No more rudeness!

[WheatGerm]

What is it going to take to change the nursing culture? I'm not talking about nurses eating their young necessarily, but just the superiority attitudes in general.

Here's my example: I went to the zoo the other day to take my mind off the NCLEX that I was unsure whether or not I passed. There were three girls sitting at a table beside me who were discussing the NCLEX (not ideal to get my mind off of it, haha). But one girl was saying that she would have been so upset if she didn't pass, and thinks if you don't pass the first time you shouldn't be a nurse. They were talking about one classmate in particular and saying how he failed and was such a loser and they would hate to know their nurse failed the NCLEX because that means you are stupid.

I've heard similar attitudes in the past. I mean, they were barely even nurses and already they have this attitude of not passing the NCLEX = you're a stupid person who shouldn't be a nurse. That is so bothersome to me as someone who considered not getting into the field due to the cattiness I had heard so much about.

Anyway, I personally think the education about kindness and consideration in the field needs to start early in nursing school to start changing the culture of nursing. It just seems like a high school clique issue that needs to be addressed before people hit the workplace. Am I the only one??

[AutumnApple]

Sorry but this will probably never happen. I only say probably because well...never say never. College is adult education and students are expected to act adult. Creating a course teaching students how to behave like the adults they are suppose to be seems a little insulting to me.

Besides, nurses aren't catty, people are catty. I promise you this happens in every work place in every field. As you witnessed yourself [or should I say eavesdropped] it is by no means limited to the work place. Pretty much whenever people gather together there is a good chance that at some point those people will talk about other people.

I did my fair share of stints as a waitress when I was younger.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: If anyone can claim to have a monopoly on 'rudeness' or 'devouring our own' it is the restaurant business, not nursing. We are like a drop of water in a lake compared to them. That's my experience anyway.

But I have to respectfully disagree about whether better relations with co-workers can be taught. In fact, I'll even go a step further and say we already do it, but (I include myself in this statement) too many nurses are missing the point when they are taught.

Yes, it would be offensive if we took it down to a childish level. We're not here to teach people when to say 'please' or 'thank you' or which fork is the salad fork lol.

I believe the 'Nursing Leadership' courses most programs offer (BSN and ADN alike) covers this area nicely. How to handle difficult people (patients and co-workers both), how to motivate the less than driven co-worker and all sorts of things come up. And yes, 'lifting one another up' instead of dragging each other down was talked about specifically too. Problem is, when we're students, our heads are rarely are in a place where such altruistic messages can be heard. While the Leadership course is going on, our minds are on the next skills test or wondering what the next clinical rotation will be like. I am not sure what the solution to that obstacle would be.

I've also worked for a number of institutions gave workshops on better teamwork. I attended many and never found them to be offensively 'basic'. In one, the message to 'lift each other up' instead of competing with each other was taken a step further, made more practical and applicable. But again, the same problem faces us here. Are people's heads in a space where lessons such as this can be taken seriously. Often these workshops are done during lunch break or are attended by nurses who must leave their unit to be present. Hard to imagine they can always quiet the stresses buzzing around their head well enough to listen.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I did my fair share of stints as a waitress when I was younger.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: If anyone can claim to have a monopoly on 'rudeness' or 'devouring our own' it is the restaurant business, not nursing. We are like a drop of water in a lake compared to them. That's my experience anyway.

But I have to respectfully disagree about whether better relations with co-workers can be taught. In fact, I'll even go a step further and say we already do it, but (I include myself in this statement) too many nurses are missing the point when they are taught.

Yes, it would be offensive if we took it down to a childish level. We're not here to teach people when to say 'please' or 'thank you' or which fork is the salad fork lol.

I believe the 'Nursing Leadership' courses most programs offer (BSN and ADN alike) covers this area nicely. How to handle difficult people (patients and co-workers both), how to motivate the less than driven co-worker and all sorts of things come up. And yes, 'lifting one another up' instead of dragging each other down was talked about specifically too. Problem is, when we're students, our heads are rarely are in a place where such altruistic messages can be heard. While the Leadership course is going on, our minds are on the next skills test or wondering what the next clinical rotation will be like. I am not sure what the solution to that obstacle would be.

I've also worked for a number of institutions gave workshops on better teamwork. I attended many and never found them to be offensively 'basic'. In one, the message to 'lift each other up' instead of competing with each other was taken a step further, made more practical and applicable. But again, the same problem faces us here. Are people's heads in a space where lessons such as this can be taken seriously. Often these workshops are done during lunch break or are attended by nurses who must leave their unit to be present. Hard to imagine they can always quiet the stresses buzzing around their head well enough to listen.

Can't "like" this enough. I think it works a lot better when civility and professionalism are part of the culture of a workplace and constantly being role-modeled by the seasoned staff. Unfortunately, TPTB often love to pit nurses against one another and condone toxic behaviours. Then they herd everyone off their unit for insulting little seminars about "managing up", scripted responses and how to "delight" people.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I actually went through the trouble of creating an account just so I could comment on this.

The first few comments (after which I stopped reading) ... I have to say ... y'all are just obnoxious.

...............................

I have worked many other places outside of nursing and found the same thing: sometimes you hit a sour group (like the crap people on this thread) and sometimes you find a really great one.

OH, the irony.

[honeyforasalteyfish]

If you want to change the perceived nursing culture you are going to have to change world wide culture in general. Most people try to be nice and polite as often as they can. They remain people sometimes especially in a high stress job they might let something slip when they think no one can hear it. Even the best people can be jerks at times. Nurses so often are expected to be above it all while frequently they deal with people at their worst. I am not saying don't set professional standards, but you know realize they will never stop being human beings. Capable of both wondrous things at times, and sometimes petty crap. You won't find a different culture anywhere you work. As it is nurses are one of the most positively viewed proffesiona in America routinley so they must be doing something right, or that wouldn't be the case.

[Zanian]

It's not good to look at forums like this for a general opinion of the whole of nursing and base a conclusion on something with a few negative circumstances. If people are angry they post stuff on the internet from their point of view and generally leave out all forms of positive circumstance that occurred.

Basically what I'm saying is that you should try to be more positive about your situation and you'll find that you won't have any problems. There may be negative nancies at work, but there are also positive paulas too.

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

To the OP, people have many high expectations of how nurses should act, but at the end of the day we are just regular people who have the job of nurses. In every profession you find there will be cattiness and backstabbing. It may more subtle but it is there. High school never ends. I happen to like most of the people I've worked and and as a group nurses are interesting people and good friends. However, to say that we need to start educating nurses early on how to be nice...may be singling out nurses from other professions which isn't fair.

I don't think not passing NCLEX the first time means you will be a terrible nurse. I don't think NCLEX is a string predictor of anything. Yes it wasn't nice that they talked about a classmate like that but I was not and will not be an isolated incident. People will talk about you. Nursing is stressful and people sometimes destress themselves by hating on other people. It is a lowly way to do it but it is effective to some. To be a nurse you need to grow a backbone. You will get flack from patients, doctors, management, and every other department. As a nurse you have so much people interaction that you are bound to be rubbed the wrong way.

To those who are asking why you were eavesdropping...give her a break. They were sitting one table away from her..so she should get up or put headphones in because they happen to be talking about something in her presence?

[caffeinatednurse, BSN, RN]

Anyway, I personally think the education about kindness and consideration in the field needs to start early in nursing school to start changing the culture of nursing. It just seems like a high school clique issue that needs to be addressed before people hit the workplace.

I graduated not too long ago (2014). Our nursing school did their very best to address attitudes like this starting in the pre-nursing classes, but the simple fact is that students can easily fake kindness, respect, and other positive qualities. One of my clinical instructors said that she wished they had a test for caring so they could figure out which nursing students really care. I have to agree with her.

All you can really do is cherish and protect those positive qualities that you have. Maybe one day you'll be able to encourage those traits in a new nurse. :)

ScheduleSchedule

[Evening_Primrose, ADN, RN]

So it's not obnoxious to eavesdrop? I think it's quite rude.

Why do we have to all be friends with people we work with? I see so many new nurses quitting their first job after less than a year. So many excuses as to why as well. There will never be a perfect job, the perfect unit or the perfect mesh of coworkers. Sometimes we just have to suck it up & get through life.

I just don't understand why so many nurses get upset at their first job when it isn't what they expected then want to quit. This scares me!

Honestly, I've read a lot of threads here and many of them have to do with things that are overheard by nurses. Things they've heard doctors say, families of patients say, etc and I can't recall anyone being castigated about eavesdropping before quite like this. Honestly, I can practically see some people clutching their pearls and shrieking "Well, I nevah!"

[heron, ASN, RN]

Honestly, I've read a lot of threads here and many of them have to do with things that are overheard by nurses. Things they've heard doctors say, families of patients say, etc and I can't recall anyone being castigated about eavesdropping before quite like this. Honestly, I can practically see some people clutching their pearls and shrieking "Well, I nevah!"

It may be that it was overheard at a zoo - not at work. The OP seemed at first to feel entitled to police nurses' every word, thought and deed on and off the job. It sure put the hairs up on the back of my neck. She later clarified that she was referring to workplace behavior, so I decided not to address it.

IOW, it was the OP doing the pearl-clutching to start with.

ETA: I hold many opinions that co-workers would find hurtful or offensive. On the job, I hold my tongue, even when asked. As a charge nurse, I let staff know very clearly that gossip can become a formal disciplinary matter if it creates a hostile workplace. BUT off the job, my speech and opinions are my own and I don't feel under any obligation to censor them because some one else thinks nurses aren't supposed to think or speak that way.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I personally think the education about kindness and consideration in the field needs to start early in nursing school to start changing the culture of nursing.

Education about kindness and civility is not going to automatically cause a person to become kind and civil. These are personality traits that take shape during the formative years.

Education about kindness might cause rude people to be mindful enough to pretend being kind and considerate in certain situations. However, true kindness and civility come from within. If these traits have not developed by the time one reaches adulthood, I think it is too late.

[knurse10]

Failing the NCLEX has more to do with poor test taking skills and/or anxiety, not the definition of what kind of nurse you will be.

Most nurses, when unsure, seek expert opinion from a more experienced nurse or physician.

[CTtechorRN]

I think that during clinicals, students have a very naive point of view and tend to be overly harsh. Its only once they get into the real world and get their hands dirty that they can be a little more objective...

I remember while I was in school one of my classmates was bragging up and down that she was to be hired at the hospital where she trained. This was a big deal since it was during a hiring famine and a lot of us were vying for the same jobs. And as fate would have it, she barley passed her classes and was never hired at that hospital...

Let 'em talk