No Respect.

Nurses General Nursing

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Where did the respect go for nurses and doctors? My nurse friend whom is in her silver years was a nurse many many decades ago and recently has retired.

I was telling her a story of a patient whom I received from the cath lab. The patient arrived as usual from most operational/procedural suites, a hot mess. Lines and tubing everywhere. Bloody sheets and so forth.

Well soemhow the family snuck in with her and it was such a busy night with no tech or secretary so instead of the family being told to wait in the waiting area (while I settled her in) they chose to barge in with the patient and began ordering me on what needed to be done!

I nicely and kindly explained to the daughter what the priorities at the moment were and why, despite my explanations she said

"well the priority right now is getting her (the pt) water and ice".

EYEROLL

Excuse me but that's not the priority and I told her so. I told her that with all due respect I've been doing this for a while and although I understood her mom was thirsty, I had to assess her mom and wait for the fellow to give further instructions.

She finally settled down and stopped talking.

I find this behavior annoying, and families are equally entitled acting and rude to physicians. They do not care that you are an expert and there to care for them. We are not the enemies. We went to school and have experience, and before we can accommodate to your every wish we must ensure your safety.

Anyway, my nurse friend commented how in her early years as a nurse DECADES ago... people respected nurses and doctors more than they do now.

Guess this is just a rant vent. One more reason I want to leave ICU.

Also, I'm so done with the elimination of visitor restricted hours and this new fad in "open visitation".

Specializes in Critical Care.
Based on your post history, you don't seem to be very happy. Maybe it's time to explore something new.

Okay. Thanks for your astute analysis. Yes, it's clear I am not happy with the ICU. I know this. I recognize this. Nursing is vast and the opportunities are many. Right now I have about 4 years of experience and my ADN. By the time I finish my BSN I'll have 5-6 years of experience and enrolled in NP school (I'm in a dual degree program).

But this post wasn't really about my personal unhappiness with the ICU and where I need to take my career path.

It's about the lack of respect and rudeness that is for some reason especially present when dealing with these chronic illnesses at their worst. Work a few years in the ICU as a full fledged RN and you'll see what I mean. The frequent flyer and their families have a way of chipping away at your morale.

This isn't the nightingale nursing you learn about in school :)

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This is the product of viewing patients as customers in a society where the customer is always right.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i would be interested in knowing from some of the older nurses if it has been more of a negative experience with patients treating nurses with less respect? Or if relationships have improved? I have a similar experience level to yours so I can't answer.

.

After forty years at the bedside, I can speak to that question. While physicians treat nurses with far MORE respect that they did forty years ago, patients and families treat us with far LESS respect.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
This is the product of viewing patients as customers in a society where the customer is always right.

Ain't that the truth.

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Not silver yet, but retiring. Doctors are certainly still respected, nurses.. not so much. There are open visiting hours because of HCAPS and reimbursement. Leave it to the the government , to screw things up.

I feel your pain. However, your demeanor means everything in these situations. It is still within your power.. to show visitors to the door.

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Meh. These facts are not about personal problems, anyway. There are troubling difficulties within acute care; some people talk more openly or frequently about them than others do. It's been interesting to watch how often those with both hands in the mess love to talk about happiness and "personal problems" and attempt to impugn nurse after nurse after nurse ad infinitum as if distress should be blamed upon thousands of bedside nurses' individual personal problems. LOL, that gig is up! It's time to hear more about the type of "personal problems" that lead others to take such pride in constantly undermining the idea of excellent patient care.

ETA: This is the same reason I reject the term "burn out" as it has recently come to be used. Intolerance of insanity does not equal burnout.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
Not silver yet, but retiring. Doctors are certainly still respected, nurses.. not so much. There are open visiting hours because of HCAPS and reimbursement. Leave it to the the government , to screw things up.

I feel your pain. However, your demeanor means everything in these situations. It is still within your power.. to show visitors to the door.

You got that right. Few nights ago I asked the family to wait in the visitors area and the tech to show the 7 visitors my patient came with to the visitors lounge.

This isn't a circus, your extended cousins don't have to see us wiping you down and poking you. And honestly I need some space to settle you in, because quite frankly you are a hot mess at the moment. This is the ICU, not the Hilton. I'm here to treat your open gap, elevated ammonia, DTs, COPD, CHF, GERD, and potassium or 10.0 not your family to complimentary drinks.

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Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

It did not started yesterday and going on well beyond medical field. Just ask someone who works in retail or hospitality industry.

I see more causes for it than the ubiquitous "customer is always right" mindset. There is, definitely, a whole lot of unhealthy entitlement in modern US society(as well as in many other, more or less developed countries - since I travel, I get plenty of unsavory opportunities to see it). A whole lot of very wrong priorities. Lack of empathy, critical thinking and basic common sense, in addition to the lack of elementary school knowledge. Last but not least, political correctness and so-called "professionalism".

Speaking with people the language they understand with no scripting and no confusing words like "risks", "benefits" and "priorities" (and no any "ifs", "ands" and "buts" as well) helps a lot. Letting them know the clear plan of action first thing after "hi" helps, too. They should get immediate feeling who is and will remain the main person there (the patient, NOT them) and who's running the show (the staff RN, again NOT them). Most of lay people are not enjoying modern medical care, and especially "decision making" for someone else, so if there is a person who clearly showing that he/she knows what is going on, they frequently feel reassured and becoming less preoccupied with senseless "very important" demands. In addition, making them busy with something helps tremendously. It can be enough to explain them 3or 4 basic monitor numbers and limits (made more flexible, for easiness) and they will be happy enjoying red and yellow lines dancing (and useful calling me if sedation started to wean off, for just one example). The key is to keep them busy and occupied while remaining calm, polite and self-assured.

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

I had a nurse manager tell me once, "We as a healthcare industry have created this monster, now we as nurses have to feed it". It's the Hilton Healthcare effect. I work LTC, and trust me, the disrespect is everywhere.

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People also used to respect clergy, police officers, teachers, the military, and the president for that matter. Today almost nothing is sacred and the lack of respect for anyone is on the rise. It's called a rotting culture and I don't see that getting better. Nursing is rewarding in a lot of ways, but if you are looking to feel respected day in and day out you will wind up disappointed.

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Where did the respect go for nurses and doctors? My nurse friend whom is in her silver years was a nurse many many decades ago and recently has retired.

I was telling her a story of a patient whom I received from the cath lab. The patient arrived as usual from most operational/procedural suites, a hot mess. Lines and tubing everywhere. Bloody sheets and so forth.

Well soemhow the family snuck in with her and it was such a busy night with no tech or secretary so instead of the family being told to wait in the waiting area (while I settled her in) they chose to barge in with the patient and began ordering me on what needed to be done!

I nicely and kindly explained to the daughter what the priorities at the moment were and why, despite my explanations she said

"well the priority right now is getting her (the pt) water and ice".

EYEROLL

Excuse me but that's not the priority and I told her so. I told her that with all due respect I've been doing this for a while and although I understood her mom was thirsty, I had to assess her mom and wait for the fellow to give further instructions.

She finally settled down and stopped talking.

I find this behavior annoying, and families are equally entitled acting and rude to physicians. They do not care that you are an expert and there to care for them. We are not the enemies. We went to school and have experience, and before we can accommodate to your every wish we must ensure your safety.

Anyway, my nurse friend commented how in her early years as a nurse DECADES ago... people respected nurses and doctors more than they do now.

Guess this is just a rant vent. One more reason I want to leave ICU.

Also, I'm so done with the elimination of visitor restricted hours and this new fad in "open visitation".

Are you kidding me cardiacdork? Get the woman some ice and water, ftlog! What's your deal??? Why don't you assess the woman is dry and wants water? You wonder why we don't get respect?! Really? Listen to the patient! Get the water! Family is good for patients!

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Are you kidding me cardiacdork? Get the woman some ice and water, ftlog! What's your deal??? Why don't you assess the woman is dry and wants water? You wonder why we don't get respect?! Really? Listen to the patient! Get the water! Family is good for patients!

Respectfully, no. Cath patient coming to ICU? I work cardiac and when I get a cath patient back, I'm assessing and getting those q15 vitals first thing. I have told family that the water has to wait before and I would never change that.

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