No Respect.

Nurses General Nursing

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Where did the respect go for nurses and doctors? My nurse friend whom is in her silver years was a nurse many many decades ago and recently has retired.

I was telling her a story of a patient whom I received from the cath lab. The patient arrived as usual from most operational/procedural suites, a hot mess. Lines and tubing everywhere. Bloody sheets and so forth.

Well soemhow the family snuck in with her and it was such a busy night with no tech or secretary so instead of the family being told to wait in the waiting area (while I settled her in) they chose to barge in with the patient and began ordering me on what needed to be done!

I nicely and kindly explained to the daughter what the priorities at the moment were and why, despite my explanations she said

"well the priority right now is getting her (the pt) water and ice".

EYEROLL

Excuse me but that's not the priority and I told her so. I told her that with all due respect I've been doing this for a while and although I understood her mom was thirsty, I had to assess her mom and wait for the fellow to give further instructions.

She finally settled down and stopped talking.

I find this behavior annoying, and families are equally entitled acting and rude to physicians. They do not care that you are an expert and there to care for them. We are not the enemies. We went to school and have experience, and before we can accommodate to your every wish we must ensure your safety.

Anyway, my nurse friend commented how in her early years as a nurse DECADES ago... people respected nurses and doctors more than they do now.

Guess this is just a rant vent. One more reason I want to leave ICU.

Also, I'm so done with the elimination of visitor restricted hours and this new fad in "open visitation".

I think it's time to STOP telling nurses with valid observations about the profession (yes, even negative observations/realities) to leave. How the heck else is anything supposed to get better if we don't constructively discuss what's legitimately wrong. Or, even share experiences to help each other learn or cope. Maybe if people didn't react like @ItsThatJenGirl we would have more camaraderie and be stronger as a profession. No wonder bad patient behaviour is escalating with a dismissive attitude like that, which actually enables bad patient behaviour.

Customer satisfaction scoring is a catalyst IMO to the deterioration of respect for nurses and healthcare professionals alike. RN to most patients nowadays means Refreshments and Narcotics, and they know all sorts of tricks to get a dutiful nurse in trouble if said nurse doesn't do cartwheels every time they snap their fingers. For example, for something ridiculous, like... failing to get a patient the daily newspaper. Meanwhile, said nurse was wrist deep in wound care in an isolation room on an understaffed unit and thus unable to fetch a newspaper.

Sometimes the nurse is not the "problem".

My post had nothing to do with nursing - or the validity of his complaints. It had to do with the general vibe I get from this particular poster as a person. I'm entitled to those opinions, despite the fact that I'm not a nurse yet. I said he seems unhappy - that's it. I'm pushing 40 and have lots of life and forum experience with unhappy people. I didn't say he shouldn't be a nurse, or that his particular complaint was wrong or off base. Based on all the other posts around here, his issue is very common. I certainly wasn't dismissing it. As some so astutely pointed out, I'm not even a nurse yet! How would I know?

But based on many responses here, my input isn't welcome. That's fine.

Perhaps next time someone has a problem with me, they'll give me the courtesy of a private conversation via PM, instead of talking about me like I'm not a real person with feelings. This was pretty unpleasant to wake up to - but what does that matter? I'm not a nurse yet.

Niklat....overachieve much?? 😏

Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
And only 18 years old!

She's a prodigy, kind of like Kim Jung Un, who drove at 3 yo!

Specializes in ED, psych.
My post had nothing to do with nursing - or the validity of his complaints. It had to do with the general vibe I get from this particular poster as a person. I'm entitled to those opinions, despite the fact that I'm not a nurse yet. I said he seems unhappy - that's it. I'm pushing 40 and have lots of life and forum experience with unhappy people. I didn't say he shouldn't be a nurse, or that his particular complaint was wrong or off base. Based on all the other posts around here, his issue is very common. I certainly wasn't dismissing it. As some so astutely pointed out, I'm not even a nurse yet! How would I know?

But based on many responses here, my input isn't welcome. That's fine.

Perhaps next time someone has a problem with me, they'll give me the courtesy of a private conversation via PM, instead of talking about me like I'm not a real person with feelings. This was pretty unpleasant to wake up to - but what does that matter? I'm not a nurse yet.

Whilst I agree that the OP seemed to me to be merely venting, I can see where your original comment could enter the conversation (as the poster had shifted gears in past posts to going for his CRNA to BSN etc).

When I read through the pp's it did had that "ganged up" vibe, what with the laughing emoticons and specifically pointing you out by name but not personally addressing you. I think the thread could have lived without those and a PM would have been more appropriate. For a post to discuss camaraderie while at the same time negating any contribution you add to the conversation is ... odd.

I, for one, happen to enjoy your thread contributions. I hope this experience doesn't dissuade you.

On 12/6/2017 at 3:21 PM, Purple_roses said:

This is the product of viewing patients as customers in a society where the customer is always right.

And about the general moral decay of our society.

On 12/6/2017 at 4:11 PM, Been there,done that said:

Not silver yet, but retiring. Doctors are certainly still respected, nurses.. not so much. There are open visiting hours because of HCAPS and reimbursement. Leave it to the the government , to screw things up.

I feel your pain. However, your demeanor means everything in these situations. It is still within your power.. to show visitors to the door.

One way to do this is to say "He is going to be naked while I get him cleaned and settled. Anyone who shouldn't see him naked should step out for a bit". I usually get a taker or 2.

With the dtr OP mentioned, you did a good job, OP, of settling her down. I do understand your upset with Security not warding off drunks or druggies, but you can maybe point them in the best direction, too, if you make it about the well-being of their loved one (your pt).

"I know you want your Mom clean and comfortable. And I want to give her the best care. To do that I need to read the doctor's orders, which he has not written yet. The best way for you to help your Mom is to let me do my work and get her settled in." Or something like that.

On 12/9/2017 at 12:51 PM, hppygr8ful said:

It's been my experience that when someone uses the term, With all due respect, to me they are not showing me any respect at all. In fact the phrase is rude and dismissive in most cases. What you essentially said to this woman was that her mother's comfort was not important to you. Providing comfort is one of the primary jobs a nurse performs. I could understand if the patient was unstable but this was not mentioned in the OP. The patient was a hot mess in soiled and bloody sheets and very thirsty. Some contrast agents and leave a patient with a cotton mouth. It would have taken you all but a minute to get the lady some ice chips which the daughter could have fed to the patient.

I have been a patient more times that I care to mention with serious painful conditions. I always remember those nurse who smiled, saw to my comfort (Thrist, pain, warmth) prior to lengthy assessments. I also have a mother with dementia who requires frequent hospitalization. I sometimes have to explain that her behaviors are directly associated with physical discomfort which he can't express verbally and since she is allergic to benzo's her comfort needs to be attended to frequently. We usually have a family member at bedside but I have been called in the middle of the night to get consent for restraints. "When I ask if she's wet, thirsty, hungry etc..... "I usually get I am not sure!"

Sure enough a change of her brief settled her right down. The hospital she usually goes to does not allow family to provide bedside care for liability reasons. So nurses and aides must perform the care. We can do water and ice chips but since these are in a locked pantry the nurse or aid has to get it for us.

To be clear I am not a perfect nurse - but I do deal with an extremely demanding population and have almost never encountered the disrespect you describe. I do attempt to kill everyone with kindness as well as let people know what's realistically possible for me to do and in what timeframe.

Just my 2 cents on the matter.

Hppy

I think he hadn't even gotten the orders yet or had a chance to assess the pt. Giving ice chips, maybe having to run 1/2 way around the floor to get them, doesn't seem right at that point.

On 12/10/2017 at 6:11 AM, lemur00 said:

I feel your pain. We had a pt that somehow obtained the site manager's number and called to complain vociferously that the nurses were purposefully neglecting her by refusing to get her water and ice while they ran a code in the next bed. :roflmao:

You laugh so you don't cry.

Did the Manager side with the family?

On 12/12/2017 at 6:43 PM, DextersDisciple said:
wondern said:
I guess I've been extremely blessed to not have patients and families be disrespectful or condescending too much. Very rarely. I do look at patients as customers in a way because of how much I want them to feel satisfied with the care they are getting after making sure they're safe of course. Some people pay a lot of money for their health care. I would love to make them feel like they were in the 'Hilton with tubes' as much as possible. Ha!

Healthy debate is a good thing. So are varying perspectives. You said the floor was short staffed. The family is usually there to help. Maybe you could have asked her to go to the nurses station and ask for a cup of ice while you checked vitals and untangled spaghetti.

You said yourself you were happy to be leaving ICU and were just ranting so I would think a differing opinion might be expected maybe. Family is usually there to help not hinder.[/QOut

I thought you were being sarcastic at first and was shocked when you weren't. Ice chips are not a priority for a critical care patient s/p cardiac cab. This thought process is very concerning...

Who should the family asked? There was no secretary to ask.

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