No alcohol. NONE

Nurses Recovery

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Hey everyone!

I am brand spankin new in recovery and just signed my contract last week. I am in recovery for opioid use. I understand the reason behind not using any mood altering substance while in the program. However, just because we understand something doesn't make it easy. This past weekend was so hard for me.. and not because of narcotics. I am 26 and live in Charlotte with my boyfriend. Of course.. this past weekend we met up with friends for dinner and immediately I'm questioned as to why I didn't order a drink with dinner. Then everyone wants to check out a new brewery downtown but I am DREADING IT because I know I can't drink and have to come up with ANOTHER explanation. I guess I didn't realize how often alcohol is involved in my social life. I don't care to quit drinking, but I guess its just the CONSTANT excuses I will have to give to people which will be a constant reminder of my mistakes. I'm also a little upset about no champagne on my wedding day or margaritas on my honeymoon. How have you guys delt with this? Has it been difficult for anyone else? Thanks!

Specializes in OR.

All of which makes sense in the science of things, in obesity and substance use, abuse whether it be drugs, alcohol, nicotine or cupcakes. The issue at hand however is that the programs blithely ignore every. Single. Thing. You say in favor of old school 12 step methodology that for the most part is complete BS and a punishment based system that serves only to break the nurse emotionally and financially and drives many a good nurse away from the profession.

These programs yammer on about how addiction is a disease (in agreement with what you say) but then ignore what the current science is for appropriate treatment and consign a nurse to years of unethical money grabbing ruin. There are so many different possibilities for treatments out there from medications to different forms of therapy to yes, the 12 step stuff (it does help some people) why does our own ignore this when we should be the ones at the forefront of these kind of treatments?

As you are getting your MS, please do not forget all of the helpful things out there and become one of the robots who think that the world can be fixed by sitting in 12 step meetings all day......

All of which makes sense in the science of things, in obesity and substance use, abuse whether it be drugs, alcohol, nicotine or cupcakes. The issue at hand however is that the programs blithely ignore every. Single. Thing. You say in favor of old school 12 step methodology that for the most part is complete BS and a punishment based system that serves only to break the nurse emotionally and financially and drives many a good nurse away from the profession.

These programs yammer on about how addiction is a disease (in agreement with what you say) but then ignore what the current science is for appropriate treatment and consign a nurse to years of unethical money grabbing ruin. There are so many different possibilities for treatments out there from medications to different forms of therapy to yes, the 12 step stuff (it does help some people) why does our own ignore this when we should be the ones at the forefront of these kind of treatments?

As you are getting your MS, please do not forget all of the helpful things out there and become one of the robots who think that the world can be fixed by sitting in 12 step meetings all day......

I was merely responding to the post above that suggested that if nurses would use our common sense from A&P and we would avoid addiction all together. That is egregiously incorrect.

As a solid member of a cookie cutter monitoring program serving my 5 year time, I assure you that I am neither 12 step endorsing nor a fan of shoving an entire category of people into one ill-fitting box. I'm pursuing my Master's precisely because I was unhappy with the options out there for myself and I want to do more than spout words about what is broken...I want to be an active part of the solution.

With respect to nursing and these monitoring programs. I don't think the biology of sugars, nicotine or substances matter UNLESS they affect a nurses ability to do their job. I think unless it can be proved that a nurse was actually impaired at work or did something at work like diverting drugs these programs should have no place at all. Nurses like patients are allowed to make poor choices. If a nurse decides to drink herself to sleep after a night shift with a meal of twinkies that's the nurses business unless she comes to work impaired. I'd hold the same for recreational drug use. If a nurse smokes a joint on a weekend and never comes to work high how is that anybody's business? What would that do to these programs? It would cut their size by at least 2/3rd from what I've seen. The 1/3rd left may need some form of treatment but it shouldn't be simply a fancy and expensive way of saying go to a free meeting. You don't need medical professionals to shovel folks into a voluntary support group that really has never been tested as an effective model of treating anything. You have a few anecdotal studies but nothing that says this a definitive treatment option and the results are dismal. Frankly I think the whole substance abuse industry gets a pass when it comes to effective treatment. If we had a drug or treatment plan that was constantly as ineffective as what is happening in that industry no insurance company or government insurance would fund it. It's corrupt and ineffective and in many cases only there to keep people in jobs and out of jail involuntarily. As least the 12 steppers do what they do out of the kindness of their hearts. The "professionals" have a profit motive

Specializes in OR.

Ah, I do see. I greatly appreciate your words. This guy you were responding to seems to be the one that is wayyyyyy over simplifying the issue. He seems to think it is a case of "addiction is a choice." Well, I got news for him....I don't think it's a choice, neither is my bipolar and mental illness and substance abuse tend to be closely related as I am sure you are aware. I am pretty sure that you and everyone on this thread didn't wake up one day and say " hey, I think I'm gonna be an addict." I know I did not decide to be bipolar. I can think of a few other things I'd prefer to have.

I did not scroll back far enough to realize that you were responding to someone who needing schooling. I had not had enough coffee yet. Thank you for doing so in a very nice way.

I too am a solid member of a cookie cutter program that I don't belong in. I have 544 days of a 5 year sentence to go, but who's counting....

Hey everyone!

I am brand spankin new in recovery and just signed my contract last week. I am in recovery for opioid use. I understand the reason behind not using any mood altering substance while in the program. However, just because we understand something doesn't make it easy. This past weekend was so hard for me.. and not because of narcotics. I am 26 and live in Charlotte with my boyfriend. Of course.. this past weekend we met up with friends for dinner and immediately I'm questioned as to why I didn't order a drink with dinner. Then everyone wants to check out a new brewery downtown but I am DREADING IT because I know I can't drink and have to come up with ANOTHER explanation. I guess I didn't realize how often alcohol is involved in my social life. I don't care to quit drinking, but I guess its just the CONSTANT excuses I will have to give to people which will be a constant reminder of my mistakes. I'm also a little upset about no champagne on my wedding day or margaritas on my honeymoon. How have you guys delt with this? Has it been difficult for anyone else? Thanks!

I just tell them I drank up their share, my share and the share of the guy panhandling outside the liquor store before the 1980s were up. My wedding and honeymoon were much better for this...

Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU.

Sounds like you need a temporary excuse for a temporary problem.

With new acquaintances you teach them who you are. They may be assuming a 26 year old will be a big drinker so you can just say, "Oh, I'm not much of a drinker and I don't feel like having any tonight."

Lighthearted "joke" answers work well. "I'm your designated driver when you get all shitfaced drunk and wanna get outta this joint.", "I'm saving myself for that one special drink.", "I might be getting pregnant and I don't want them turning out like my nutty brother.", "Mama says proper ladies only drink from real crystal.".

Or the very simplistic, "I don't drink" with the dismissive attitude that discourages further prying.

I just tell people I don't drink anymore because it puts me to sleep, and I prefer to stay awake. Works, no further questions.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Training for a marathon

Specializes in Psych ICU, addictions.
Hey everyone!

I am brand spankin new in recovery and just signed my contract last week. I am in recovery for opioid use. I understand the reason behind not using any mood altering substance while in the program. However, just because we understand something doesn't make it easy. This past weekend was so hard for me.. and not because of narcotics. I am 26 and live in Charlotte with my boyfriend. Of course.. this past weekend we met up with friends for dinner and immediately I'm questioned as to why I didn't order a drink with dinner. Then everyone wants to check out a new brewery downtown but I am DREADING IT because I know I can't drink and have to come up with ANOTHER explanation. I guess I didn't realize how often alcohol is involved in my social life. I don't care to quit drinking, but I guess its just the CONSTANT excuses I will have to give to people which will be a constant reminder of my mistakes. I'm also a little upset about no champagne on my wedding day or margaritas on my honeymoon. How have you guys delt with this? Has it been difficult for anyone else? Thanks!

Yeah, it's hard, especially when you've been known to drink and now suddenly have to go teetotaler. People can be so damn nosy about why you're not drinking, and some feel like they have license to pester you about the why.

Why I do not drink, smoke, whatever, is no one's business than my own. So I usually say I'm just not doing it anymore and leave it at that. I see the occasional eyebrow go up but I don't elaborate. I'm sure more than a few people wonder why.

However, I'm also a full supporter of omission or outright fibbing, AA/NA be darned, especially if you're having a hard time at first, and/or there's no reason for these people to know or you don't want them to know. IMO, AA/NA doesn't necessarily mean you have to wear a scarlet A(ddict) on your sleeve. Nor should anyone force you to.

So some lines you can use...

You're on medication.

You're the Designated Driver.

You're trying to be healthier to lose weight/improve cholesterol/train for a triathlon/whatever reason.

Alcohol gives you headaches/heartburn/whatever.

You're just not feeling in the mood for it.

You have to get up really early tomorrow.

You made a bet to see how long you can do this (Seriously. I've signed on for a few Dryathalons--there's no prerequisite that you have to be an alcohol drinker to participate, just that you're promising not to drink in January--and even raised some money for cancer research in the process). Since it's not January, find a similar challenge and sign on so you feel official.

As far as going to events that are heavily alcohol-centered, you may want to opt out of going for right now until you feel more comfortable. Suddenly come up with a previous engagement, extend your apologizes, and promise to make it to a future outing. If you can't get out of it, such as your wedding and honeymoon, use virgin substitutes. No one has to know the bubbly you're toasting with is sparkling cider, and there are plenty of virgin drink recipes. Just be sure the bartenders understand that you REALLY can't have alcohol.

And YES, you can have fun without alcohol, a lot more than fun than you think you will have. It is tough at first and does take adjustment, especially if you were a social drinker...but one day you'll wonder why you felt you needed it to have fun in the first place. I have the T shirt to prove it.

You can do this.

... Even though it may be meaningless and probably quickly forgotten to the person who asked, "oh I'm just choosing to not drink" is a lie that would chew at me because I would know that's not my choice.

...

It is not a lie. You are choosing not to drink.

You can choose to not drink and keep your job, or you can choose to drink and loose your job.

See, choices.

There are consequences for your actions. If you did not want to have to choose to drink or not, you should not have made the choice to do whatever got you into that situation. If you want to keep drinking or abusing drugs, you can choose to do that, but again, there are consequences to that choice.

Yeah, it's hard, especially when you've been known to drink and now suddenly have to go teetotaler. People can be so damn nosy about why you're not drinking, and some feel like they have license to pester you about the why.

Why I do not drink, smoke, whatever, is no one's business than my own. So I usually say I'm just not doing it anymore and leave it at that. I see the occasional eyebrow go up but I don't elaborate. I'm sure more than a few people wonder why.

However, I'm also a full supporter of omission or outright fibbing, AA/NA be darned, especially if you're having a hard time at first, and/or there's no reason for these people to know or you don't want them to know. IMO, AA/NA doesn't necessarily mean you have to wear a scarlet A(ddict) on your sleeve. Nor should anyone force you to.

So some lines you can use...

You're on medication.

You're the Designated Driver.

You're trying to be healthier to lose weight/improve cholesterol/train for a triathlon/whatever reason.

Alcohol gives you headaches/heartburn/whatever.

You're just not feeling in the mood for it.

You have to get up really early tomorrow.

You made a bet to see how long you can do this (Seriously. I've signed on for a few Dryathalons--there's no prerequisite that you have to be an alcohol drinker to participate, just that you're promising not to drink in January--and even raised some money for cancer research in the process). Since it's not January, find a similar challenge and sign on so you feel official.

As far as going to events that are heavily alcohol-centered, you may want to opt out of going for right now until you feel more comfortable. Suddenly come up with a previous engagement, extend your apologizes, and promise to make it to a future outing. If you can't get out of it, such as your wedding and honeymoon, use virgin substitutes. No one has to know the bubbly you're toasting with is sparkling cider, and there are plenty of virgin drink recipes. Just be sure the bartenders understand that you REALLY can't have alcohol.

And YES, you can have fun without alcohol, a lot more than fun than you think you will have. It is tough at first and does take adjustment, especially if you were a social drinker...but one day you'll wonder why you felt you needed it to have fun in the first place. I have the T shirt to prove it.

You can do this.

This was so incredibly helpful. Thank you so much

Specializes in OR.

I think I have a personal disconnect because there was nothing I chose to do that got me a ride on this boat. I did not choose my illness. I am suffering consequences for a choice I did not make. Throughout my posts I have not taken issue with the existence of being monitoring so much as I have taken issue with being labeled an addict and treated thusly by the money making "rehab industrial complex" and is close tentacles to these programs. I am now stuck in a program that is geared towards those with alcohol and substance abuse issues. When I asked for help, when I asked my own for behavioral health treatment, instead I got drug/alcohol treatment and a fleecing of my bank account.

So, yes when I am asked why I don't drink, I feel like I lie. I feel like a liar being forced to sit in an AA meeting. Lying bothers me. So yes Nalon....I am lying and it does bother me. But that's just me.

I'm going bow out of this thread now because I probably should not have piped up to begin with....

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