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New Grad and Newlywed

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I just have a question about being a new grad and a newlywed. I graduate in December and will be getting married in April of 2017. I want to get some experience just so I can get my career started. But what about starting a family? I want kids, my husband will want kids. How do I balance that AND being a new nurse????

Tell me your opinions and experiences.

Thousands of women manage every day just fine.

Even if you immediately become pregnant, by the time you have the baby, you'll have a year under your belt.

Also, talk to your future husband. He's much better equipped to give you input on your lives than us.

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia. Has 40 years experience.

Same as any of the other millions of working women in the US.

Sour Lemon

Has 9 years experience.

How old are you and how important are children to you? I don't necessarily need to know the answers, but those are definitely questions that you should ask yourself. I would further caution you that babies don't always happen when you plan them. I see so many people plan to "get pregnant in July" or "have a baby next fall". Sometimes they're still trying ten years later.

I understand that millions of women working have had kids. I'm just trying to figure out since I will be a new nurse how it would be if I immediately got pregnant.

21. I want a family. He wants a family too. Just didn't know how it would look on my employment, how it would look to employers, etc. I know really the first 3 years is hard for a new nurse while they are developing their skills and better nursing practice.

How old are you and how important are children to you? I don't necessarily need to know the answers, but those are definitely questions that you should ask yourself. I would further caution you that babies don't always happen when you plan them. I see so many people plan to "get pregnant in July" or "have a baby next fall". Sometimes they're still trying ten years later.

I wonder if your username reflects you and how to comment on other peoples stuff? lol

Same as any of the other millions of working women in the US.

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life). Has 18 years experience.

I just have a question about being a new grad and a newlywed. I graduate in December and will be getting married in April of 2017. I want to get some experience just so I can get my career started. But what about starting a family? I want kids, my husband will want kids. How do I balance that AND being a new nurse????

Tell me your opinions and experiences.

Well I got married two days before I started Nursing school and pregnant half way through the program. It all depends on the priorities you have - nothing is impossible.

Hppy

RNperdiem, RN

Has 14 years experience.

At the age of 21 you have the luxury of giving your marriage time to form a strong bond before having kids. Even a strong marriage feels the strain when a baby is born.

You have the time to give your new job your full attention and work any shift without having to worry about childcare. Your ability to make a good living is your most important financial asset. Invest in it now and build yourself a good emergency fund/savings account.

I was married a couple of years and established in a job I liked when I had kids. Since I was well known, my manager let me work per diem so I could arrange my schedule the way I liked.

Well I got married two days before I started Nursing school and pregnant half way through the program. It all depends on the priorities you have - nothing is impossible.

Hppy

I agree. Thank you.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN

Has 33 years experience.

21. I want a family. He wants a family too. Just didn't know how it would look on my employment, how it would look to employers, etc. I know really the first 3 years is hard for a new nurse while they are developing their skills and better nursing practice.

You have plenty of time to start your family. You only have one chance to get your foundation in nursing. Having babies will require your full time and attention, so will your first couple of years in nursing. Have you thought about how you would juggle a newborn and your career? It is very hard and costly to obtain quality childcare. Also very hard to leave the little critters with someone else, when you go back to work.

Best of luck with your decision.

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN

Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia. Has 40 years experience.

I wonder if your username reflects you and how to comment on other peoples stuff? lol

My username reflects a 1970's Chrysler advertisement. You posted on an internet forum. I commented my thoughts. That's how this works.

I understand that millions of women working have had kids. I'm just trying to figure out since I will be a new nurse how it would be if I immediately got pregnant.

This is my opinion, and mine alone.

In a perfect world I would not get pregnant within the first few years of marriage. I also wouldn't get pregnant at 21 (I had my first at 25, and I still feel like I was too young). I wouldn't get pregnant right out of nursing school. I'd allow for a few years for career development.

Again, these are purely my opinions, based on my experience with life as a wife/mom/student/working person.

Good luck.

DowntheRiver

Specializes in Urgent Care, Oncology. Has 6 years experience.

What are your priorities? If having a child is more important to you than nursing, then have a kid then worry about nursing. If nursing is more important, discuss it with your fiancé. There's time to have children. Don't stress about it. People will tell you to try now because you might be infertile in the future. It's always a possibility. It's a reality for me but I don't regret it because I do have an excellent nursing career. So now my husband (who also focused on his career) and I have the income to go through IVF or adopt, whichever we chose. Things always have a way of working themselves out. If you have this ideal timeline in your head chances are you are going to be disappointed. I always, always, always thought I'd have a kid by the time I was 28 but here I am, 30 and still trying to figure it out. Again, YOU need to decide your priorities with your fiancé.

Also, unless you have your BSN, it should not be reflected in your username - am I correct moderators? I am an RN with an ASN working on my BSN but since I have not attained that degree it is not reflected in my username and/or AN credentials.

Graduating at 21, married at 21/22 you have time to get a couple of years of experience sans whatever pregnancy symptoms you might end up having. I had *easy* pregnancies but still had some mild morning sickness and dog tired in the first trimesters. Once I had my skill set better developed, I could do my job well despite the discomforts of pregnancy. And before that I could go home and sleep to my hearts content after exhausting stressful workdays with no dependents needing me yet.

Millions might combine everything and ride the stress out but why not be one of those rarities who spaces it out optimally?

Mavrick, BSN, RN

Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU. Has 30 years experience.

Is it really necessary to take on all that new stuff at once?

Sounds like lots of stress points that could be avoided.

Learning time management and prioritizing is a useful nursing skill.

Edited by Mavrick

Mavrick, BSN, RN

Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU. Has 30 years experience.

Also, unless you have your BSN, it should not be reflected in your username - am I correct moderators? I am an RN with an ASN working on my BSN but since I have not attained that degree it is not reflected in my username and/or AN credentials.

I'm not a moderator but I do agree with your interpretation of the TOS.

You don't have a BSN until you have received the degree from your educational institution, you aren't an RN until you have received that designation from your Board of Nursing and you aren't Mrs. Anybody until you sign the papers.

It would be good practice to obtain the designation before you (OP) start using it.

You did ask for opinions. Do you want to write them as well?

Edited by Mavrick

A long while ago I graduated in December, got married shortly after and moved with my husband to a new city. I started my first job right after I got married. We waited a few years to have kids and I wouldn't change a thing on how we did it. Each step is stressful in its own right, no need to compound things more than necessary. If your nursing degree is important to you, get some solid experience. Once you have that it will open more doors for you and give you more flexibility for when you do have children.

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