New Grad: Mom doesn't want me to work night shift

RNKPCE · Mar 11, 2009

It sounds like she is concerned about several things. The one thing, her having to be quiet during the day while you are sleeping is legitimate. That directly changes her way at home. That would be remedied by moving out. The other stuff is your business you are an adult.

htrn · Mar 11, 2009

From your parents perspective - it will inconvience them to have to keep the house quiet while you sleep - it makes my family crazy. There have also been some headlines recently about adverse health effects on those of us that work the night shift which could also be concerning for your mother.

I feel for your mom as I have a young adult that is living at home again, but I am also a night nurse and love it. Some advantages to working nights are higher rate of pay, less likely to be called off for low census as there are fewer nurses usually scheduled on nocs in the first place, more learning opportunities (you will be available during the day to catch a lecture if you don't need the sleep).

Night nurses have to learn to be more independent and practice with a bit more autonomy simply because there are usually fewer ancillary staff around on nights. We don't avoid calling the docs in the middle of the night, but you learn very quickly to organize your thoughts and patient information before you wake them up at 3am.

Bottom line, good night nurses mean the world to docs and patients. The night nurse "culture" is unbeatable, and with four kids in school it was nice to be able to take them to the doctor or stay home with sick kids, go on field trips, etc...

Good luck and welcome to nursing. And give mom a break - she will always have the right to love you and worry about you. I keep trying to tell my kids that us moms have earned that right just by having to be pregnant and go through labor. I get lots of eye rolls for though. :)

tencat · Mar 11, 2009

Gosh, I couldn't WAIT to move out of my parents' house.....and I think I would have sold myself on the street before I'd have gone back......must be nice to actually LIKE one's parents....

Ok, I understand why she's a bit peeved as it is hard to keep everyone quiet during the day. But if it's going to be that much trouble, why don't you move out?

sharpeimom · Mar 11, 2009

Keep reminding yourself that a great part of why your mom is acting as she is right now is because she loves you so much and -- let's face it -- you're still her little girl, in much the same way my dad grabbed my hand when we crossed the street as long as he lived. If you can remember that, it will go a long way toward reducing your angst and it will diminish with time. I started working 11-7 1000 miles from home in Chicago when my mom was a brand new widow and visited me about 6 weeks later and was aghast when I headed to the laundromat at 12:30 am after work. Well, she'd said we'd do whatever I'd do had she not been there. The next day, I had a brand new washer and dryer! They really were crammed into my tiny bathroom but the trade-off was that my mom felt I was safer. Do I sound ungrateful? At that point, I would rather have had the space... We both adjusted as time went on. Getting your place would help a lot, even if it has a roommate or two because that way you can come and go, eat what and when you want, stay up and watch TV Land or MSNBC when you get home, date whomever you please and keep your own crazy schedule and she'll just have to deal with it. It will be the beginning of you two becoming friends on an adult basis (most of the time) and not just mother and little girl which is a pretty neat kind of relationship!! Everyone of us goes through this at some point. It's just part of the maturational process we all endure. Hugs.:icon_hug:

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Mar 11, 2009

I find that having a box fan in my room turned on high drowns out a lot of noise. If it is the noise issue that your mom is worried about,,, the only thing she might not be able to do is vacuum. You can get dark curtains, turn on the fan, shut the door, and surely your mom wouldn't normally be so noisy that it would wake you.. lol

Also, it doesn't really cost that much to live on your own if you have a roomate.. or even if you rent a one bedroom apt.. it's really not that bad.. then you will be able to have that relationship with your mother.. the one where you are a responsible adult and she is your mother but she doesn't tell you what to do anymore? :)

bagladyrn, RN · Mar 11, 2009

To help give your mom some perspective, you may want to show her the numerous posts on here of new grads who are having such a tough time even finding a position - on any shift.

I did this with my mother when she couldn't understand why I couldn't come back to FL for a travel contract: I had her go online and look at the jobs listings for the various hospital systems in FL - both permanent and temp. I really opened her eyes and she is much more supportive now. It also shows that no matter how old you are they are still going to act like "mom" :)

Mexarican · Mar 11, 2009

Hi! I am a new graduate in a MICU at my hospital. I signed up for nights becuase that was the only time available i could have for ICU, I don't mind though because I'm a night owl and I think it will faciliate my learning better since things maybe slower. My mother is concerned with me working at night though (I'm only 21, but I live at home b/c I'm trying to save for grad school). Right now I'm still on days because I'm still in orientation, but once I'm off I'll be on nights. She was fine with it, but now I think she's coming to the realization that my orientation will be ending soon and she wants me to stay on days. I can't seem to shake this thought from her to try to convince me to go to the day shift. Can anyone give me any advice to make my mom feel more comfortable about going to nights?

"Mom, I'm 21 and this is my job" Discussion is over...

Mex

CCURN87 · Mar 11, 2009

thanks everyone for your information and support! Noise during the day doesn't bother me, i can sleep through a hurricane if you let me, so i don't think sleeping during the day will be a big problem. But as much as I would like to move out, i'm trying to save for grad school. I was going to rely on loans, but with the way the economy is going, i'm trying to save becuase there may not be loans left for when i want to go to school....yikes!

travelerjo · Mar 11, 2009

I would tell my mother I understand her concerns, but then explain how incredibly lucky you are to have the opportunity you have. If you pass up an ICU position as a brand new grad just because it's at night, you'd be crazy. I am, unfortunately, one of those new grads who is still unemployed b/c I have no experience, and I would give anything to have your opportunity. Buck up little camper, you're an adult now.

lpn2icu · Mar 11, 2009

Can you tell your mother that as a new grad, you have no other choices?

RN BSN 2009 · Mar 11, 2009

Let her know it won't always be a night shift. Once you gain experience you can push for those afternoon shifts.

Time to untie the apron strings!

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Mar 11, 2009

Keep in mind that your mother could make her unhappiness known by making lots of noise when you are sleeping, then and pulling the "it's my house" card if you complain. That's what my mother did. Be prepared to move out.