How do you deal with the rude nurses you encounter at the work place? Usually I am fine and I just shrug off the occasional snide comment or eye roll. Most of the time I take it as an opportunity to learn because I understand that not all feedback is "constructive." But, it is only one particular person on my unit who engages in this unprofessional behavior. And, what really gets me is no one says anything to her. She was very disrespectful to me in front of a few other nurses at the nurse's station today. If I too engaged in unprofessional behavior like hers I would have stuck up for myself. However, I just can't get myself to engage in that kind of drama at work because I would feel unprofessional and usually don't have time. Other nurses give me a sympathetic smile, but no one says anything. I am really beginning to resent her. Not only resent her, but I fear giving shift report to her because I know she is going to have some rude comment about some aspect of my care (the IV fluids are less than ½ full, the chart is not in the pull down, I didn't choose her first to give report to so now she is waiting for me while I give report to someone else etc.) For example, today my patient died 5 minutes before change of shift. I got orders to release the body, called the family, fixed the pt up in bed and started the post-mortum paperwork. I am new and another nurse was helping me fill out the paper work. I did not call the donor line as change of shift was starting as I was doing the other tasks that needed to get done. I asked the nurse (who was helping me with the paperwork) if this was appropriate and let the charge know how far I had gotten on the paper work so she could alter assignments accordingly. I passed this pt off to the nurse as it was going to be one of her patients. It was not an extra pt for her. She had the same number as all others on the floor. She flipped when I told her I had not called the donor line. Rolled her eyes, stomped her feet, grunted and flew over to the desk. I followed and asked if she would like me to stay after to fill out the paper work for her and she shouted, "Just leave." I keep replaying the incident wondering what I could have done differently. I want to be on good terms with all who I work with, but I don't want to stick around after my shift has ended because I am scared of one nurse's temper. I know she had one task to do on this pt, but that was ALL she had to do. No VS, no assessment, no medications, no procedures, no orders etc. The family planned on staying for at least 3-4 hours (so no new admit coming). And, the caregivers take the body down to the morgue. Would you approach her next time and ask how I could have acted differently in the situation? Or would you let it go? I doubt myself in these situations sometimes wondering if I acted appropriately. Do you think I was wrong to pass it off to her? Any feedback is appreciated.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
You've got some fantastic advice here, Sameyjaney! I can't think of anything to add but I would like to tell you from my own personal experience those techniques really work--- and the sense of freedom and confidence you feel by taking away that person's ability to control you is so worth it. It will make it easier to deal with when the next one comes along, too. Best wishes to you!! :)
. As far as things like a half a bag of iv fluids, simply remind her how wasteful it is to throw it out and direct her to where the fluids are kept and tell her she can get a new bag when they are done.
LOVE IT!!! HA HA!!! "Direct her to where fluids are kept...":yeah: And seriously...wasting resources is unacceptable, especially in a case of convenience like this.
I agree with another previous poster. This person sounds like a bully. Google "Bullying in the workplace" for all kinds of strategies to deal with this type of behavior. The worst bullies are often narcissistic and even anti-social so IMHO it is probably unrealistic to expect that they will change, but there are some really good suggestions out there for coping and circumventing attack. KUDOS to you for not "wallowing in the muck" right along with this person. Remember, it's not about you....especially if this person treats everyone this way. Continue to treat this person as you would want to be treated when you must interact. Others will see this and, I would think, come to quickly respect the "new kid" as a professional colleague. I am a newbie (and a new grad too!) at my workplace and I try to remind myself that if I get tunnel-vision in moments where I feel condescension and disdain and react in any way other than a professional manner, then I may miss whomever else may be watching, and make a fool of myself. If this person has a history of this behavior, then no one is going to be surprised by it, but if you are new, they SHOULD have no pre-conceived notions about you. A previous poster said that you teach people how to treat you, which I have always attributed to Dr. Phil. Another "Dr. Phil-ism" that I love is "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." The way you respond today becomes your past behavior. When you respond with grace under fire, then people will trust that you will do so again, and believe me....others are watching. Hang in there...
When I started at my facility we had one nurse that would put the "new" nurses through the ringer. I was very new, a new grad RN in fact. This didn't help as my facility was touting how they were going to be hiring RN's in liu of LPN's.
Talk about walking into a hostile environment. I was not about to get into an LPN vs RN war...in no way was I going to flout my 2 yr degree so new the ink wasn't dry vs in most cases 15+ years of floor experience.
The one nurse who seemed to single out new nurses was an LPN, but to her credit her attitude was spread evenly among new LPN's and RN's alike.
For two months I put up with it.
I found out she counted meds and tx supplies to see if they were being giving and used. I was accused of not giving a tx because her supply count was over (I had used supplies from a tx cart from another unit) and showed her my documentation and the dated dressings (which I retrieved from the trash just to show her).
She seemed to relish chart checks to make notes on med errors for the managers to see, not just flag them so the nurs ein question could make corrections if it was just a missed initials.
Giving report to her was like pulling teeth. She would ask me questions about patients that was common knowledge and I felt like i was always being tested.
I put up with snide comments, being cut off in report with "whatever, if you don't know you don't know, next patient"...
One night after a very hard shift I was short tempered, discouraged, and not looking forward to reporting off to her. I was giving report and didnt pronounce a pt's name correctly and she corrected me and said how she couldn't stand how some nurses don't pronounce names right...I lost it.
I asked her what in the hell did I do to her or anyone else in the facility to deserve the crap i was having to put up with. One shocked look later, and an uncomfortable silence, I resumed report and she didnt say a word.
Since then we have become good collegues. I respect her for her knowledge and have learned a lot from her. She is one of my go to people when I have a question about procedures. Recently, she actually came to me and asked for my opinion about a pt wound issue. I thought it was a trap, another chance to show me how new I was, but she honetly wanted my opinion...and she used it, then the MD on call verified it was right. One of my best nights ever.
After I had my blow up the other nurses started treating me better as well. They let me in on the fact that dealing with that particular nurse was a right of passage for new nurses and once you had your say with her you were accepted. We still conk heads sometimes, but it's as fellow nurses, not newbie vs experienced nurse. I am not encouraging "blowing up" at rude co-workers, it can backfire, but what I do encourage is standing up for yourself and expecting others to give the same amount of respect you do.
The stamping feet and eye rolling are childish. I would tell her that you are there in a professional capacity, and that you will resume report when she is through throwing a fit. I would start quoting policy (regarding shift change, new IV fluid bags, and JCAHO's stance on professional communication). Don't allow this person to get away from it. Just calmly shut her down each time. This denies her the reaction she is hoping for.
I feel through reading these posts I am reading my own personal experiences with the nasty attitude of other nurses when report time. That I really dread giving report to them, but I just know in my heart that I do my best, and do whatever I can in my shift.
I started carrying around gum in my pocket in case I ran into nasty behavior. I would hand the rude individual a piece of gum while saying something in joking sort of way, and telling them to cheer up. Usually the person would step back, apologize, and we would go on.
Clever.
I like it.
How can somebody be nasty when they are being offered a little cheer and something sweet?
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
How do you deal with the rude nurses you encounter at the work place? Usually I am fine and I just shrug off the occasional snide comment or eye roll. Most of the time I take it as an opportunity to learn because I understand that not all feedback is "constructive." But, it is only one particular person on my unit who engages in this unprofessional behavior. And, what really gets me is no one says anything to her. She was very disrespectful to me in front of a few other nurses at the nurse's station today. If I too engaged in unprofessional behavior like hers I would have stuck up for myself. However, I just can't get myself to engage in that kind of drama at work because I would feel unprofessional and usually don't have time. Other nurses give me a sympathetic smile, but no one says anything. I am really beginning to resent her. Not only resent her, but I fear giving shift report to her because I know she is going to have some rude comment about some aspect of my care (the IV fluids are less than ½ full, the chart is not in the pull down, I didn't choose her first to give report to so now she is waiting for me while I give report to someone else etc.) For example, today my patient died 5 minutes before change of shift. I got orders to release the body, called the family, fixed the pt up in bed and started the post-mortum paperwork. I am new and another nurse was helping me fill out the paper work. I did not call the donor line as change of shift was starting as I was doing the other tasks that needed to get done. I asked the nurse (who was helping me with the paperwork) if this was appropriate and let the charge know how far I had gotten on the paper work so she could alter assignments accordingly. I passed this pt off to the nurse as it was going to be one of her patients. It was not an extra pt for her. She had the same number as all others on the floor. She flipped when I told her I had not called the donor line. Rolled her eyes, stomped her feet, grunted and flew over to the desk. I followed and asked if she would like me to stay after to fill out the paper work for her and she shouted, "Just leave." I keep replaying the incident wondering what I could have done differently. I want to be on good terms with all who I work with, but I don't want to stick around after my shift has ended because I am scared of one nurse's temper. I know she had one task to do on this pt, but that was ALL she had to do. No VS, no assessment, no medications, no procedures, no orders etc. The family planned on staying for at least 3-4 hours (so no new admit coming). And, the caregivers take the body down to the morgue. Would you approach her next time and ask how I could have acted differently in the situation? Or would you let it go? I doubt myself in these situations sometimes wondering if I acted appropriately. Do you think I was wrong to pass it off to her? Any feedback is appreciated.
This is why i thank my lucky stars every day that i am a hospice nurse--in my car alone; i drive to the patient, fix the problem, get the heck out of dodge, and do not have to deal with other nurses usually. And this, after suffering with the same crap you describe for 15 years in acute care. Hospice is not as punitive as acute care.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Lateral violence, also known as horizontal abuse or violence, is the disruptive, disrespectful or antagonistic behavior of others on the same hierarchical level within an organization. Lateral violence, in essence, is abusive acts committed against people you work with; people just like you who are making a living doing something they (hopefully) enjoy, and who are doing the best they can.
People use lateral violence as a means to manipulate, dominate, control and diminish others. Bad behavior against anyone is bad behavior. In a professional environment, you should be trying to be, well, professional. And at home with your loved ones, well, you should be loving.
Abusive acts are often committed without awareness. People don't know the impact their behavior has on others. For this reason, you must operate from the perspective that people don't know what they are doing. They don't know better or they would behave better. By adopting this philosophy, it is easier to forgive yourself and others when they - or you - behave badly. It enables you to address the behavior with less stress and accept more easily when others confront you on your stuff.
We are all in this life thing together, after all. We are mirrors for one another and if I do something wrong, I will only know it through the impact it has - IF I pay attention. Sometimes, I won't know the impact until someone tells me. Then I can make adjustments and behave differently in order to achieve different results. People long to be wonderful and fabulous. They want to be their best. Don't you? I know I do!
But sometimes we do silly things and we don't always know why. When we help each other to be better human beings by sharing with each other what works and what doesn't, we learn ways to improve.
I agree with DaveyDo and I like the gum from coolpeach.....but I would end with the "Are you done now" from CrunchRN.......I would also engage your manager/charge sooner rather than later about how bad she makes you fell....sometimes.....rarely...people don't know how they come acroos and sometimes the manager is just waiting for that final straw.......
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
When I started at my facility we had one nurse that would put the "new" nurses through the ringer. I was very new, a new grad RN in fact. This didn't help as my facility was touting how they were going to be hiring RN's in liu of LPN's.
Talk about walking into a hostile environment. I was not about to get into an LPN vs RN war...in no way was I going to flout my 2 yr degree so new the ink wasn't dry vs in most cases 15+ years of floor experience.
The one nurse who seemed to single out new nurses was an LPN, but to her credit her attitude was spread evenly among new LPN's and RN's alike.
For two months I put up with it.
I found out she counted meds and tx supplies to see if they were being giving and used. I was accused of not giving a tx because her supply count was over (I had used supplies from a tx cart from another unit) and showed her my documentation and the dated dressings (which I retrieved from the trash just to show her).
She seemed to relish chart checks to make notes on med errors for the managers to see, not just flag them so the nurs ein question could make corrections if it was just a missed initials.
Giving report to her was like pulling teeth. She would ask me questions about patients that was common knowledge and I felt like i was always being tested.
I put up with snide comments, being cut off in report with "whatever, if you don't know you don't know, next patient"...
One night after a very hard shift I was short tempered, discouraged, and not looking forward to reporting off to her. I was giving report and didnt pronounce a pt's name correctly and she corrected me and said how she couldn't stand how some nurses don't pronounce names right...I lost it.
I asked her what in the hell did I do to her or anyone else in the facility to deserve the crap i was having to put up with. One shocked look later, and an uncomfortable silence, I resumed report and she didnt say a word.
Since then we have become good collegues. I respect her for her knowledge and have learned a lot from her. She is one of my go to people when I have a question about procedures. Recently, she actually came to me and asked for my opinion about a pt wound issue. I thought it was a trap, another chance to show me how new I was, but she honetly wanted my opinion...and she used it, then the MD on call verified it was right. One of my best nights ever.
After I had my blow up the other nurses started treating me better as well. They let me in on the fact that dealing with that particular nurse was a right of passage for new nurses and once you had your say with her you were accepted. We still conk heads sometimes, but it's as fellow nurses, not newbie vs experienced nurse. I am not encouraging "blowing up" at rude co-workers, it can backfire, but what I do encourage is standing up for yourself and expecting others to give the same amount of respect you do.
Right. I had the same problem with a young upstart who was rude to me while showing off to a nurse she was precepting--she rolled her eyes repeatedly, interrupted constantly, just had an overall bad attitude while i was giving report. Well, i had quite a rotten day as charge nurse, with a load of patients to boot, so i just looked at her and said, "You know, i see what you are doing, and i am way too important and sophisticated to be treated this way. Don't interrupt me during report, don't roll your eyes at me like that, and don't ever show off in front of a new nurse; i won't be treated like this by anybody!" I loudly told her these things. She insisted she didn't know what i was talking about, but apologized. After that she was all over me like flies on horse-sh*t; hanging around me all the time; and never again did she interrupt during report. Needless to say, i never really liked her after that, just did the loving something or other that one of the posters mentioned.
and take a lesson from the passive agressive side of the fence. As long as she was rude to me, I would leave her until last for report off. I would do much less before I gave her the patient report (leave her a reasonable amount of work to do. The more she complained, the happpier I'd be...if I am so lazy and such a screw up, well dumb lil me can't possibly do the job you can. I'd spend my time busting my butt for the ones who appreciate me and say thank you.
I would make a concerned statement each time she rolled her eyes. Are you having trouble with your contacts? I see you're having difficulty with your eyes? (or dry eyes.) Same with the angry huffs. Oh do you have allergies, asthma..
you sound like your having trouble breathing...Constant interuptions with abrupt critical questions? I was getting to that before you interupted me. Or, here's the chart you can look it up while I talk. If she bursts out in an angry tirade, do not look ashamed or abashed, if she dashes off to the desk to complain, move on, give report to the next person, then say, oh, I thought we were finished..you walked away.
Make a pretend phone call, use the restroom even if you don't have to...If she complains to the boss, keep a record of what "work" you left undone for her.
Note the number of times she interupts you or rolls her eyes huffs or record her.
(this has worked wonders for me. You know I learn so much from you during report, I'm going to record it, so I can review it later to improve my skills)
No one wants to be caught being mean, if they do, shows how out of control they are and it makes it easy to defend yourself to the Unit mgr.
nursel56
7,122 Posts
You've got some fantastic advice here, Sameyjaney! I can't think of anything to add but I would like to tell you from my own personal experience those techniques really work--- and the sense of freedom and confidence you feel by taking away that person's ability to control you is so worth it. It will make it easier to deal with when the next one comes along, too. Best wishes to you!! :)