Nerves Are Shot!

Published

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

I am on vacation this week, and already, I am regretting that this week will be over and I'll be back to the grind on Monday. I sit here shaking sometimes, sad the next and ready to cry. There is a fine line between trying to take care of the needs of the patients, complying to stupid rules and making serious attempts to keep our sanity.

We deal with a high volume of illegal immigrants and poor people who literally have no clue about health care. It is so crowded in the waiting area. Each morning I walk in, I see LINES and LINES of people...some in walkers, wheelchairs, elderly, people bringing in their pre-school aged children to interpet for them, many are argumentative, many are really sick. By the time I get behind the door, nurses are running like insane rabbits trying to see them. By the time the patient gets to us, they are tired, disillusioned, angry, argumentative, placing blame on us. Cognitively, I know that they are unaware of what really goes on behind the scenes of the hospital. But, it doesn't make it easier to deal with them cursing us out. I cannot control the lines, or all of the mess, but I do have to try and practice safely. In fact, the more rushed I feel, the more I HAVE to slow down, before I make a mistake that I cannot take back.

It is hard to try and explain to a person that they are hypertensive or diabetic when they literally do not know that they have blood flowing through their veins (no exaggeration, folks). Sometimes, giving even the simplest explanation confuses them even more. Plenty of times, when I use the language hotline, the phone interpeters have told us that there is nothing they can do for us because this person has no concept of what they are talking about. Many of them do not know their birthdates (some of their countries don't consider this to be important), not even their addresses. Many will tell the interpeters that they do not want to have a phone translator, they want someone in person(...yeah, right...like this will happen quickly). A simple thing like a flu shot that should take ten minutes tops can be a situation that draws out for over one hour. Then, after all of that, to experience this AGAIN with about 10 more people. It can drain your energy to the toilet in two hours. I try to remember that these are someone's mother, father, sister, parent, brother, friend, clergyman, etc...but it is hard. Sometimes, I just want to run for the hills. Sometimes, it looks like a third world country walking in there, and many times, I have had to walk away from people in mid sentence before I say something that I can't take back. And management says to give it your ALL. If I did that, I would have nothing left.

When work is over, I don't want to socialize very often...I want to go straight home to bed. Read about something other than illness and nursing. Read romance, street novels, look at reality TV... I take a cab home each night to avoid more personalities and interactions with people because they are so draining. I have small rituals of pacing the floor each morning to stomp out my plantar faciitis and say to myself "You can do this". I walk out, feel the air, and from then, it is an adrenaline rush to make it back home to safety.

Thanks for listening to me vent guys. And, you all have helped by just existing and reading that I am not the only nurse that feels this way. Thank you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg.

Thanks for sharing a day in the life of Pagandeva2000.........sounds extremely frustrating.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I do this also.Everytime I take vacation I worry about"how much time I have left".It is such a good thing when we get away!! It is supposed to be stress relieving,but by the time its over,I am a basket case.I always have too much on the agenda for that time period too.I also feel this way when I have a day off.Sometimes I think I would be better and more productive at home if I just never had a day off....Oh well, just enjoy yourself and relax.:tbsk:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Why don't you look for another job? All jobs have good and bad, but yours sounds extreme. It is frustrating when people live in this country and dont speak the language. I would think its scary to have health problems and not the knowledge to comprehend. Best of luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU/ER.

I know it does not help you now, but I hope you know that to some people you literally are their angel.:bowingpur

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your time off. I do understand what you are saying, and I don't have any answers for any of us. (((HUG)))

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in oncology, trauma, home health.

Thanks for sharing a typical day for you. I know what you mean about avoiding people on days off and getting lost in nonsense books and reality tv. I often wonder if people with "normal" lives also feel the anxiety of work that I do? It feels like the stress of nursing school just carried itself over to work. Relax this week, try not to count down!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg, HH, Tele, Geriatrics, Psych.

It is hard to try and explain to a person that they are hypertensive or diabetic when they literally do not know that they have blood flowing through their veins (no exaggeration, folks). Sometimes, giving even the simplest explanation confuses them even more.

.

I have worked with patients like this also. But the ones that I work with speak English because they were born and reared here, as were their parents. One entire family once insisted that the dressing on grandma's foot was leaking because her IV fluids were going straight through her body and out the hole in grandma's foot, which was covered by said dressing! :rolleyes:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
Why don't you look for another job? All jobs have good and bad, but yours sounds extreme. It is frustrating when people live in this country and dont speak the language. I would think its scary to have health problems and not the knowledge to comprehend. Best of luck.

Unfortunately, that is not an option right now. I worked at this job for going on 11 years, and they sponsored my education to become a nurse. For 2 and 1/2 years, I was on a paid leave of absence along with tuition pay to become an LPN. We are on contract to remain at this job for at least 3 years or the contract will be in default, and I would owe the balance of the money. People have been sent to collections behind moves such as that. In fact, there is a CNA who didn't do well, and they took close to $300 biweekly from her. She quit, moved to another state, and from what I understand, is attending nursing school at her new location. She told me she will worry about the money later on. Also, there is a job freeze at this time, for this city hospital. If I were to leave (even under normal circumstances-no contract), and things didn't work out, I could possibly lose my seniority.

Actually, I am well respected at this place, even as an LPN, because I do care about what I do, and I don't have a difficult time, per se with co-workers or management (which is a plus). As a new nurse, I was not faced with working on the floors where the situation is even worse, and I do have a bit more independence and respect as a practical nurse employed in the clinic rather than my counterparts that are working the floors. They are really working with me to gain experience, and at this moment, I am using this contract wisely by trying to obtain skills in case I do decide to make a run for it once the contract is up. I plan to work per diem as a telemetry nurse, and am making negotiations to make that happen.

What bothers me is that I try to do my best, because I keep thinking; What if this were myself or my husband or son seeking care? Would I want to be ignored or disregarded? That is what keeps me trying for the moment, but that is slowly waning. I do plan to see a podiatrist tomorrow to treat the foot pain, get the shoes that I will make him suggest (smile), and will do what I can to bring some sense into my life.

Not only do we deal with a great many of immigrants, we also deal with angry poor people. Not criticizing them, because I am basically one paycheck from them, myself. But, it is not easy dealing with them, and so many others who really don't comprehend or who just hand their power over to others to be responsible for their health. Hard stuff.

Thanks all of you for your wonderful words of support!:heartbeat:redbeathe

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I have worked with patients like this also. But the ones that I work with speak English because they were born and reared here, as were their parents. One entire family once insisted that the dressing on grandma's foot was leaking because her IV fluids were going straight through her body and out the hole in grandma's foot, which was covered by said dressing! :rolleyes:

Sheeezzz...so, I guess that if they poked a hole in her, she would leak all over the floor, huh...sigh.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Here's a hug, Pagandeva. (((((HUG))))) :icon_hug:

Be assured that you can always come here for support!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

God bless us, everyone.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment