So.... I'm returning to nursing after a long break.
It's cool, I get it I am the "new guy" and need to prove my competence again. But I really hate it when a provider just has to throw out the digs to put you "in your place." I hate my deer in the headlights response even more.
I'm really a competent, pretty likable, non assuming person. I don't want to start assuming there's an a ****** lurking beneath the surface of those I have to work with but I'm getting weary of being blindsided by snarky comments.
I just need a few non passive aggressive responses to tuck away to pull out so I can work my way past the snark and move on.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
Snark is just a low-class one-liner. Its power is in catching you off-guard; loses potency with repetition. Next time a zinger comes your way, make earnest eye contact and say "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Please say that again." If the snark is repeated: "Really? Did you mean for it to sound that snarky?"
Think of yourself as the adult in the room (because you are). How else would you take a child to task for inappropriate behaviour?
Answer a remark with a question. Every time. Snarky comment...reply why do you think that? or Why would you say something so unprofessional? or Do you think that's appropriate for the ward? Or Do you have any evidence for that? Just take a deep breath, wait a moment, take your time and then calmly ask a question. It shows you've noticed what they've said and won't just let it go.
I really felt quite tame and appropriate compared to some of the other current uncensored threads going on at the moment.
Reading your responses here make me think this won't work for you but I would go with genuine vulnerable responses (I don't think you'll do vulnerable based on what seem to be defensive responses here).
"That tone feels like a slap, please explain what you want."
"I want to understand how you like things done but the way you're demanding it unnerving."
"I'm trying to get everyone's way of doing things, please have patience while I'm learning."
You're asking for ways to give a snotty one-liner to people who you feel are being snarky to you...
You have dressed-down complete strangers in this thread who have simply asked for examples of what you mean - as if they're supposed to have some clear insight into your personal interactions. Instead of treating them like buffoons for not knowing what exactly you're talking about, you could have easily said "well, the other day I asked X question, and was given Y response... It Happens all the time!" - rather, you chose to ridicule someone for not knowing what your vague complaint on an anonymous thread meant.
You have given many responses to people on here that pretty clearly show you are the problem and you are definitely causing people to react to you this way. I have no idea who you are, but despite thinking you are the most polite person on the planet, you have personally caused multiple complete strangers (myself now included) to give a negative opinion of you on here - and your response every time has been snarky.
I would venture a guess at this point that you don't need help responding with/to snarky comments - you're here actually looking for MORE snarky comments because you've used up your supply on everybody you work with and need fresh material.
Whether you like it or not, and even though you're going to respond visciously because I dared tell the most polite person who ever lived that she is indeed the problem - you are the problem. It is not the people you're working with.
You're asking for ways to give a snotty one-liner to people who you feel are being snarky to you...
You have dressed-down complete strangers in this thread who have simply asked for examples of what you mean - as if they're supposed to have some clear insight into your personal interactions. Instead of treating them like buffoons for not knowing what exactly you're talking about, you could have easily said "well, the other day I asked X question, and was given Y response... It Happens all the time!" - rather, you chose to ridicule someone for not knowing what your vague complaint on an anonymous thread meant.
You have given many responses to people on here that pretty clearly show you are the problem and you are definitely causing people to react to you this way. I have no idea who you are, but despite thinking you are the most polite person on the planet, you have personally caused multiple complete strangers (myself now included) to give a negative opinion of you on here - and your response every time has been snarky.
I would venture a guess at this point that you don't need help responding with/to snarky comments - you're here actually looking for MORE snarky comments because you've used up your supply on everybody you work with and need fresh material.
Whether you like it or not, and even though you're going to respond visciously because I dared tell the most polite person who ever lived that she is indeed the problem - you are the problem. It is not the people you're working with.
I think you're reading way too much emotion into anything I've ever written. Or maybe I'm not using enough happy emoticons?
But I am curious where do you get that I was asking for "more snarky comments"? And where was I being viscious in response to anyone? I'm sincerely asking because you certainly have a strong opinion, viscious is pretty bad.
If I've used up all my snark at work I'm in real trouble because I've never had a response of any kind other than a dazed stare. I'll say it again though, I am not looking for snark, I'm wanting to diffuse snark without rolling over and being gutted in the process.
Answer a remark with a question. Every time. Snarky comment...reply why do you think that? or Why would you say something so unprofessional? or Do you think that's appropriate for the ward? Or Do you have any evidence for that? Just take a deep breath, wait a moment, take your time and then calmly ask a question. It shows you've noticed what they've said and won't just let it go.
I can do that! Thank you! Gonna work on visualizing that right now :)
Reading your responses here make me think this won't work for you but I would go with genuine vulnerable responses (I don't think you'll do vulnerable based on what seem to be defensive responses here).
"That tone feels like a slap, please explain what you want."
"I want to understand how you like things done but the way you're demanding it unnerving."
"I'm trying to get everyone's way of doing things, please have patience while I'm learning."
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
I too had a long lay off from work and returned to a hospital setting this year - Most folks were just glad to see me back but when anyone made a rude or snarky remark I just ignore it. It's a universal axiom that nothing can disturb you unless you allow it to. If you are receiving a lot o such comments I would look to see I you are doing something that invites it. The best practice is to always be calmly and competantly professional. Shuts them down every time.
I too had a long lay off from work and returned to a hospital setting this year - Most folks were just glad to see me back but when anyone made a rude or snarky remark I just ignore it. It's a universal axiom that nothing can disturb you unless you allow it to. If you are receiving a lot o such comments I would look to see I you are doing something that invites it. The best practice is to always be calmly and competantly professional. Shuts them down every time.
Hppy
Thanks Hppy, I'm glad you're back to work and people are being kind. :)
I have to say that I LOVE my new coworkers. It's pretty great to find a group of people this large getting along and getting it done. Thankfully I'm not receiving a lot of snarky comments. It's just the random stuff that anyone (and especially the new guy) would get, and it just catches me off guard. I guess if I just was expecting to be snapped at when a provider is stressed or in a bad mood it wouldn't catch me by surprise. My last job (which was non nursing) we all stepped all over ourselves in consideration and politeness. Then again we weren't dealing with high intensity life and death stress. Guess I just need to "suck it up buttercup"...put my big girl panties on and focus on the good stuff. :)
Thank you! Gonna work on visualizing that right now :)
TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
Snark is just a low-class one-liner. Its power is in catching you off-guard; loses potency with repetition. Next time a zinger comes your way, make earnest eye contact and say "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't catch that. Please say that again." If the snark is repeated: "Really? Did you mean for it to sound that snarky?"
Think of yourself as the adult in the room (because you are). How else would you take a child to task for inappropriate behaviour?