Need Advice - People Asking for advice..

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Specializes in Cardiac Stepdown and CVSICU.

as an rn student and new lpn one of the things i did not expect is people to start asking me for advice as soon as i got my lpn license. i do not, can not and think i should not be giving any advice; i don't even have my first nursing job yet. the few people who have asked generally accept my standard answer: you should call your primary. then there is my mother.

my mother and i have had a very rocky history as she has so many issues that a few years ago, i realized that her issues were not my own and i refuse to let her manipulate me or guilt me into doing things for her anymore. well, since getting my lpn, she has one medical "crisis" after another...and she calls me at all hours "on death's doorstep". i know it is only for attention but there is always this part of me that wonders if one day, she'll really be sick and i blow it off. when i tell her to call her primary, she always has a reason she can't or won't and wants me to drive the 100 miles to another state to "check her out"...

has anyone else experienced this from family and how do you get people to stop asking for medical advice. i know it will get worse after i get my rn, so i want to figure out how to nip it in the bud now. :o

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

Fortunately, I don't have that problem ... but it sounds as if you have a good understanding of your situation. Don't get in the habit of giving anything but the most general of advice. Refer people to their PCP's.

As for you Mom, you'll just have to be firm with her. She is a big girl and will have to deal with her health problems (real or imaginary) through her PCP like everyone else. Don't let her emotional problems ruin your life.

Good luck to you.

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Specializes in LTC , SDC and MDS certified (3.0).

I wish my mother would call me she had suffered with the shingles for over a month and she hates narcotics, if she had called me I would have told her to ask for neurotin. She'll start to explain somethingand loose her words and I'll finish and she'll go 'yea" all surprised. I laugh and tell her I did go to school that day!! Sorry I can't help you and apparently I can't help my mom either

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

A good response is to advise the person to be seen by a medical professional. Tell the family member that they need to see their primary care provider in order to be properly diagnosed.

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Specializes in Cardiac Stepdown and CVSICU.

saying go see your pcp generally works for most people, but my mother...i get the guilt trip from hell like i don't care about her, blah, blah, blah....i will continue to send her to the doctor though.

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Specializes in Float.

It was funny riding up on the elevator at work last week a person said "so is there a nurse nurse in here" I didn't say anything because I had just passed boards and don't have a license number and figured it was something I didn't want to answer..plus I was running late lol. So this other nurse said "yea I am" and the woman said "oh good can you tell me what's wrong with my arm?" and the nurse just shook her haid no. I said "um I think you need a doctor doctor" lol

I would just tell people "I'm sorry I'm not trained to diagnose people. Even doctors usually need to run some tests"

Shoot... most people even need at least a few doctors when they are in the hospital. One day I asked a doctor about a new admits breathing tx at home and did he want them reordered and he said "sorry I'm the GI doctor, I don't know about breathing treatment stuff" so there ya go lol.

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Even as a nursing student I find I get a lot of these. It is my opinion that 99% of these people just want to be heard.

Listen. That is something you can ALWAYS do (even with patients . . . and patience). After they've said everything down to the last wart and mole, then say, "I just couldn't say. Don't you think the doctor needs to take a look?"

Quickly, they back off and go away. You have spoken the truth. You have given them what they really wanted all along, which was your ear. "I just couldn't say" are magic words. Funny thing is, they'll hear "I don't know" while you are thinking "I'd never tell."

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My grandmother was like that; called several times a week asking for medical advice not only for her, but practically everyone on that side of the family and her friends to boot...

I just kept repeating the same response over and over and over...

"You [or whomever] need to call your doctor"

I adamantly refused to say anything else, ever. After a while (and it did take a while), she stopped.

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Specializes in LTC/ rehab/ dialysis.

I empathize with you. My mother, however, would not ask me for advice because I am "only an LPN". Her words. She will, however, seek medical advise from a friend of hers who is a retired CNA who has not worked in her profession for over ten years. What ever makes her happy, I guess. A lot of the people that I socialize with are nurses, so I really haven't really had to deal with the issue of other people seeking advice.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
As an RN student and new LPN one of the things I did not expect is people to start asking me for advice as soon as I got my LPN license. I do not, can not and think I should not be giving any advice;

I hate that when people ask for "medical" advice and that is exactly what it is, "medical".

Just sound like a broken record, esp,. for your 100 mi away mother: "If you are worried, you need to call 911, or see your doctor in the morning. I'm not allowed to give medical advice." Eventually she may get the hint.

Any siblings near her home who can help get this thru her head?

I can't imagine getting those kinds of calls :( It's almost like the kid having temper tantrums when what they really want is attention? Maybe if you call her at times other than when she is sick, she won't feel so needy. Positive reinforcement in other words; attention given when she is NOT sick.

GOOD LUCK!

Mothers ... ;)

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I hate that when people ask for "medical" advice and that is exactly what it is, "medical"...

I meant to say too - people usually ask questions about areas I'm not familiar with, ie peds, OB, etc. "It's not my area" is not usually a response that inspires them to ask me anymore questions, ha ha!

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as an rn student and new lpn one of the things i did not expect is people to start asking me for advice as soon as i got my lpn license. i do not, can not and think i should not be giving any advice; i don't even have my first nursing job yet. the few people who have asked generally accept my standard answer: you should call your primary. then there is my mother.

my mother and i have had a very rocky history as she has so many issues that a few years ago, i realized that her issues were not my own and i refuse to let her manipulate me or guilt me into doing things for her anymore. well, since getting my lpn, she has one medical "crisis" after another...and she calls me at all hours "on death's doorstep". i know it is only for attention but there is always this part of me that wonders if one day, she'll really be sick and i blow it off. when i tell her to call her primary, she always has a reason she can't or won't and wants me to drive the 100 miles to another state to "check her out"...

has anyone else experienced this from family and how do you get people to stop asking for medical advice. i know it will get worse after i get my rn, so i want to figure out how to nip it in the bud now. :o

yes just last night my friend called me to ask me for advice, i also have another friend that calls me all the time to ask for advice. i just graduated i dont have any experience, although i was able to hlp them i still felt like sayin "what do you think i am a doctor!! i dont mind it that much im actually flattered but if for some reason i am not helpfull i feel bad. but i did learn from all their questions, because if i did not know the answer i always lokked it up afterwards just in cse i am asked that again and to learn. so al in all i guess its not that bad.

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