My Inside Does Not Match My Outside

My eight hour shift at the nursing home has ended, so off I walk to my pickup truck for the monotonous ride home. Driving into my yard it takes every bit of energy to carry myself into the house. Hobbling along I manage to clear the doorstep and flop into my recliner with a big sigh of relief. As I remove my white lace- up orthopedic nursing shoes and take off my socks, much to my dismay I find "cankles" prevail. (Cankles are when your ankles/calves are joined as one.)

My socks lay on a pile next to my shoes, but looking at my legs they appear to still be on because of the telltale ridges and indentations that are still present. Too tired to be dismayed by this all too common sight, I hobble up to the bedroom for my nightly ritual of freshening up, donning p.j.'s and collapsing into bed.

Upon awakening the following morning my "cankles, and sock legs" have diminished but my toes remain square, chunky and sore to touch causing me to walk down the stairs for my morning coffee with a gait resembling a penguin. After a hot cup of steaming "cowboy strong coffee," my mind clears with thoughts of "This is not fair!" "My mind is sharp," I review the events of the past shift covering a 911 where an emergency was well handled with my knowledge and expertise that comes with 30 years of "humpin the halls." Granted, no longer do I run.... but my pace is still brisk! Upon arriving, my advice is still sound. No longer do the young EMT's give the old white haired nurse a hard time about why this is an emergency situation and why they were called. My presence leaves no doubt that I am the "head nurse" for the shift.

Finally the weekend arrives with time off to play, be with friends for a night, movies, maybe out with the girls for stress relievers and dancing.

Life is good, fun to be had, but one problem prevails... if I get up to dance, will my knees cooperate or fold?

Young at heart, but older in body everything hurts more than it ought to. Looking good with white blonde hair flowing and very few wrinkles hides he fact that no one has any idea my true age or being. A nice shirt, with a touch of "lady like sexy" adds to the feeling. Laughing, relaxing, and having fun, all of my nurse issues are put out of my mind, almost feeling like I am 30 again. As time passes I am light in mood, my energy rises and I feel wonderful, even if it is for a few hours.

So my comment is to young nurses full of energy and vigor... beware! One day you will be the old white haired nurse you see. Your aches and pains will come in time, but hopefully you will fee the same way I do today. This is the best profession ever and I would not trade this experience for anything!

So looking through my eyes this morning, yet again, I see that my outside does not match my inside...but is just fine with me!