This is a second career for me and I am a smidge over 30. First career was to be a psychotherapist. The BS and MS education in psych was amazing. But practicing as a therapist did not turn out well (didn't realize how chronic mental illness is and did not have the patience for it). The same has gone for nursing. I loved my education (got an AAS) and have been an RN since May of 2010. I have gotten jobs in women's health (right where I wanted to be in NICU and postpartum). But I am already looking for something else to do and I am not even sure I know what that is. I keep thinking it's my schedule (I work nights) so I am constantly looking for something else. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I just don't want to be a nurse. The only thing I have discovered about myself is that I like to teach. I don't want to teach kids or high school or anything, but I really enjoy knowing a lot about the body and mind and teaching patients (or anyone for that matter about it as it relates to their own health or a family member or friends health). My problem is I don't know what to do with this knowledge. I already have 3 degrees and was contemplating a BSN because I only have a few classes to take and my hospital would pay for it. But, now I am not so sure.
The state of the economy does not help either. 5-6 years ago I would have thought nothing of dropping my hours as an RN and pursuing some other path, but now...not so much. For one, education is ridiculously expensive and I am not 20 anymore so the idea of going further into debt for another career change is daunting. I don't see a lot out there that I can do with my current education and experience. I dread going to work not because I hate my job necessarily but because I keep feeling like there is something else I am supposed to be doing with my life and this is just something to do in the meantime. I chose nursing not because I have a great passion for it but because I seriously didn't know what else to do and thought since I had the psych degrees doing something in healthcare would be a great bridge.
Again, I am glad for my education and work experience (I worked as a CNA since 2003 while going to school) and the area of healthcare is fascinating to me. I am just really depressed and not sure what my next move should be. BUt, I must admit this is how I have felt since I finished with my BS in 2002. In whatever moment I am in since I graduated college (the first time) I keep looking ahead for the next best thing or what can I work on next or what goal or area can I move onto down the road. I have never been satisfied with whatever it was I was doing. Even when getting my MS, I was already planning on a PhD or a PsyD. Then during nursing school, I was already thinking I'll be applying to NP or PA programs as soon as I can and only planned on getting a year or two of experience at the bedside. It's like no matter what I am doing, I am thinking or looking into the next step I can take.
I have discovered this about myself but am not sure what my next move should be. I keep choosing things I know at the time are only a stepping stone to the next best thing and are things I know I don't want to do for a career. I can specifically remember doing prereq's for nursing and complaining about how I did not look forward to the crap hospital schedules and all the other BS that goes along with being a bedside nurse.
I don't know if I am asking a question here or just rambling (probably rambling) but if anyone cane pick up on something in this post and see what I am obviously not seeing...I need help. I am miserable and not sure what to do.
Very interesting. I definitely have never felt content. I don't even know what that would look like. I almost feel like that is a bad thing. Like if I were content, I would see that as a failure because I am not working towards some new goal. I'm a virgo by the way.
My mind over the past year it seems always goes to the negative. It's like my thought process has shifted and I automatically think of how whatever thoughts or ideas I have how is it going to make things more difficult for me or what kind of hardship or work is it going to cause me. I can't see bright sided anymore. Only more work, more stress, more negative. Ugh:confused:
Perhaps some people don't feel content in one job because that job will not provide ALL their career/employment needs.
Maybe these people need to do different things as well as NO one job will have them feel really satisfied.
There's nothing wrong with being split.
I'm beginning to realise there's nothing wrong with doing superficial stuff on my days off - especially if it pays well.
Think I'm going to learn how to do botox ....that will be fun not having to save lives and do things that really matter all the time
I hate my current position which is on Med/Surg floor. I feel very depress. My passion is to be a critical care nurse. And yes I do work nights. I think I am going to check myself in to rehab for my depression.
It sounds like you want to be a professional student. Maybe studying about what you will be doing is more idealized/glamorous in your mind than when you actually begin doing it. Like others have said, there is no such thing as the perfect job and it seems you have placed alot of emphasis on making your job fufill you and it keeps falling short and it will if you keep having unrealistic expectations of it. For me my faith in God and my spiritual journey is what fufills me inside and out so I don't expect a career, a person (mate), family ,friends to do that for me because all of those things are falliable.
It sounds to me that there is something deeper that you are missing. For me God is what brings ultimate peace in my life and I don't look to my career to fufill anything other than bringing me a means to provide for myself. It helps that I like what I'm doing but I don't look for it to be my all and everything. I know this may sound crazy to you and I'm not telling you to pursue spiritual/religious avenues if you are not a spiritual person but I would encourage you to do some soul searching because I would bet its deeper than not finding the right career path. This is an effect of something else.
I need to be an accountant or go work at ups or something that has nothing to do with humanity. Ugh. I appreciate the feedback so far. I have no desire whatsoever to work in psych at all.
UPS is harder then nursing, I worked there in college, talk about lifting! OY!
IMO just get away from patients for a while. Take a break. Maybe try insurance companies, they are always looking for nurses for quality assurance types of jobs.
I have to go to work tonight and I am just dreading it. I wish I could call in. I wish I could take a fricken month off of work and take some time to sort through my head. Want to curl in ball. Maybe I should start searching out some restaurant jobs. Bartender sounds good.
That post makes perfect sense to me. So does the one about find a job that has nothing to do with humanity. It sounds, to me, that what you need is simply a job that revolves around satisfactorily completing tasks that can actually be completed, not nursing, which is the epitome of plug away at it all day but still "a woman's work is never done," lol. Hang wallpaper. Analyze samples in a lab. Repair something. Do research and write reports. Work as a paralegal. Follow orders, then drop the job at the end of the day and do not concern yourself with it at all until you are back on the clock, getting paid by the hour. Or own it, control it, take it home, work on it 24/7 until you have completed it and then relish the thrill of success. Black and white, with almost no gray. Look at nontraditional jobs, or trades, especially if you have any kind of tomboy streak.
I can already see after one year of RN school that the healthcare system is chock full of lots of types of people who are very, very, different from me. Excruciatingly different, as in we have nothing in common, whatsoever. And I get no sense of satisfaction from a day on the floor, because I really can't point to one thing I did that gave me any personal sense of accomplishment. I feel like all I do is "mother" people all day, and I do not like the role of wife and mother, and I don't get a big thrill out of care-giving. Solving a finite problem for a patient and making it go away once and for all, yes. Thrashing the competition and getting their money, yes. But nurture, nurture, nurture, serve, serve, serve: No.
And also look hard at whether nursing gives you the (for lack of a better word) respect that you need to keep going in it. For example, as student nurse (at MY age! lol), patients just presume that I've been a homemaker and I don't really have any education or skills or career experience before trying nursing. So, I tend to get a lot of well-meaning comments like "Oh, you'll be a great little nurse!" A great lil' nurse? Well, there went my incentive to pursue this career change. If I am going to bust my azz to learn all that and be proficient, and patients see me as servant girl, it's really not the profession for me.
You should make an appointment with your primary care physician and explain your mental state to him/her. Maybe they will order a Psych consult for, perhaps a little therapy or antidepressants. Good luck.
That post makes perfect sense to me. So does the one about find a job that has nothing to do with humanity. It sounds, to me, that what you need is simply a job that revolves around satisfactorily completing tasks that can actually be completed, not nursing, which is the epitome of plug away at it all day but still "a woman's work is never done," lol. Hang wallpaper. Analyze samples in a lab. Repair something. Do research and write reports. Work as a paralegal. Follow orders, then drop the job at the end of the day and do not concern yourself with it at all until you are back on the clock, getting paid by the hour. Or own it, control it, take it home, work on it 24/7 until you have completed it and then relish the thrill of success. Black and white, with almost no gray. Look at nontraditional jobs, or trades, especially if you have any kind of tomboy streak.
I can already see after one year of RN school that the healthcare system is chock full of lots of types of people who are very, very, different from me. Excruciatingly different, as in we have nothing in common, whatsoever. And I get no sense of satisfaction from a day on the floor, because I really can't point to one thing I did that gave me any personal sense of accomplishment. I feel like all I do is "mother" people all day, and I do not like the role of wife and mother, and I don't get a big thrill out of care-giving. Solving a finite problem for a patient and making it go away once and for all, yes. Thrashing the competition and getting their money, yes. But nurture, nurture, nurture, serve, serve, serve: No.
And also look hard at whether nursing gives you the (for lack of a better word) respect that you need to keep going in it. For example, as student nurse (at MY age! lol), patients just presume that I've been a homemaker and I don't really have any education or skills or career experience before trying nursing. So, I tend to get a lot of well-meaning comments like "Oh, you'll be a great little nurse!" A great lil' nurse? Well, there went my incentive to pursue this career change. If I am going to bust my azz to learn all that and be proficient, and patients see me as servant girl, it's really not the profession for me.
Oh yes I love this post
1. Find a job that has a beginning. middle and end
2. Find a job that gives one real respect
3. Get a job that pays money
4. Don't do a caregiving job if it doesn't suit you
5. Don't do a serving humanity job if it's not you
You have helped me along with sorting out my own dilemma .... thankyou
If you are getting frustrated with humanity and people in general, the last thing you want to do is be an accountant! I work in an accountant's office PT, actually, (while not being a nurse) and all I do is get yelled at by people about their financial problems. As they say, "money is the root of all evil" and I have definitely seen it.
What brings out the worst in us humans other than money and finances?
I do understand your pain. I would try and find another job where you can work days, then re-evaluate how you feel. If you still aren't getting a good vibe, then change it! Its never too late :)
I am completely for continuing education and advancement; we should never stop learning. But, what I hear in your post is "it's never enough". With all due respect, I don't think you will feel fulfilled, no matter what the next step is. I would suggest some more soul searching and maybe talking to a counselor to figure out what hole you are trying to fill. I hope that you are able to resolve it within yourself, because I can hear your anxiety and frustration.
Thanks for all the great responses. I am just not sure what to make of anything right now. I think I need to see a professional. I have been in contact with my nurse manager (whom I had a conversation with about this maybe 2 months ago because I was struggling with my schedule then) and am waiting to here back from her because I don't know what to do at this point. I feel very lost, physically and mentally sick and as if I am wandering aimlessly. Thanks again for all the feedback.
That post makes perfect sense to me. So does the one about find a job that has nothing to do with humanity. It sounds, to me, that what you need is simply a job that revolves around satisfactorily completing tasks that can actually be completed, not nursing, which is the epitome of plug away at it all day but still "a woman's work is never done," lol. Hang wallpaper. Analyze samples in a lab. Repair something. Do research and write reports. Work as a paralegal. Follow orders, then drop the job at the end of the day and do not concern yourself with it at all until you are back on the clock, getting paid by the hour. Or own it, control it, take it home, work on it 24/7 until you have completed it and then relish the thrill of success. Black and white, with almost no gray. Look at nontraditional jobs, or trades, especially if you have any kind of tomboy streak.
I can already see after one year of RN school that the healthcare system is chock full of lots of types of people who are very, very, different from me. Excruciatingly different, as in we have nothing in common, whatsoever. And I get no sense of satisfaction from a day on the floor, because I really can't point to one thing I did that gave me any personal sense of accomplishment. I feel like all I do is "mother" people all day, and I do not like the role of wife and mother, and I don't get a big thrill out of care-giving. Solving a finite problem for a patient and making it go away once and for all, yes. Thrashing the competition and getting their money, yes. But nurture, nurture, nurture, serve, serve, serve: No.
And also look hard at whether nursing gives you the (for lack of a better word) respect that you need to keep going in it. For example, as student nurse (at MY age! lol), patients just presume that I've been a homemaker and I don't really have any education or skills or career experience before trying nursing. So, I tend to get a lot of well-meaning comments like "Oh, you'll be a great little nurse!" A great lil' nurse? Well, there went my incentive to pursue this career change. If I am going to bust my azz to learn all that and be proficient, and patients see me as servant girl, it's really not the profession for me.
Yes. I have a huge problem with this. I feel like I have all of this knowledge to share but feel more like a glorified waitress. Every time before I leave a room I always ask "Is there anything else I can do for you while I am in here. Or is there anything else that you need?" I swear I said the same thing when I worked as a waitress!!!!!
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pedicurn, LPN, RN
696 Posts
Perhaps some people don't feel content in one job because that job will not provide ALL their career/employment needs.
Maybe these people need to do different things as well as NO one job will have them feel really satisfied.
There's nothing wrong with being split.
I'm beginning to realise there's nothing wrong with doing superficial stuff on my days off - especially if it pays well.
Think I'm going to learn how to do botox ....that will be fun not having to save lives and do things that really matter all the time