My girlfriend is afraid that I might meet another girl in the nursing program...

SomeoneE1se · Apr 25, 2012

Sounds like she doesn't trust you, that's dangerous to a relationship. If your RN school is still a year away and she's already worried about you meeting someone else, that's not jealousy that's crazy.

It also might help to not refer to them as beautiful, seeing as how you have no idea who they are, or what they look like yet.

Gradius · Apr 25, 2012

Just like you said with 2) , tell her that to hook up with another student would be illogical, because a) that would cause you to lose her, and b) Imagine if you did hook up with one of your classmates and you two later broke up-- it would be very awkward for you, because girls like to talk, and you would probably be very isolated from your fellow students (not your fault) until graduation.

Kiwiguy · Apr 26, 2012

Tell her she has nothing to fear, your going to be far too busy learning to have time to do that. Besides those girls quickly become your friends and at school a class can easily become like a family, id tell her not to worry :)

mssjez · Apr 26, 2012

Tell her that you will not hook up with or date your classmates because you love her and she could become your wife. Don't talk about how it would mess things up for you. That won't really reassure her. It's normal that she's jealous, it means she loves you and she doesn't want to lose you. Until you start the program, remind her how much you care about her as much as you can. When you start the program, make any time you can spend with her count. And if you can, and she's okay with it, spend time with her even if it involves you studying while she sits on the couch next to you and reads a book (or include her and she can help you study by quizzing you). Even if you call her on your study group's 10 minute break to let her know that you miss her, it will help make her feel special. Also, always let her know how good it is to see her or talk to her after spending all day at clinicals or in class. You're nursing friends will be good friends, you'll study with them and they'll understand aspects of your life as a nursing student that your girlfriend wont. Include you're girlfriend as much as possible though. Introduce her to your nursing friends, so she can develop a relationship with them also. If you're talking to your nursing friends about something that your girlfriend doesn't get, explain it to her, so she doesn't feel as excluded from that area of your life.

I hope that helps. Girls are very action-based most of the time. If you act like she is a priority by telling her and including her, she will understand that she's a priority. When you don't act or tell her that she's important in your life (just as much as nursing), that's when her mind will wander and she will assume that if you aren't acting like it or telling her, then she isn't. Good luck!

She has some concern, but honestly I don't blame her. I'll be going to school with lots of beautiful nursing students and we will all be working closely together. Also they say your classmates in nursing school become friends for life. This closeness with other girls seems to always threaten the current girl in your life in my experience. Also she said that I probably wont have that much time for her. 1 day per week I'm guessing?? I start nursing school in 1 year from now.
I do not plan on hooking up/dating any of my classmates because 1) I love my girlfriend and she could possibly become my wife 2) I do not want to jeopardize in anyway my schoolwork.
Input?

pookiecupcake · Apr 26, 2012

This is coming from a very jealous girlfriend myself.... The only way you will truly get her trust that you will not hurt her like that is to make sure you watch what you say to her about your fellow students. I am not saying to lie to her or keep anything from her, but you do not need to go into detail about specific people in your program/ classes because it will only raise suspicions for her. I sometimes let my brain wander and get the best of me, but as long as my boyfriend doesn't play into that and add to my scenarios and crazy ideas i've come up with they all seem to fade away. Girls have a lot of competition now and perfect girls are everywhere you look, so just keep in mind that she needs to feel like she is your main focus.:redlight: I can not stress enough....do not ever tell her that there are pretty girls in your class...even if there are, just make sure you do not feed into that if she asks, tell her you don't notice things like that anymore because you are commited to her. Hope this helped. :)

Loque, BSN, RN · Apr 28, 2012

I am not saying to lie to her or keep anything from her, but you do not need to go into detail about specific people in your program/ classes because it will only raise suspicions for her. I can not stress enough....do not ever tell her that there are pretty girls in your class...even if there are, just make sure you do not feed into that if she asks, tell her you don't notice things like that anymore because you are commited to her. Hope this helped. :)

Truth. Both men and women (women more though, maybe) compare themselves to others all the time. This is especially true in school because it's a competitive place. The single most important thing you can do is not to feed into her worries and insecurities about you starting school. If you don't go making it more difficult for her than it is already, you two should be fine. If she starts really doubting and questioning your relationship, well then maybe she needs to sort out her own trust issues.

Sturmgeist · Apr 28, 2012

I am a 39 (almost 40) male student who is 5 days away from graduating with my BSN from an ABSN program. I have 38 other classmates, 33 of which are women. Just putting everything in context. I would just reassure her that you love her and that you would not do anything to risk that. Also state that you are all going to be so busy studying and focused on your work that dating is the LAST thing on your mind. If she insists on continuing this jealousy streak...ask her if she is going to have issues with you working with other women (mostly)? Ask her if she is going to be jealous of female patients you take care of? Is she going to mind you being present during catheterizations, labor and delivery, putting a 12 lead EKG/ECG on a female?

I know you love her and that is great. However, if she has a problem with you working alongside of women...then you have some thinking ahead of you. My wife was very understanding and has had absolutely zero issues with all the girls I hang out with. I focus on her when I am with her. This is a good test for your relationship. If she can't handle you going to school with young women...she won't be able to handle you working with women either. Remember, you are going to be spending alot of time each shift working and getting to know your coworkers...it is best if you find out if your girlfriend/possible wife has an irrational jealousy issue now...before you are married.

Hope this helps?

prof joe · Apr 28, 2012

Nursing school is very demanding and stressful by itself. School will take time away from your friends and family. Long clinical days and study group time will take a terrible toll on you. I have seen a lot of relationships consisting of jobs, marriages, and personal lives change over the course of school. Just remember your goal is to get through in a timely manner. Set your goals and make them known. Things have a way of working out.

veggie530 · May 1, 2012

Honest statement: I was with mine for six years entering the program. Needless to say, here I am day dreaming about the girl that sits a few seats in front of me and turns out the ex had something to be worried about after all.

It isn't necessarily about the idea that you will meet someone "hot" or something... but when you are around different people all the time and you meet people that genuinely interest you on a cognitive level, and they challenge you... stuff can happen. Feelings can develop. Especially if you have a spiritual/cultural connection and what not.

All you can say is "no, never" but if I were you... keep your damn guard up.

Merlyn · May 1, 2012

Back in the Dark Ages when I went to school, I didn't have a girlfriend. I was the only male in the school. My classmates were divided over,"Is he gay?" or "Keep away from my daughter!" As for being gay, I took one of my classmates out and showed her that I was not gay. As for their daughters, well that's another story. But even today my wife gets "hurt" if I talk about another nurse too much. She even got hurt when I hugged the Vet that takes care of my horse. I had taken care of the Vet in the hospital after she was kicked in the chest by a horse. I had given the vet special treatment as payback because three months before she had seen my horse through a potently fatal disease. After ten years my horse just had his 32 birthday. I don't know how old the vet is. You will have this trouble with your girlfriend all through your nursing career. I don't know what to tell you. If I had the answer to the workings of the female mind, I would be a billionaire.

Gradius · May 2, 2012

Back in the Dark Ages when I went to school, I didn't have a girlfriend. I was the only male in the school. My classmates were divided over,"Is he gay?" or "Keep away from my daughter!" As for being gay, I took one of my classmates out and showed her that I was not gay. As for their daughters, well that's another story. But even today my wife gets "hurt" if I talk about another nurse too much. She even got hurt when I hugged the Vet that takes care of my horse. I had taken care of the Vet in the hospital after she was kicked in the chest by a horse. I had given the vet special treatment as payback because three months before she had seen my horse through a potently fatal disease. After ten years my horse just had his 32 birthday. I don't know how old the vet is. You will have this trouble with your girlfriend all through your nursing career. I don't know what to tell you. If I had the answer to the workings of the female mind, I would be a billionaire.

Haha makes me wonder what I would do if I was ever put in that situation.