My friend is interested in nursing as an easy back-up plan.

[scientist]

I have a friend I met when taking some science classes at a community college. I was accepted to the university in our city and my program (which is competitive) but she ended up not getting accepted to the university at all. Her original plan was to major in chemistry (which is an open, non-competitive major at this university) and try to get into the field of forensics using that degree.

I don't know why she wasn't accepted to the university. I don't know her GPA. She did okay in the science classes we took together, but I know she has failed some classes due to just not going to them and not properly withdrawing from the courses. I was helping her come up with a plan to take classes at our university as a non-matriculated student to work toward her chemistry degree in hopes that the university might see that she can handle the rigors of the upper-level classes and accept her next year. So winter she is taking an upper-level math class at the university.

Anyway, she emailed me and said if she doesn't get accepted to the university, she is just going to go back to the community college and apply to their nursing program because she needs to do something and she knows nursing is an in-demand field. I asked her why she didn't give my program a try and she said it sounded too hard.

I'm at a loss as to what to say to her. I've helped her through this entire process of applying to the university, guiding her to take some of the classes as a non-matriculated student, etc. but I really don't know a polite way of telling her that nursing isn't something that you go into lightly. The programs in this area are INCREDIBLY competitive. The one program she is referring to at the community college is the most difficult one to get into too (but it produces the most respected graduates, even above the BSN programs). I asked her to consider applying to my program, which is more in-line with her original interest in chemistry, and she said it sounded too hard and with her just having had a baby she couldn't do it. While my program is academically incredibly difficult, there is no way the nursing programs in this area are any easier.

I don't want to offend her but I think her interest in nursing is misplaced and she doesn't understand the reality of how difficult the programs in this area are and nursing is in general. I worked as a CNA when I was a pre-nursing student (before changing my major, but because I was pre-nursing I know all about the programs in this area and I have people I know in many of the nursing programs from my time as a pre-nursing student) and it just isn't something I think you can get into lightly or half-heartedly, especially when the programs in this state are SO competitive.

What advice should I give her? I don't want to be rude and make her feel like she can't do it. I just don't think nursing should be a back-up plan and I really don't think at this point she could get into the programs in this area (I would be very shocked if she did) because they like to see volunteer work, healthcare experience, high GPA's in the pre-req sciences (I know she hasn't completed some of them, but I also know one of the bio classes that is a pre-req for nursing she did awful in). I fear she would apply and get rejected and just give up on college altogether since her "back-up" plan failed.

What is a tactful way of bringing this up to her and helping her on the right path? She also doesn't seem to know much of anything about nursing at all in terms of what they do, the amount of knowledge they have, the amount of work required. I wrote out an email trying to tell her how nursing really isn't a back-up plan and how the programs are much more competitive than my program and even the general requirements of our local university (which she was rejected from), and how nursing is way more demanding of a field than I think she realizes, but I ended up not sending it because I don't want to discourage her, so I decided to come her and see if I could get some advice!

[Absolutely13]

You are right about her chances getting into a CC program with GPA issues and some F's on her transcript. I think I have a way for her to get the hint that won't involve you at all. She needs to sit down with a health sciences/program advisor with her transcript in hand. It will all come out in the wash at that meeting.

I wish her luck in whatever she decides to do and you sound like a good friend watching out for her.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

I don't think I'd get too far into it. I'd just tell her that you know it's very competitive to not only GET INTO the program, but to stay in it as well. That the spots go to people with healthcare backgrounds and high GPAs first, and whatever's left over goes to the rest. That it's usually not something that's a great "back up plan" because it is such a time-consuming program; if she has any other interests, they will come last. And wrap up by saying that if she applies, you wish her the best! :)

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

She is grown and she'll see for herself. I would say some of the suggestions listed by others, but in the end, I would let her lead her life. She will either not get accepted to begin with or midway through, fail out. It is cruel, but it is life. Keep in mind that there are many with that same attitude that still make it through the program, pass NCLEX, and then, are in for a rude awakening when they see it is not like television or what the textbooks say.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I've said it before... the words easy and nursing school don't exactly go together. Now, i will admit that I left a 4 year college in favor of nursing school (Biology and chem major) but i wasn't failing anything. I could simply see that the path i was taking me wasn't actually going to get me where i wanted to be.

[kimima01]

I am in my last semester of nursing school and my friends are still amazed when I tell them how difficult it is! Do either or you have friends or associates in a nursing program? If so, perhaps you can suggest she speak with someone who is in a program or better yet, speak with an RN.

[Magsulfate, BSN, RN]

All these suggestions are good. Just let her figure it out. Of course you can tell her your concerns, but let her do what she thinks she can do. If she does get accepting into the nursing program, and she starts doing clinicals, she will find out fast if it is for her or not. The clinicals are tough, classes are tough, but when you have to give 3 back to back enemas on the same 'stopped up' patient, and then clean up all the crap that comes out, over and over, each time you turn the patient more poop comes out.... she'll know whether or not nursing is for her... lol....

(yes, this happened to three nursing students when I was in school, and two of them quit) lol

[oakbourne]

I think I would of said, "nursing is hard and you have to study harder, and clinicals and instructors will always test you and can make it really dificult at times."

"There will be lots of times you won't be able to do things with your husband, friends, children, and down time will be hard to find. There is alway the test to study for, care plans, looking up drugs and making cards, etc."

I would give her the low-down on becoming a nurse. She may be taking a seat away from someone who really has their heart into becoming a nurse.

[Keepstanding, ASN, RN]

she is sadly mistaken. enlighten her !

praiser :heartbeat

[deftonez188]

You should be honest and tell her to grow up, big kids go to class and study, little kids are the ones who skip and get crap grades. Sounds irresponsible especially not withdrawing from classes when it is as easy as tying your shoes. A real friend would tell you how it is, even if it hurts your feelings.

[DA314]

Nursing school has a way of weeding out those who really don't want to be nursesand are only in it for the money. I'd say nothing and let her find out for herself

[Pepperlady]

You could have been describing me!! I chose nursing school 24 years ago because I was wasting my money on university and the party atmosphere, I was not getting good grades and my friend decided to leave and go to nursing school. So one day I just picked up the phone and called the college, I had not given one thought to nursing before and was just following my friend. To my utter amazement I loved nursing, yes I struggled with the school aspect of it and didn't enjoy the clinicals a lot, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

My advice, she is an adult, she will make choices in her life, some will work, some will not. Hopefully if she chooses nursing she will do well and enjoy it, hopefully she will recognize if its not the fit for her.

I have worked with many nurses who said it was their dream to be a nurse, and they really should not be nurses. They are miserable and unhappy and poor nurses. So whether one gives it much thought or one gives it very little thought, you may be surprised by your friend.