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Dad took a turn for the worse over the weekend and Mom didn't tell me, although I was becoming concerned because she was weepier than usual. When I got there this afternoon she and my sister had left to go home and my nephew and I spent some time with him. He was not at all responsive. He was on a mask, oxygen as high as it goes on a concentrator, and fighting for every breath. He was a handsome man, 6 feet tall, and was 150 pounds when he died. Apparently they never completely knocked the pneumonia out and he went into septic shock.
We had just finished dinner when the call came. He died at 5:50 pm. He fought hard but lost, although it's a blessing. He is no longer suffering and lonely.
He was a good man, with a sharp intellect, dry wit, and love of knowledge. He was as honest as the day is long, with morals that were clear and unwavering. He is the man who explained to me that it is harder to be an atheist than religious, because we have to do the right thing just because it's right.
My brother and his wif and a daughter are flying in from Ghana on Friday and we will have a small, private viewing Saturday night. No minister. He will be laid to rest as he lived, with dignity and love.
Here is the poem we will read:
A Man's a Man for A' That
By Robert Burns, 1795
Is there for honest poverty
That hings his head, an a' that?
The coward slave, we pass him by -
We dare be poor for a' that!
For a' that, an a' that!
Our toils obscure, an a' that,
The rank is but the guinea's stamp,
The man's the gowd for a' that.
What though on hamely fare we dine,
Wear hodding grey, an a' that?
Gie fools their skills, and knaves their wine -
A man's a man for a' that.
For a' that, an a' that,
Their tinsel show, an a' that,
The honest man, tho e'er sae poor,
Is king o men for a' that.
Ye see yon birkie ca'd 'a lord,'
Wha struts, an stares, an a' that?
Tho hundreds worship at his word,
He's but a cuif for a' that.
For a' that, an a' that,
His ribband, star, an a' that,
The man o independent mind,
He looks an laughs at a' that.
A prince can mak a belted knight,
A marquis, duke, an a' that!
But an honest man's aboon his might -
Guid faith, he mauna fa' that!
For a' that, an a' that,
Their dignities, an a' that,
The pith o sense an pride o worth,
Are higher rank than a' that.
Then let us pray that come it may
(As come it will for a' that),
That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,
Shall bear the gree an a' that.
For a' that, an a' that,
It's coming yet for a' that,
That man to man, the world, o'er
Shall brithers be for a' that.
I will miss him. I adored him.
My sympathies to you and your family for the loss of your dad. It's hard, hard, hard to lose them.
It's been almost four months since my own mother died unexpectedly, and we were able to all come together to inter her cremains just this last weekend. When she was first gone, I cried daily, all day. That gradually tapered off and I would find myself teary-eyed only a couple of times a week. I even got to the point where I could catch myself thinking that she hadn't called in a while, or pick up the phone to call her, or find something in the paper or on the internet that I was certain would interest her and then remember that she was no longer here to talk to and share with, with great sadness but without crying. But sure enough, during the service, over the grave and with her name engraved on the marker next to my father's, I was beyond words and cried throughout. We all did.
And right now, I'm crying.
She is home now. She and my dad are together again. There is no pain or worry or sorrow for either of them. The circle is complete. It is as it should be.
locolorenzo22, BSN, RN
2,396 Posts
my prayers and sorrow for your loss.