My Father Died Today

Published

Dad took a turn for the worse over the weekend and Mom didn't tell me, although I was becoming concerned because she was weepier than usual. When I got there this afternoon she and my sister had left to go home and my nephew and I spent some time with him. He was not at all responsive. He was on a mask, oxygen as high as it goes on a concentrator, and fighting for every breath. He was a handsome man, 6 feet tall, and was 150 pounds when he died. Apparently they never completely knocked the pneumonia out and he went into septic shock.

We had just finished dinner when the call came. He died at 5:50 pm. He fought hard but lost, although it's a blessing. He is no longer suffering and lonely.

He was a good man, with a sharp intellect, dry wit, and love of knowledge. He was as honest as the day is long, with morals that were clear and unwavering. He is the man who explained to me that it is harder to be an atheist than religious, because we have to do the right thing just because it's right.

My brother and his wif and a daughter are flying in from Ghana on Friday and we will have a small, private viewing Saturday night. No minister. He will be laid to rest as he lived, with dignity and love.

Here is the poem we will read:

A Man's a Man for A' That

By Robert Burns, 1795

Is there for honest poverty

That hings his head, an a' that?

The coward slave, we pass him by -

We dare be poor for a' that!

For a' that, an a' that!

Our toils obscure, an a' that,

The rank is but the guinea's stamp,

The man's the gowd for a' that.

What though on hamely fare we dine,

Wear hodding grey, an a' that?

Gie fools their skills, and knaves their wine -

A man's a man for a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

Their tinsel show, an a' that,

The honest man, tho e'er sae poor,

Is king o men for a' that.

Ye see yon birkie ca'd 'a lord,'

Wha struts, an stares, an a' that?

Tho hundreds worship at his word,

He's but a cuif for a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

His ribband, star, an a' that,

The man o independent mind,

He looks an laughs at a' that.

A prince can mak a belted knight,

A marquis, duke, an a' that!

But an honest man's aboon his might -

Guid faith, he mauna fa' that!

For a' that, an a' that,

Their dignities, an a' that,

The pith o sense an pride o worth,

Are higher rank than a' that.

Then let us pray that come it may

(As come it will for a' that),

That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,

Shall bear the gree an a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

It's coming yet for a' that,

That man to man, the world, o'er

Shall brithers be for a' that.

I will miss him. I adored him.

My sincere condolences......

Dad took a turn for the worse over the weekend and Mom didn't tell me, although I was becoming concerned because she was weepier than usual. When I got there this afternoon she and my sister had left to go home and my nephew and I spent some time with him. He was not at all responsive. He was on a mask, oxygen as high as it goes on a concentrator, and fighting for every breath. He was a handsome man, 6 feet tall, and was 150 pounds when he died. Apparently they never completely knocked the pneumonia out and he went into septic shock.

We had just finished dinner when the call came. He died at 5:50 pm. He fought hard but lost, although it's a blessing. He is no longer suffering and lonely.

He was a good man, with a sharp intellect, dry wit, and love of knowledge. He was as honest as the day is long, with morals that were clear and unwavering. He is the man who explained to me that it is harder to be an atheist than religious, because we have to do the right thing just because it's right.

My brother and his wif and a daughter are flying in from Ghana on Friday and we will have a small, private viewing Saturday night. No minister. He will be laid to rest as he lived, with dignity and love.

Here is the poem we will read:

A Man's a Man for A' That

By Robert Burns, 1795

Is there for honest poverty

That hings his head, an a' that?

The coward slave, we pass him by -

We dare be poor for a' that!

For a' that, an a' that!

Our toils obscure, an a' that,

The rank is but the guinea's stamp,

The man's the gowd for a' that.

What though on hamely fare we dine,

Wear hodding grey, an a' that?

Gie fools their skills, and knaves their wine -

A man's a man for a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

Their tinsel show, an a' that,

The honest man, tho e'er sae poor,

Is king o men for a' that.

Ye see yon birkie ca'd 'a lord,'

Wha struts, an stares, an a' that?

Tho hundreds worship at his word,

He's but a cuif for a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

His ribband, star, an a' that,

The man o independent mind,

He looks an laughs at a' that.

A prince can mak a belted knight,

A marquis, duke, an a' that!

But an honest man's aboon his might -

Guid faith, he mauna fa' that!

For a' that, an a' that,

Their dignities, an a' that,

The pith o sense an pride o worth,

Are higher rank than a' that.

Then let us pray that come it may

(As come it will for a' that),

That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,

Shall bear the gree an a' that.

For a' that, an a' that,

It's coming yet for a' that,

That man to man, the world, o'er

Shall brithers be for a' that.

I will miss him. I adored him.

Specializes in ER.

Your father sounded like a man everyone should strive to be like. I am sorry for you loss.

Specializes in ICU.

So sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Specializes in CCU,ICU,ER retired.

Oh Sue I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a couple of years ago but he is always in my heart. There are still days I think " I need to call Dad and ask him about this." I think about him every day and you will too. And it is a good thing.

beautiful words for your father...i'm sorry for your loss:cry:

((((Sue))))

I said the prayer I told you I would....... and now it has come to pass. I don't know that it was right; nor if it made any difference; but I did it for you.

I wish there was more that I could say; but at a time like this the best thing is often not a word--- but a look; or a touch; or to hold someone; this is often a better way to convey one's thoughts and feelings. But those options aren't available to me.

But I will do this, however meager it may sound: I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. Your father was a good man. I hope that your family can manage to celebrate his life even as you grieve his death. :redbeathe

Dan

Specializes in LTC- as CNA, L&D, Current- Oncology.

Sending lots of warm hugs and good vibes your way. I pray you can find peace as you heal.

Specializes in Cardiology, Oncology, Medsurge.

Dear SuesquatchRN,

Sorry to hear the news of the loss of your dad.

I'm sure he brought a lot to life as you do to the life of this website.

Take care, don't forget to show your mourning face in public, it's the real deal.

god bless.

PS and don't forget you can always write to him, I practice this with my dead old aunt and grandma and grand dad...I know, they're all perfect 25 year young in heaven!! ;-)

Specializes in Hospice, Home Health, Med/Surg.

I lost my mother 5 years ago so I can understand your pain. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself time to grieve.

Peace, love and light~

Sue - I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine in 2005 and know how awful the whole experience is. Please know I'll be thinking about you.

Hugs hugs hugs your way.

Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

Sue, I am so sorry for your loss. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. BTW, the poem is beautiful.

I'm so sorry about your loss.

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