My ALMOST 5 year old refuses to poop on the potty!

elliebellie · Jan 28, 2006

My daughter took forever too. She was peeing for over a year, but always asked for a diaper to poop in. She would hold it if we didn't give her a diaper. I could go on & on about the battles related to this! We saw our pediatrician many times, she kept saying she would do it soon. Then one day she decided she would poop with a paper towel between the bowl & the seat. Then within a week she was using it. She was almost 5 years old. People would say when she was 3 "well, she won't go to kindergarten not potty trained" but it seemed like she was headed that way.

Then it just happened. Have him checked out by your ped, and then just know it will happen eventually!

NurseLatteDNP, MSN, DNP, RN · Jan 28, 2006

You did good by celebrating the little steps in his progress. Some children just do not want to give up the diaper. I had the same problem with my daughter, but one day I just stoped using the diapers, and I bought her big girl underwear. I even let her pick them. I did not let her use pull ups, since she will just use them as a diaper. But she did not want to mess up her pretty underwear. Sure she had accidents, and we had days where she wanted her diaper back, but I would not give in. I gave her "good job" stickers every time she used the potty. Just keep doing what you are doing, and try to take away the diaper. He might like to feel like a big boy.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2006

You have a 5 year old child who refuses to defecate at the toilet?? I'm sorry, but that is so ridiculous. Since you're the parent, you must have enabled this behavior to occur continually over the past 2 or 3 years. Since I grew up in a lower socioeconomic bracket, my parents would not have ever tolerated the excess money spent on diapers and other materials.

I would try bribing this child with candies to get him to start pooping at the toilet. Two years of unneccesary diaper changes just seems incredible. My post might sound harsh, but it is my honest opinion. Your child will continue to do whatever he is enabled to, including pooping in diapers at your expense and effort.

grinnurse, RN · Jan 28, 2006

O.K.....I really need your help on this one. My son will be 5 in March and I cannot convince him to do the deed on the potty. I have tried just about everything except super gluing him to the seat! He urinates regularly, since he was 3. He has pooped on the potty about 4 times in his life and I made a HUGE deal about what a big boy he was. I am afraid if I push him too hard, I might do some mental damage:uhoh3: . I have a 15 month old daughter, too. I am sick of diapers! Someone please tell me I won't be wiping his butt forever!:imbar Thanks in advance!

Are you sure you're not talking about my son???:rotfl: I am having the same problem with my 3.5 yo too!! It is his last little bit of control he has in his life and I try to remember that but it gets really frustrating at times. It took me forever to get him to go pee in the potty but finally he does this all the time. He has had big boy panties now for a year and still won't go in the potty so we have to do regular clean ups!! He also seems to have a problem with constipation. I give him some MOM every other day but that sometimes doesn't even help at all!! Docs just say to give it time so I guess that's what I have to do until he will do it!! I think, besides the control issue, he just doesn't want to take the time to do it!!

I will wish us both good luck!!

Saved_by_Grace · Jan 28, 2006

I am having the same problem with my son. He will be 4 in February. However he won't pee in the potty either. He refuses to even sit on the potty. I've tried everything I can think of, he seems genuinely scared of the potty. I even went out and bought a Winnie the Pooh one that has a little flushy handle on it and say "good job". I tried buying big boy underwear and nixing the diapers and pullups as well. He will not wear them, I catch him running through the house naked. He is so stubborn and will wail for hours on end, "I want my diaper." I have tried everything I know to do. I have 2 older children who both trained before they were 3 , and I have done everything that all the expert books suggest, etc. So I feel your pain! If you get the answer, please let me know!!!!

scizzerin · Jan 28, 2006

The thing that worked really well for me was making my daughter sit in her own poo (only about 1 hr, and only 3 times) she hated the feeling. We got her Kandoos (flushable wet wipes) and she picked out pretty princess undies. and here we are.

kimlpn · Jan 28, 2006

My daughter did the same thing...although she finally totally trained at 3. She would pee in the potty but ask for a diaper to poop in. I think this is fairly common. Boys are typically slower at training than girls...I would just keep up with the praises and it will happen one day.

Kim

now RN :)

kimlpn · Jan 28, 2006

You have a 5 year old child who refuses to defecate at the toilet?? I'm sorry, but that is so ridiculous. Since you're the parent, you must have enabled this behavior to occur continually over the past 2 or 3 years. Since I grew up in a lower socioeconomic bracket, my parents would not have ever tolerated the excess money spent on diapers and other materials.
I would try bribing this child with candies to get him to start pooping at the toilet. Two years of unneccesary diaper changes just seems incredible. My post might sound harsh, but it is my honest opinion. Your child will continue to do whatever he is enabled to, including pooping in diapers at your expense and effort.

Do you have children? This is a fairly common problem--and more so for boys. It is not always an issue of enabling. :uhoh3:

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2006

You have a 5 year old child who refuses to defecate at the toilet?? I'm sorry, but that is so ridiculous. Since you're the parent, you must have enabled this behavior to occur continually over the past 2 or 3 years. Since I grew up in a lower socioeconomic bracket, my parents would not have ever tolerated the excess money spent on diapers and other materials.
I would try bribing this child with candies to get him to start pooping at the toilet. Two years of unneccesary diaper changes just seems incredible. My post might sound harsh, but it is my honest opinion. Your child will continue to do whatever he is enabled to, including pooping in diapers at your expense and effort.

Potty training is not a cut and dried process. This post is judgmental and borders on a personal attack. It also assumes a lot. You don't know what she has tried and what she has not. If potty training were as simple as throwing a few pieces of candy a child's way, there would not be en entire industry devoted to this process.

MamaTheNurse, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2006

You have a 5 year old child who refuses to defecate at the toilet?? I'm sorry, but that is so ridiculous. Since you're the parent, you must have enabled this behavior to occur continually over the past 2 or 3 years. Since I grew up in a lower socioeconomic bracket, my parents would not have ever tolerated the excess money spent on diapers and other materials.
I would try bribing this child with candies to get him to start pooping at the toilet. Two years of unneccesary diaper changes just seems incredible. My post might sound harsh, but it is my honest opinion. Your child will continue to do whatever he is enabled to, including pooping in diapers at your expense and effort.

wow - that is pretty harsh - do you have children? if not, I would keep opinions like that to yourself until you experience parenthood............

all children are different - I think that it was more your personality than your parents' socioeconomic bracket that caused you to be toilet trained at the age you were (if you had had a legitimate physical problem, would your parents have let you run around in poopy pants just because you were in a lower socioeconomic bracket? I hope not) - if a child's personality is such that they are absolutely not going to poop in the toilet until they want to, it doesn't matter if you have money for diapers or not - they'll just sit in their own mess in their underwear and not give 2 rips about it.............

what do you suggest if the candy bribery doesn't work? why even be that nice at all? maybe the OP should just stop this enablement nonsense altogether and give him a good beating with a belt everytime he poops anywhere but the toilet......(I'm being very sarcastic)

let's try to be supportive, eh?

and in case anyone is wondering, my two kids were fully toilet trained (pee and poop) by the time they were 2 years 6 months old - apparently a miracle for boys! I thanked my lucky stars when it happened because it could have been a lot different.......

CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2006

Just wondering how many kids The Commuter has?

The first two kids trained easily. I got # 3 to start potty training this summer....I hope. This one is a girl, hope it goes just as easy!

Good luck