My ALMOST 5 year old refuses to poop on the potty!

Nurses General Nursing

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O.K.....I really need your help on this one. My son will be 5 in March and I cannot convince him to do the deed on the potty. I have tried just about everything except super gluing him to the seat! He urinates regularly, since he was 3. He has pooped on the potty about 4 times in his life and I made a HUGE deal about what a big boy he was. I am afraid if I push him too hard, I might do some mental damage:uhoh3: . I have a 15 month old daughter, too. I am sick of diapers! Someone please tell me I won't be wiping his butt forever!:imbar Thanks in advance!

You have a 5 year old child who refuses to defecate at the toilet?? I'm sorry, but that is so ridiculous. Since you're the parent, you must have enabled this behavior to occur continually over the past 2 or 3 years. Since I grew up in a lower socioeconomic bracket, my parents would not have ever tolerated the excess money spent on diapers and other materials.

I would try bribing this child with candies to get him to start pooping at the toilet. Two years of unneccesary diaper changes just seems incredible. My post might sound harsh, but it is my honest opinion. Your child will continue to do whatever he is enabled to, including pooping in diapers at your expense and effort.

I almost laughed myself out of my chair when I read your post! You obviously do not have children!

To the OP this is a fairly common problem. I once read that young Children may be afraid to "poop" on the potty because they feel like they are loosing a part of themselves (like a body part falling off). Also if your son has had problems with constipation or painful BM's this could be part of the problem as well. Big Boy underwear and Stickers worked for my son. Hang in there-He will comply eventually!

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Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.

Had similar issue with youngest child---too busy playing to stop and use BR 13 years ago. Part of the problem is that the diapers/pull ups are SO ABSORBANT they do not feel wet to the skin. Easier to go in them than to use the toilet.

My solution: changed to regular underwear since he was a "big boy now" and let him feel wetness/stool. Within two weeks, he was using toilet.

Yes I put up with damp rugs, and multiple change underwear and pants but solved problem. Make sure giving enough fruits/vegetables, decrease milk and cheese so no straining needed too.

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Specializes in ER, NICU.

Well, I don't think the commuter's post was ridiculous.

I have FOUR kids and I DO think parents enable kids to keep up this sort of behavior.

Refuse to use a toilet at FIVE?

Come on people.

It IS NOT such a "common problem" it is just that those who can't get their kids to do what they are supposed to do are enabling each other into thinking this type of behavior in a FIVE year old is NORMAL.

It's because parents put up with sort of "crap". Five year olds are NOT stupid you know. You get ALOT of attention from being FIVE an pooping in your pants.

Now if the kid has some physical disorder....that is a whole different ballgame.

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Specializes in ER, NICU.

I've read forums where the young "new" moms say: "Oh, if I force it he will be traumatized"....what a crock.

Maybe it is the mom/dad that will be traumatized if they have to spend three straight days PAYING CLOSE attention to the kid 24 hours a day.

Sometimes that is what it takes to get one to potty train.

You have to be smarter than the 3 - 5 year old.

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Specializes in ICU.

this thread is closed for moderator review. if you feel someone has made a comment that is too harsh please report it rather than attacking the person.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Well, I don't think the commuter's post was ridiculous.

I have FOUR kids and I DO think parents enable kids to keep up this sort of behavior.

Refuse to use a toilet at FIVE?

Come on people.

It IS NOT such a "common problem" it is just that those who can't get their kids to do what they are supposed to do are enabling each other into thinking this type of behavior in a FIVE year old is NORMAL.

It's because parents put up with sort of "crap". Five year olds are NOT stupid you know. You get ALOT of attention from being FIVE an pooping in your pants.

Now if the kid has some physical disorder....that is a whole different ballgame.

Thank you, Jerico, for your refreshingly common-sense post. I am in total agreement with everything you have stated in your post.
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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
You have to be smarter than the 3 - 5 year old.
Exactly. :rolleyes:

Children, if allowed, will become master manipulators.

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I have three kids (2 pottytrained) and while I don't rush them they were pottytrained completely between 3 and 3.5 years old. Years ago it was common to try to get babies out of diapers well before 2, now the trend is the opposite. Witness the appalling display of diapers and pull ups at the supermarket, some going up to 60 lbs! 60!

My oldest had no problems peeing in the potty by age 3 but would hide and poop in her pants. This went on for a few months and I tried EVERYTHING. Finally I just had to spend hours sitting with her after meals and/or watchig her CLOSELY all day for signs of impending defecation and spirit her away to the potty. It was a real PITA but that's what it takes sometimes.

That said, while I agree a developmentally appropriate healthy five year old should be pooping the in toilet by now, I think The Commuter's post was unnecessarily harsh in tone.

Well, I don't think the commuter's post was ridiculous.

I have FOUR kids and I DO think parents enable kids to keep up this sort of behavior.

Refuse to use a toilet at FIVE?

Come on people.

It IS NOT such a "common problem" it is just that those who can't get their kids to do what they are supposed to do are enabling each other into thinking this type of behavior in a FIVE year old is NORMAL.

It's because parents put up with sort of "crap". Five year olds are NOT stupid you know. You get ALOT of attention from being FIVE an pooping in your pants.

Now if the kid has some physical disorder....that is a whole different ballgame.

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Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.

Commuter's post was a bit harsh, but I agree with the basic thought contained therein: A normal five year old should be fully potty trained; if not, it has become a power issue.

I don't hold with the new-age psychobabble about "self-esteem" being the all-important factor is seems to have become in today's society. Parents need to parent, and kids need to learn correct behavior. using the potty is one of those learned behaviors.

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Specializes in OB/GYN,L&D,FP office,LTC.

My kids are 27,24,22.

When it was time for potty training I put them in "training pants",they were a little thicker than underwear. There were many accidents but they learned what they were supposed to do.All chrildren train at different ages,but,5years old?I don't understand why kids are so much older these days when they train.I started when mine were 2 yrs old.The child that was most difficult to train was done by 3 years old.My kids learned that they didn't like wet,poopy ,pants.

Just my 2 cents.

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Specializes in ER, NICU.
Commuter's post was a bit harsh, but I agree with the basic thought contained therein: A normal five year old should be fully potty trained; if not, it has become a power issue.

I don't hold with the new-age psychobabble about "self-esteem" being the all-important factor is seems to have become in today's society. Parents need to parent, and kids need to learn correct behavior. using the potty is one of those learned behaviors.

The psychobabble about self esteem comment is right ON. In the 70s-80s-90s parents were so brainwashed into thinking we should all be child centered, not hurt their little "self esteems"to the detriment of the very children we love. Where has it gotten society? Kids are not any better off.

A good leader (parent) isn't there to be liked, they are there to raise a child who can cope with adversity.

If you teach a child everything should be "fair", if a parent teaches a child everything should go their way "in their own time", the child is going to be sadly mistaken and not cope well in REAL life.

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Specializes in ER, NICU.
My kids are 27,24,22.

When it was time for potty training I put them in "training pants",they were a little thicker than underwear. There were many accidents but they learned what they were supposed to do.All chrildren train at different ages,but,5years old?I don't understand why kids are so much older these days when they train.I started when mine were 2 yrs old.The child that was most difficult to train was done by 3 years old.My kids learned that they didn't like wet,poopy ,pants.

Just my 2 cents.

Yup. Make them clean up their stinky, goopy, pooped pants once or twice and they'll soon learn NOBODY likes pooped pants.

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