Most off the wall complaint

Published

In the "not all heros wear capes" thread there were a few funny/off the wall student visits! Put your best ones here!

I had a student tell me that her earlobes felt squishy. I told her "That's not a thing"

Another told me that it felt like all her bones were turning to mush. She seemed to walk into my office just fine. Not at all mushy.

Surprisingly, both of these were the last couple weeks of school one year ;)

Specializes in Home Health,Dialysis, MDS, School Nurse.
"My head hurts. I think my pigtails are too tight."

10th grade girl. Neither one of us could keep a straight face as I shooed her back to class.

10th grade BOY came in c/o headache (with his 80's mullet in a pony).

Me: Well, your ponytail is probably too tight.

Him: *looks at me like I just told him state secrets* Really? That's a thing?

Me: Yep. Take it out, give your hair a shake and go back to class.

Him: Ok!

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"My sister was sick and she got to stay home for days. Now I have what she had."

me: what did she have?

"I don't know, but we're twins so I must have it too"

me: But are you ill?

"No, but my sister was"

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Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.
"My sister was sick and she got to stay home for days. Now I have what she had."

me: what did she have?

"I don't know, but we're twins so I must have it too"

me: But are you ill?

"No, but my sister was"

Ha! None of my twins have pulled that yet. However, I have one pair where if I see one I will normally see the other one within 24 hours for something totally different. I have a TON of twins here. I think the incoming freshman class has at least 8-10 pairs.

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Kid: "Me and a friend cut a big tree down yesterday and it fell on my leg. It might be broken."

Me: "Where did it hit you?"

Kid: "Right here just under my knee"

Me: "Can I see it?"

*lifts pant leg up*

Me: "Well, it looks just fine to me..." :cautious:

Kid: "Well, I had really thick pants on when it fell. It didn't hurt yesterday but it does today."

Me: "Oh well then, here's an icepack. You can go back to class now"

*kid skips out of office*

:bored:

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Specializes in IMC, school nursing.

Had a student come in saying she hit her head. Mom has ID'd her as chronic liar. The student starts acting like she is about to pass out and can't remember anyone's name, orientation questions or anything. Call mom, tell her I am about to call 911, mom states she was minutes from school. Girl continues her Oscar performance. Next day she plays it up, states she couldn't remember any of her classmates names and had to study her yearbook to know who was who, including the new girl she correctly named who wasn't in the yearbook. Doctor's note cleared her without concussion. Status Dramaticus TERMINUS

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Had a student come in saying she hit her head. Mom has ID'd her as chronic liar. The student starts acting like she is about to pass out and can't remember anyone's name, orientation questions or anything. Call mom, tell her I am about to call 911, mom states she was minutes from school. Girl continues her Oscar performance. Next day she plays it up, states she couldn't remember any of her classmates names and had to study her yearbook to know who was who, including the new girl she correctly named who wasn't in the yearbook. Doctor's note cleared her without concussion. Status Dramaticus TERMINUS

Awesome.

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Kindergartner came running in crying hard and saying his ribs are broke as he is holding his right side. I rush over, help him up onto the cot and lift his shirt. No marks, nothing noted. I ask if he fell or got hit. He says no, but still hysterical. I finally get him to explain why he thinks his ribs are broke....He says "because they stop right here and don't go all the way down!" :laugh: Trying to keep a straight face, I tell him to feel his other side and see that those ribs don't go all the way down either. He instantly stops crying and says "oh, I don't need ribs there?" No, you don't need ribs there. You are perfectly fine, exactly the way God made you :up:

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

OK, this is not from a kid, but one of my whackiest residents had a different bedside table put in his room, with a crank to raise/lower it instead of the plastic under-the-side handle you grip to do the same thing. He came out in the hallway and told me 'I don't want to look at that chrome thing when I get up and go to the bathroom at night'. 'That chrome thing'? The crank handle. On the table. Yeah, obviously a big problem.

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Sooo...I've had the same student come to me twice this week because his nose hurt. He has a small pimple. Yes, he is special Ed.

Boy tells me "it looks like I've been looking at the sun, but I haven't"- figured out he was having a migraine.

A girl came in today "frieking out" because she didn't know what flavor of skittle her friend gave her. Wanted me to send her to the hospital because she can't breath(don't you love that one), and is going to die. Same girl is upset we won't let her use the elevator due to the foot she broke on the second day of school jumping down the stairs that no longer requires crutches or a brace.

Got called out of a meeting at another school to come change a diaper for a sped student:mad: I am the only nurse for 5 schools and there is not even a health aide at the high school right now, like I have time to drop everything and change diapers....

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Specializes in Sub-Acute, School Nursing, Dialysis.

I love this!! So I already posted about the sixth grader with c/o his mouth feeling slimy. I had a student last year and one this year stating their tongue hurts. A kindergarten student this year whose belly button really, really hurts. And my most favorite, a third grader requesting for me to clean her bear because he got dirty at recess. That is no reason to see the nurse and yes, the teacher knew and sent her

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.
"I started sweating when I ran"

Gawd that's hilarious! Sounds like quite the medical emergency to me...

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Specializes in School nurse.

Teacher comes in before the start of the day yelling "I have indigestion!!!!"

Me: internal eye roll. "good morning, would you like tums?"

teacher: yelling "Yes but they make me gag"

Me: " okaaay here you go" Give her 3.

Teacher: dumps all three in her mouth and starts to jog around my office with the garbage can chewing and gagging the whole time.

Me: calmly starts to eat oatmeal that is floating in milk and has chunks of fruit in it.

Teacher: hopping on one foot, yelling, your gonna make me puke all over your desk.

Me: still eating oatmeal, "good, then I can go home"

Cant make this stuff up.

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