Most off the wall complaint

[kidzcare]

In the "not all heros wear capes" thread there were a few funny/off the wall student visits! Put your best ones here!

I had a student tell me that her earlobes felt squishy. I told her "That's not a thing"

Another told me that it felt like all her bones were turning to mush. She seemed to walk into my office just fine. Not at all mushy.

Surprisingly, both of these were the last couple weeks of school one year

[NanaPoo]

I had a new first grader who had a tummy ache who said with a flat affect, "I think I ate a poison pop-tart."

I said, "Maybe you shouldn't eat any more poison pop-tarts, then."

He said, "well, aren't they all poison?"

"Ohhhh, I see." He's been hearing THAT talk about preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, blah, blah, blah...it's all poison. Not that I disagree but let's be careful how we speak around our literal babies.

At the end of our visit I tell him he'll be feeling better soon and he says (again with the world's flattest affect), "I'll probably just die from cancer in the hospital."

This kid slays me.