More important to lay low or fit in?

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Hey all,

So i'm in an LPN program in the evenings. I'm in my early 30's. I work full time and the program is accelerated so it certainly feels like full time too! It's 3 nights a week from 3:50-10:10 and one weekend clinical a month (8 hours both days)

The thing is that I feel like I don't "fit in" anywhere. There are some pretty obvious divides in the class. There's the group of young'ns ;) who are fresh out of high school. There are the "mean girls" who aren't really THAT mean but they are a lil rough and i try to steer clear. There's a very tight knit group (with a couple people that work together too) that always seem to be laughing, getting decent grades, and enjoying themselves (even getting together outside of school on occasion) The rest of us are just sort of stragglers. I'm always pleasant and friendly, and make it a point to get along with everyone. but i don't have an ally, you know? There is someone in my clinical group that i get along really well with (or at least i did first term clinicals) Assuming we end up in the same clinical groups for term 2 (just started 2 weeks ago) hopefully that will be the same. For now she's with the young'n group while we're doing academics, though we're still chatty and friendly of course.

I just wonder how "in" i should make an effort to be. I am doing ok as is- I got good grades last term (made honors) and my sanity is for the most part intact ;) I just wonder if I'm missing out by not being part of a GROUP. I feel like the better support system you have in school with people go through the same program you are the more likely you are to survive. But i don't want to force it.

any thoughts?? thanks!! :)

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Specializes in Medical-Surgical/Float Pool/Stepdown.

You're out of high school so it is best to leave those days behind. Focus on you and if you make friends in your program along the way then those friendships may prove to be way more valuable in the long term during the program and then once you graduate. Keep your eye on the prize, everything else is a distraction (albeit a good or bad distraction, but a distraction none the less). Good luck!

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Specializes in Critical Care Transport, Cardiac ICU, Rapid.

I think it'd be best to try and make friends with your cohort, you'll be with this group for quite a bit of time and you'll lean on each other during the roughest of times when you need the motivation and encouraging words

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Specializes in ICU.

Stay out of the groups and cliques. It's not worth it especially when they end up stabbing each other in the back which I can guarantee will happen. Don't be the one they stab.

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I like to avoid the immature individuals. Don't need the drama. I found a few good friends, and I get along with most of my classmates. I think having friends in nursing school makes the experience easier and more enjoyable.

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I'm a pretty shy person but I've made a great group of friends in my program. There's no drama and we help each other out. A plus size to being friends with most of your cohort is the networking opportunities that comes later :)

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Specializes in Ortho.

Join with those who will be successful, not the "hip crowd".

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Stay out of the groups and cliques. It's not worth it especially when they end up stabbing each other in the back which I can guarantee will happen. Don't be the one they stab.

This - 100%!

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Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

I guess you have to decide if fitting in is important to you. I'm your age. It isn't important to me. I get along well with everyone but I don't belong to a group. I feel like the situation works out for me because if I need something there's always someone to help, and I reciprocate that and also pay it forward and help whenever anyone needs me. But I don't like study groups, I don't like walking slowly together all over campus and having to spend a lot of time accompanying people around when I could be studying, running errands, getting a workout in, or whatever. I have a lot of friends outside nursing school and a big family, so I think that is why I feel that way. When class gets out, I run off and do my own thing and I just love that freedom so much

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Specializes in Med-Tele; ED; ICU.

Just be yourself and don't try to force anything. You're not missing out on much by not being part of a group.

You will naturally be placed into groups through clinicals and group assignments but that will take care of itself so long as you are respectful, genuine, diligent, and helpful.

My approach has long been to avoid being part of any group but seek to be on good terms with members of every group.

(Full disclosure: I was a middle-aged, 2nd-career man when I went to nursing school.)

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You can be friendly with everyone, without becoming best of friends with any particular person or group. You can be the one to initiate a study group for everyone. Just know that not everyone takes study groups seriously. I would navigate to those who are doing well in class and who seem serious.

And by the way... I am SUPER jealous of your school schedule. My LPN program was M-F pretty much from 7am-7pm. I had class or clinicals every day! It too was an accelerated program. It was tough, I was one of the youngest in my class, and I barely made any friends. In fact I don't still talk to ANY of my fellow classmates. However, when I was in school I was friendly with everyone and managed to stay out of the cliques.

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I feel ya. I am one of the older students. Groups are good because you can get study guides but if you hold your own, you'll be fine. I did not have time for groupies when I went to school and I am a homebody so I don't care about hanging out with people. If you like being friends with people, just go start chatting with them. :)

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