Mommies of pre-schoolers, need your advice

[WickedRedRN]

Everyone, I am at my wits end and need help!! I swear I can feel the threads unravelling on my rope. I am a PT pre-nursing student, married, work FT, and have 4 yo daughter. My FT job, I work from 8-430pm, pick up daughter and come home. Hubby works 2nd shift 3-11. Problem is, HOW do I get my daughter to understand I need to study. The evening is hectic with dinner and bath time. I always try to get some story time in there too. It never fails when I think I might get some study time in earlier in the evening, winds up being an ordeal! I get mad because no matter how much I try to impress upon my daughter that I need to be left along for a little bit, she just cannot do it. I am so tired of trying to cram my study time in from 9 to 11pm. After hubby comes home, no study time there either.

I swear it's days like these that I question if I will even be able to make it through clinicals. I am down to 2 pre-reqs left, micro and advanced physio. I found them at times I can fit in my schedule, but now I cannot find a sitter to watch her. AAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire

Any advice, or help? Am I being selfish? A bad mommy? I think I will go to the tub for a bit and cry (which of course, daughter will be knocking on the door the whole time)

[snuggy]

I'm a SAHM to 4 kids, and I'm terrified just thinking about what it's going to be like to take two classes this semester. I can't imagine what you must feel like with trying to juggle work, home, kids and school! No advice, but lots of empathy! :chuckle

[WickedRedRN, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the help and support everyone!! Some days it just feels overwhelming and I let it get to me. I am at the end of summer session finals crunch, so the pressure is intense right now. I just keep telling myself to get through this week and I get a 2 week break...can't wait!!!

[jeepgirl, LPN, NP]

Hi everybody... I'm a new GN, so I kind of know what you're going through.

I went back to school when I was seventeen and my baby was 5 weeks old. So, she's not used to me not being in school! She's three now.

My thing with her is I always spent time with her immediately when I came home at night, and I always tried to "present" when she was around... I always tried to be attentive.

One thing that helped me was to let my husband give her her baths and get her ready for bed, and then I would spend time with her at night (holding, rocking, playing or reading... pretty much whatever she wanted!) and then I studied... I usually stayed up pretty late. :-)

I decided this early on: it was more important for me to have time with my little girl than to be an "A" student. I had the ability. But when I studied evening and all night, I had lost precious time with my baby. I would much rather have a "B" in a nursing class than have an "A" and have lost precious time with my family.

Life goes on while you are in nursing school! i met and got married to my husband after I had already started school... I got married on Saturday, and I had my nursing final on Monday afternoon!

It is hard to not want to focus on school and put family aside. But you have to consciously tell yourself "School can always wait!" Babies always grow up too quickly... and even if you're a SAHM, you'll wonder where the time went. The same goes for nursing school... so always try to "be there" for your family, even if you have to sacrifice your school performance. You gotta prioritize!

[veteranRN]

What I did was set up a strict routine starting with supper, bath, snack, story and bed. I made sure they were in bed by 7:00 (easier to do when it is winter). I eliminated naps during the day if this kept them up later at night. Then I had 2-3 hours to study at night after they went to bed.

[alexillytom]

When I first started school my kids were 8,6, and 2. I also ran an at home daycare. I took two classes, one distance and one early Sat. mornings. I started out trying to study during nap time, and while the kids were at their activities. That worked for me until I started adding tougher classes to my schedule, especially the sciences. I required more uninterrupted study time for Chem and A&P. I always incorporate one distance learning class into my schedule because this allows me to spend more time at home and I find them to be a bit easier. When I had to go back to work full-time, outside of the home, I luckily found a job that is very low stress. I can even catch up on some reading while I am there. Also, I started limiting my kids outside activities to one per child. My husband gets home first so he does homework. I cook dinner, we eat, then spend some family time together. The youngest goes to bed first, then the other two. They are all in bed by 8:30pm. I then spend at least an hour with my husband. 9:30pm -midnight is my study time. I study while I am in the bath, then I go to my computer and type up or highlight any important information.

I have found that it is really important that my family know they are the most important thing in my life. It's funny how the little extra minutes you give to your family will help them deal with the commitment we have to make to our education.

Now, this is what works for me while doing my prereqs. We all know that Nursing School is a totally different thing

[herring_mom2]

I'm in the same boat!! I'm married, have a 6 yr. old and a 2 yr. old, work full time and am a part time student. I'm wrestling with a little person right now over the use of this keyboard!!! AGGGHHHH!!! Sorry, I don't have any real advice for you....I just cram in the study time whenever I can (usually while I'm at work!). keep focusin g on your goals!!

are you able to be there for your six year old as it relates to school?

[landonsles]

I'm sitting here right now with my two yr old fast asleep in my lap (it's kinda hard to type one handed). This is my first semester of nursing school and first semester back at school since 1999. My husband works retail, so alot of times he is not here at night. These are the things that I do to study:

--Play DVD's--my son loves Baby songs and the Wiggles

--I will sit on the floor and read while he colors (somehow just being on the floor with him is enough sometimes)

--I will lay in bed beside him while I read. He usually gets bored and will fall right to sleep.

--I usually record stuff and listen to it on the hour drive to/from school. That helpd alot!!

It's funny how kids adapt, and also how much they pick up at such a young age. I talk aloud to myself all the time--usually listing the things I need to do. The other day I said, "Landon, know what I have to do?" He said in his little two yr old voice, "study"!

[nursingismydream]

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby works 3-11 also. We have three children ages 10, 8, and 5. I work part-time and attend school full-time. We have a bedtime at 8:00pm and I try to cram as much in as I can between the time they go to bed and the time dh gets home. I take my books everywhere. Even to my moms on Thanksgiving and work. I wish I could help you. But other then that, and a lot of prayer, I don't. I do mange to keep straight A's, but the bad thing is that my house is never clean, laundry never caught up and I get no sleep. I guess the best motivation is looking at these three little angels and knowing that someday it will all be over. It will not only benefit me but them as well.

[eagnd]

although I Didnt Go Back To School Until I Had Teenagers It Is Very Stressful...as You Learn In School One Of The Most Important Things Is To Prioritize (sp) If A Child Is Very Demanding Sometimes Even A Half Hour Of Full Attention Will Benefit And Satisfy Their Needs..give Them And Activity In Which They Think They Are Helping You Works Too. I Remember One Of Our Daughters Stating "if You Would Just Stop And Play One Game Of Cards It Would Be Fun" That Was A Real Eye Opener For Me........and I Made It A Habit...good To Have Some Time For Fun....school Is Very Important And Soon You Will Be Working With Your Degree.....but Your Child (children) Will Be That Much Older...great Idea, If Possible, To Ask A Family Member Or Close Friend For Help..all Of My Best..........

[Achoo!, LPN]

I have a 4 and 6 year old. When they get home form school we all have "homework time". My 6 year old does his math or reading, my 4 year old draws or colors, and I study. Sometimes it's only 1/2 hour but it helps.

[smk1, LPN]

i had my last final today and went straight to the craft store and loaded up on beads yarn, construction paper, paints etc... I vow that next semester WILL be better. I know i am gonna come out of A&P with a "B" which irritates me because i know if i can ge more quiet study time i would have an "A". (also its only the second non A i will get in 1.5 yrs) I firmly believe projects will be the answer. she can paste pictures and glitter and everything else onto some paper and make a collage. Hubby is going to help me section off a portion of our yard for a mini playground. Im going to the junkyard and get a few monster truck tires and by a few outdoor toys from walmart and call it Olivia's playground. Hopefully this will help. Oh and what is with tantrums reappearing the day the kid hits 4? she has only just turned for (1 month ago) but we may as well call it the fearsome fours! She has had more tantrums in this month than in her entire life! I am so stressed out because i am not used to this behavior. So my winter break will be completely occupied getting her attitude back into shape.

[kesneysmom]

My daughter is 3. I am a school nurse and going through school distance learning. Her daycare does not close until 6:00pm. I take her at 8:15am and work until 3:20pm I then stay at work until 5:30 to study 2-3 times a week, that way when I actually do pick her up from daycare the rest of the evening is all about family time. She is to young to understand what "studying" means, I tried what you are doing and quickly learned there was no way to study while she was around. Hope this helps