Mommies of pre-schoolers, need your advice

TLC RN · Jul 28, 2004

I feel your pain :) I have an almost 5 year old and am a single mom. I skip go to be a half hour earlier at night and get up an hour earlier in the morning to study while he is still asleep. I also invested in the a cleaning lady to cover the cleaning of my house it is only 65 bucks every two weeks and saves me tons of time. I use plastic forks and paper plates to decrease the time I spend washing dishes. When my mom is over watching my son while I am at school she will do my laundry if I put it out for her. (I know, I know....spoiled BIG TIME :)) In the evening, if I really want a bit of time, I may use a half hour video and take the time he is watching to do what I need. On Friday nights, I usually put in a Disney move and sit next to him and the popcorn and study the entire movie. I also have been seen sitting up in his playhouse with a book in my lap, while he is pretending to drive his "spaceship". I take him to the park and can read while he plays. Other times I ask my friend to take him to a "special move" or dinner so I can put some time in studying. These are the things I do if I need the time when he is awake to study. But for the most part, I try to do the bulk of my hardcore quite time studying when he is asleep.

ayndim · Jul 28, 2004

Everyone, I am at my wits end and need help!! I swear I can feel the threads unravelling on my rope. I am a PT pre-nursing student, married, work FT, and have 4 yo daughter. My FT job, I work from 8-430pm, pick up daughter and come home. Hubby works 2nd shift 3-11. Problem is, HOW do I get my daughter to understand I need to study. The evening is hectic with dinner and bath time. I always try to get some story time in there too. It never fails when I think I might get some study time in earlier in the evening, winds up being an ordeal! I get mad because no matter how much I try to impress upon my daughter that I need to be left along for a little bit, she just cannot do it. I am so tired of trying to cram my study time in from 9 to 11pm. After hubby comes home, no study time there either.
I swear it's days like these that I question if I will even be able to make it through clinicals. I am down to 2 pre-reqs left, micro and advanced physio. I found them at times I can fit in my schedule, but now I cannot find a sitter to watch her. AAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire
Any advice, or help? Am I being selfish? A bad mommy? I think I will go to the tub for a bit and cry (which of course, daughter will be knocking on the door the whole time)

I am a little different situation because I am a SAHM. But it is still hard for mine. Mine seem to be happy playing in the background while I study. Yeah right. I have a teenager come in for 4 hours and I pay her 20 bucks. Basically she just plays with them. Depending on money I will have her in anywhere form 2-3 times per week. It has helped me alot.

emme2004 · Jul 28, 2004

Everyone, I am at my wits end and need help!! I swear I can feel the threads unravelling on my rope. I am a PT pre-nursing student, married, work FT, and have 4 yo daughter. My FT job, I work from 8-430pm, pick up daughter and come home. Hubby works 2nd shift 3-11. Problem is, HOW do I get my daughter to understand I need to study. The evening is hectic with dinner and bath time. I always try to get some story time in there too. It never fails when I think I might get some study time in earlier in the evening, winds up being an ordeal! I get mad because no matter how much I try to impress upon my daughter that I need to be left along for a little bit, she just cannot do it. I am so tired of trying to cram my study time in from 9 to 11pm. After hubby comes home, no study time there either.
I swear it's days like these that I question if I will even be able to make it through clinicals. I am down to 2 pre-reqs left, micro and advanced physio. I found them at times I can fit in my schedule, but now I cannot find a sitter to watch her. AAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire
Any advice, or help? Am I being selfish? A bad mommy? I think I will go to the tub for a bit and cry (which of course, daughter will be knocking on the door the whole time)

I completely understand what you are going through. I am 30 years old, married, and I have a 4 year old daughter. I work part time and school full time. Whatever time I have left in my day is spent with my daughter. The only time I have to study is after she goes to bed, and by that time I am zonked. I realize that it is going to be more difficult once I start my nursing classes next semester. I want you to know that you are not alone. I know that it is hard. You give time to your daughter, your husband, school, and work. After all is said and done there is no time left for you, but I truly believe that it will get better. You are not being selfish or a bad mom. What you are doing now will benefit your family for the better and your daughter will see that. I think that you are being a positive role model for your daughter. She will see how hard you are working. It will all be worth it in the end.:)

smk1, LPN · Jul 28, 2004

im a SAHM married with a 3.5 yr old. All day long its "mommy can i" or "mommy i need" or "wahhh i have an owie, kiss it" and on and on and on! i study late at night or in interrupted spurts during the day when i get too frazzled my hubby will take her to the park for an hour or two sometimes in the evening. Or i drop her off at grandmas for a day so i can get some in depth time in.

Berta · Jul 28, 2004

I am in the same boat. My kids are 9 & 4. I cannot afford to pay a sitter so that I can study. I have come up with a few solutions....I hope they help you.

I find that trying to study while my kids are around is pretty much a big waste of time. They interupt me for each and every little thing. I usually end up rereading the same thing over and over again. Four hours of studying with kids is equal to 1/2 hr studying without kids.

I stay at school (library) each day an extra hour to study. My mom will watch my youngest only while I am at school.

I get up real early in the morning so that I can get all my chores done, so that when I come home all I have to do is cook supper, spend time with the kids, bathe them and send the 4 y/o to bed by 7 and 8pm for my 9 y/o. I "go to bed" at 7pm and read until 9pm. My 9 y/o comes in at 8pm for me to go tuck her in bed. This works best for me.

Lastly, I bring my notes or my book with me wherever I go to squeeze in a little study time. I usually get a 1/2hr in while waiting for my daughter to be dismissed from school. Parent cars line up and wait for their kids at the end of the school day. My 4 y/o usually falls asleep and I can study.

RN2B2009 · Jul 28, 2004

As a working mother of a 7-year old I know how hard it is to do it all. I'm glad I didn't try this when he was 4.

All I can say is don't try to study during the only time of the day you have with her. Use some of the great ideas listed in the posts above. Being a good parent is more important than pulling A's. My biggest goal is to get through school without the regret of not being a Mom to my son or "missing out" on these special years. I'm a perfectionist so let me tell you how hard it is to not go for that golden A every time, but this would sacrifice too much.

Good luck!

EMTtoRN · Jul 28, 2004

Hey my DH works 3-11 too. My daughter is pretty independent and so she plays but I have a job where I can study there which is VERY helpful!!!

HisTreasure, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2004

My situation is different because I go to school full time and I am married, but (thank God) I was able to stop working for the time being to focus on school. However, I do have 3 children under 3...and that is no cakewalk either!:uhoh21: PBS Kids, Disney Channel, and the DVD player have become my allies in the past month, even though I have NEVER been a big advocate of television watching for children under 5 (until Nursing school!). Anyhow, I just wanted to tell you that with God all things are possible. I wish you luck!

lisamc1RN, LPN · Jul 28, 2004

I feel your pain. I have been trying to type out my notes from today's lectures for the last 2 hours. My 2 year old has been very demanding. I have 2 pages typed and a lonnnngggg way to go! Sigh....

deja614 · Jul 29, 2004

I'm in the same boat!! I'm married, have a 6 yr. old and a 2 yr. old, work full time and am a part time student. I'm wrestling with a little person right now over the use of this keyboard!!! AGGGHHHH!!! Sorry, I don't have any real advice for you....I just cram in the study time whenever I can (usually while I'm at work!). Just keep focusing on your goals!!

tbtc1234 · Aug 2, 2004

I'm a SAHM w/ a 1 & 3 yr old and take max load at school. I can only squeeze in spurts during the day but mainly study after they go to bed. I can see your situation is very difficult because you must work full time too. Trying to put myself in your situation, I think I would try to find other odd bits of time to study or enlist her help like with showing you flashcards or allowing you to read aloud to her whatever you're studying :chuckle . Hey, I actually did that with my 3 year old and a Microbio book and after about 3 minutes he got bored and went to play with his toys! Also, how about taping some notes and listening to them while driving, etc? You can also write study notes on some post it notes and ask your daughter to find places to put them where you might see them as you get ready for work in the morning. Maybe she is too young for that but anyhow getting her involved will make her feel like she is spending time with you and quite honestly might make her spot a toy or activity that she'd like to do instead. You are juggling so much and I know it must be very hard. Keep your head up, you're almost there:) !