Everyone, I am at my wits end and need help!! I swear I can feel the threads unravelling on my rope. I am a PT pre-nursing student, married, work FT, and have 4 yo daughter. My FT job, I work from 8-430pm, pick up daughter and come home. Hubby works 2nd shift 3-11. Problem is, HOW do I get my daughter to understand I need to study. The evening is hectic with dinner and bath time. I always try to get some story time in there too. It never fails when I think I might get some study time in earlier in the evening, winds up being an ordeal! I get mad because no matter how much I try to impress upon my daughter that I need to be left along for a little bit, she just cannot do it. I am so tired of trying to cram my study time in from 9 to 11pm. After hubby comes home, no study time there either.
I swear it's days like these that I question if I will even be able to make it through clinicals. I am down to 2 pre-reqs left, micro and advanced physio. I found them at times I can fit in my schedule, but now I cannot find a sitter to watch her. AAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire
Any advice, or help? Am I being selfish? A bad mommy? I think I will go to the tub for a bit and cry (which of course, daughter will be knocking on the door the whole time)
My daughter is 3. I am a school nurse and going through school distance learning. Her daycare does not close until 6:00pm. I take her at 8:15am and work until 3:20pm I then stay at work until 5:30 to study 2-3 times a week, that way when I actually do pick her up from daycare the rest of the evening is all about family time. She is to young to understand what "studying" means, I tried what you are doing and quickly learned there was no way to study while she was around. Hope this helps
OK, my 2 cents and it has worked! I just finished my 1st semester of nursing school with a 96% avg. I am married,(husband does very little!) work full-time, and have 3 children ages 11, 9, and 4. (gee, don't the older ones help out and make it easier??? NO. ha ha) Anyway, studying with all the kids running around is useless and like someone else said, studying 4hrs with kids = 1/2 hr without. Plan and organize your weeks - meals, chores etc. Stick to your schedule like glue. Cut corners where you can (paper plates are my best friends) I cannot keep my eyes open to study after everything has quieted down at night, so I get up at 5am. Your 4yr old cannot and will not understand the importance of study time. Don't expect it, work around it. Good luck! It can be done! Any questions, ask away! SG
Hi to all. I am a 23 year old single mother of two boys ages 7 and 4. I have been attempting to finish all of my prereqs in college since 2001. After going through this all alone, I have just been losing hope in all of this. I love nursing and I have wanted to be a nurse for a very long time, since I was a little girl. I am a product of abuse, so I am not close to my mother, and my father has never been in my life at all. My childrens father is not a reliable source to help me out with the children as I have already went that route and everytime I do it, I wind up having to drop out of school. Has anyone had to go through school without any help or support period? It is so hard trying to stay motivated when you have absolutely no support system. Its hard enough trying to raise two children alone, but when you are trying to go to school, work full time at a job that you hate, it gets hard to remain hopefull and optimistic about things. I helddown a 3.0 last semester, and then just when I thought I was getting the hang of things, I had to drop out in fall semester because I had no one to help me with the transport of my kids, and to help me with babysitting. The childrens father doesn't give support to me financially for the children either so I have to work a full time job. I am a certified medical assistant but I can't even find a job in that as they want you to have two to three years of experience in 90 percent of cases. I am just tired you know. I have quit my job at the fast food place that I was working at because I hated the job so much that I couldn't take it anymore. I was diagnosed a year ago with major depression, so I really can't afford to go back into a crisis so I just quit working there. I was going crazy at that job. I have since applied to a medical assisting job and I have had two interviews with this company, but my last interview was two weeks ago and they still haven't made a decision yet. All I want to do is become a nurse. That is all I have ever wanted to do. I know I will be so happy when I become one, but the possibility just looks so far away. My mom is a nurse and I don't even get any encouragement from her, she thinks I should be a lawyer:uhoh3: . My childrens father is totally unsupportive of what I am trying to do and he isn't helping with the children anyway so I don't look to him for any encouragement/support. I like how everyone is supportive of everyones problems on here so I decided to post this and see if I can get any ideas and support. Thank you to all who have read, I am sorry about the post being long.
i Just Read Your Post And Want To Tell You To Hang In There....first Off Dealing With Childhood Abuse Is Very Difficult, And You Have Started To Release The Anger...that Is Very Healing And Be Sure And Take Time For Yourself...even If It Is Just 5 Minutes....actually You Can Turn That Situation Around Someday And when You Are A Nurse Help Children Or Adults Deal With The Same....i Wish I Could Be There To Help You Thru School Don't Give Up On Yourself Dont Worry About A None Support Dad Even Though The Courts Are In Your Favor.......be Yourself You Sound Very Strong There Are Courses Just One At A Time And Soon You Will Be Thru. I Cant Change Your Mom But You Have A Dream Stick With It I Went Back To School At 35 To Become A Nurse And Love Every Minute Of It Look In The Mirror And Tell Yourself You Can Do It..look At Your Children They Will Be So Proud Of You All Of My Best And Keep In Touch With The Board...
Giada23, I feel for you. I was also abused as a child and that will always be a part of you. I also have no family. About school, I went through my first time (surgical tech school) as a single mom. (Now that I am in nursing school I am remarried.) My advice would be to save nursing school for when both kids are in school to miminize daycare expenses, and maximize sanity! In the meantime if you still have prereqs, I would seek out some online courses. That's what I did when I was still single doing all of this. For example, ccconline.org. You can do it alone, but you must have that mentality from the get-go. You need to get on your feet and become self sufficient enough to convince yourself that you can do it. Then, make sure you are not counting on anyone but yourself to get you through or you can have the rug pulled out from under you. Good Luck, SG
I don't have kids, but did work 3/4 time while going to school full time, and putting dh through school. He went to school full time in another city and did not work at the time.
Here are a few time-savers that helped me:
I taped lectures and listened to them on a Walkman while doing housework.
I car-pooled to clinical with class-mates. When I didn't have to drive, I used that time to study and listen to taped lectures.
Schedule classes with a couple of hours in between. Use that time to study at school.
Giada23, I feel for you. I was also abused as a child and that will always be a part of you. I also have no family. About school, I went through my first time (surgical tech school) as a single mom. (Now that I am in nursing school I am remarried.) My advice would be to save nursing school for when both kids are in school to miminize daycare expenses, and maximize sanity! In the meantime if you still have prereqs, I would seek out some online courses. That's what I did when I was still single doing all of this. For example, ccconline.org. You can do it alone, but you must have that mentality from the get-go. You need to get on your feet and become self sufficient enough to convince yourself that you can do it. Then, make sure you are not counting on anyone but yourself to get you through or you can have the rug pulled out from under you. Good Luck, SG
I totally agree with you. Part of my problem is that I have been depending on people to be totally happy and supportive of my decision of going to school to be a nurse. I have even depended on people who I know are unreliable, but then they would offer help to me again and like a fool I would accept it thinking it would be easier to accept the support of someone that I know, only for them to get mad at me or something and pull the rug right from under me. I know that this is my dream and I have to want this bad enough to make this happen but it just seems so far away from me right now. It just seems like everytime I take two steps forward, I am pushed three steps backward. I got into an argument with my kids father on Father's Day and then he comes back to my house in the middle of the night and slashes all four of my tires and steals my license plate. I have been living from pay check to pay check so I haven't been able to buy me a car, so I have been out here carless for about six months now. I don't talk to him anymore, but it just pisses me off because I am out here trying to do the right thing. I am slowly trying to get myself together and just try again. I don't think I'll ever give up on becoming a nurse because I want it too bad. I love the profession soo much and I know that I would make a good nurse, I guess I am jst impatient because I want everything to happen NOW. Thanks for your input!!!!
i Just Read Your Post And Want To Tell You To Hang In There....first Off Dealing With Childhood Abuse Is Very Difficult, And You Have Started To Release The Anger...that Is Very Healing And Be Sure And Take Time For Yourself...even If It Is Just 5 Minutes....actually You Can Turn That Situation Around Someday And when You Are A Nurse Help Children Or Adults Deal With The Same....i Wish I Could Be There To Help You Thru School Don't Give Up On Yourself Dont Worry About A None Support Dad Even Though The Courts Are In Your Favor.......be Yourself You Sound Very Strong There Are Courses Just One At A Time And Soon You Will Be Thru. I Cant Change Your Mom But You Have A Dream Stick With It I Went Back To School At 35 To Become A Nurse And Love Every Minute Of It Look In The Mirror And Tell Yourself You Can Do It..look At Your Children They Will Be So Proud Of You All Of My Best And Keep In Touch With The Board...
Thank you very much for your post. I just want to be a nurse, that is all I have ever wanted to be. Its hard being a single parent to two children, but they say only the strong survive. I will make it, I am just feeling fustrated. i feel like my dream is light years away. Thank you for your input!!!!
My youngest is 7, but she loves attention, or at least likes to be in the same room with me. lol So, while I study, I let her get on the computer. She gets on sites that her school recommends. So, as I study, she studies. :)
It works out, until she starts the, "Mommie, look at this...Mommie,what does this hard word say......." For the most part, our "study" time goes well.
I also make/buy flash cards, so I can study if I go somewhere with hubby. I record the lectures, and I type out my notes/reviews. That way I hear the lecture more than once, think about it while typing, and study from the notes whenever I get a chance.
Maybe those of you with lil' ones not in school yet could check out a "mother's day out" program near you.
I;m not a mom, but my job is taking care of 12 1-3 year olds for 3 hours 3 days a week so I think I have some idea of what you are talking about. Obviously your daughter is still at the stage where she is wary of being independent of her mommy so she is very attached. You might try to get her busy coloring, drawing, doing an art project, watching a movie, or doing a quiet activity next to you while you are studying. Every once in a while turn your head and comment on what she is doing (good job coloring, that's pretty, etc.), I don't know how long her attention span is, each kid is different, but another option would be for your husband, a neighbor, or a friend or family to take care of her at your house for a few hours so you can get something done. Make it so you close your bedroom door and letting her know that mommy is not here, they don't really understand the idea of being busy in that you are unavailabe to play with. They do understand the idea of you being gone. I also assume she goes to bed early (8pm or so) and for me at least I get the majority of my studying done after 8, so try to get some done in the evening.
I hope this helps. Toddlers are hard, but they grow up fast.
WOOSH!!!.....is the sound of my magic wand passing over you, giada 23, to make all bad things good. You must have incredible superhuman powers that the rest of us could only dream about. Not only are you dealing with the stresses of raising two children on your own, you're attempting to fulfill a dream with no support other than your own. It's easy for me to tell you to hang in there, but it must be hard for you. We're supposed to lean on our loved ones for support when we need it. But, what do you do when there is nowhere to lean and you have to continually squeeze the support sponge within yourself, even when it feels like there's nothing left and you're tapped out? I don't know. I wish I could give you that answer. They say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger....think of how proud you'll be of yourself when it's all fiiiiiiiinnnallllly done. Think about the respect your children will have for you, knowing the hardships you've had to overcome. You have an incredible network of support here on this forum - lean on US!!!!
I'm more than lucky. I'm downright blessed. I have a husband who is not only willing to take over the parenting role (and does an incredible job!! got 2 daddy's girls), he understands what sacrifices will have to be made while I pursue my dream (CRNA). God chose this life for all of us, for reasons unknown. Again, I will wave my magic wand....SWOOOSH!!!....and hope it works for you. If not, I'll continue to keep you in my prayers. :)
Like many have said before me, it's next to impossible to study with young children vying for your attention. Even though all I want to do when my girls go to sleep is do the same, I crack open the books for note reviews, read a chapter or two. . .Both of mine are still young enough to nap, so I catch some study time when they nap on weekends. Best of luck to you all!! Thanks SO much, Moms, for offering advice!!!
Everyone, I am at my wits end and need help!! I swear I can feel the threads unravelling on my rope. I am a PT pre-nursing student, married, work FT, and have 4 yo daughter. My FT job, I work from 8-430pm, pick up daughter and come home. Hubby works 2nd shift 3-11. Problem is, HOW do I get my daughter to understand I need to study. The evening is hectic with dinner and bath time. I always try to get some story time in there too. It never fails when I think I might get some study time in earlier in the evening, winds up being an ordeal! I get mad because no matter how much I try to impress upon my daughter that I need to be left along for a little bit, she just cannot do it. I am so tired of trying to cram my study time in from 9 to 11pm. After hubby comes home, no study time there either.
I swear it's days like these that I question if I will even be able to make it through clinicals. I am down to 2 pre-reqs left, micro and advanced physio. I found them at times I can fit in my schedule, but now I cannot find a sitter to watch her. AAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :angryfire :angryfire
Any advice, or help? Am I being selfish? A bad mommy? I think I will go to the tub for a bit and cry (which of course, daughter will be knocking on the door the whole time)
There is nothing wrong with having goals. I am a mom too and I had the exact same questions and frustrations. You're not a bad Mommy, nor are you being selfish. Don't feel bad for wanting/needing time for yourself to pursue school. Explain to your daughter that Mom needs a little time alone to study. Also let her know how this will benefit the family in the end. Like being able to put clothes on her back etc. Just relax and follow your heart on this issue. It will tell you what to do. :) Best of Wishes
eagnd
29 Posts
:)