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Messed up and the end of career path.

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by Forest2 Forest2 (Member) Member

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I am sitting around feeling sorry for myself today because I have put in a tremendous amount of work, energy and money in a career that still leaves me as a bedside nurse.  The current job is a long commute, long hours and I hurt so bad when I get home I can barely get up the steps to the front door. There are many negatives about the job but there is no need to go into that.  Not that it matters, because I am stuck with it.  I dreamed of being a nurse educator for patients in a hospital.  So, I went back to school , got my BSN, then my MSN as an educator.  It made no difference, I couldn't get a job.  Everything I have tried to do has failed, and believe me I have tried a lot of things, but for me nothing seems to work out.  Yep, having a real pitty party here. 

I once wrote for advice because I wasn't successful in getting a hospital job.  I got so much nasty negative feedback that I didn't come back to the site for a few years.  Comments such as, you are old and fat it's no wonder, etc.   That was a heavy spirit crusher.  So, I am hoping for kindness now.

I am envious of the many glorious success stories of happy nurses. But, not having any support financially or otherwise all my life, I guess I am doing ok.  At least I'm working, right?  I just don't know if I can make it to retirement or not.  I am fatigued mentally and physically and really disappointed in how it has all turned out.  My life's main goal is to get to work, get through my shift and get home to bed.  I do this 12 days straight then off 2, because I work two jobs right now.

Recently there were two nurses who came to the unit in order to recruit for an online nursing program, they were passing out candy and such.  One nurse said she had her doctorate.  I was so jealous, here I was at least 20 years older than she was and killing myself working at the bedside while she passes out candy.  Yea, I am sure it was just appearances, but I would have traded places in a millisecond.

I hope someone can encourage me.  I really need it.

 

 

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I think working 12 days in a row is too much for anyone. And you seem depressed.

I am not aware of the job market specific for nurse educators, but I would expect it to be tough, because the positions are highly desirable.

Teaching of any type is very tough to break into. It is ridiculously competitive. After many years of struggle, I still couldn't get a stable high school teaching job, I became an RN some 30 years ago.

My point is that not finding a teaching position is probably not your fault in any way. I don't know if that helps.

I am not sure why you are working 2 jobs far from home. There has to be some way to improve the quality of your life, or work toward your goals.

You mentioned years ago not finding a hospital job. You eventually found one, apparently, so you do know how to persist.

There must be something you are qualified for that is easier than the bedside.

Counseling or even medication might be helpful. Financial counseling as well, as it seems you are probably under extraordinary financial stress.

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WanderingWilder is a ASN and specializes in Med-Surg.

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Have you looked into clinical teaching jobs? There is a larger need for clinical instructors then lecture instructors because of the ratio requirements. What about any openings in the hospital for educators, teaching orientations? 12 days in a row is a crazy amount of hours. Can you move to a cheaper area to live in so you don't need to work as many hours? At this point you don't have time for a life and that is no way to live. I hope you are able to find something that works for you. 

Edited by WanderingWilder

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23 hours ago, Oldmahubbard said:

I think working 12 days in a row is too much for anyone. And you seem depressed.

I am not aware of the job market specific for nurse educators, but I would expect it to be tough, because the positions are highly desirable.

Teaching of any type is very tough to break into. It is ridiculously competitive. After many years of struggle, I still couldn't get a stable high school teaching job, I became an RN some 30 years ago.

My point is that not finding a teaching position is probably not your fault in any way. I don't know if that helps.

I am not sure why you are working 2 jobs far from home. There has to be some way to improve the quality of your life, or work toward your goals.

You mentioned years ago not finding a hospital job. You eventually found one, apparently, so you do know how to persist.

There must be something you are qualified for that is easier than the bedside.

Counseling or even medication might be helpful. Financial counseling as well, as it seems you are probably under extraordinary financial stress.

I think I'm tired and discouraged.  I work my 12 hours twice a week with a one hour commute each way. Then I work 8 hours the other days of the week in another job with a short 10 minute drive. Yep, I'm pretty tired and I don't have much of a life, when I'm off I try to do laundry, get groceries and do dishes.  I don't have to take care of anyone else at home but the dog.  LOL, thank goodness.  

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16 hours ago, WanderingWilder said:

Have you looked into clinical teaching jobs? There is a larger need for clinical instructors then lecture instructors because of the ratio requirements. What about any openings in the hospital for educators, teaching orientations? 12 days in a row is a crazy amount of hours. Can you move to a cheaper area to live in so you don't need to work as many hours? At this point you don't have time for a life and that is no way to live. I hope you are able to find something that works for you. 

I am a dog with a bone, I won't give up.  It just gets discouraging as I keep trying and the years go by.  I try to go on a short trip twice a year but this Spring I had to cancel because I finally got this hospital job.  At least it is something to add to the resume and I am a working nurse which I think is important.  I hope the hospital offers full time then I can reduce my hours at the other job( it is not a nurse job).  But, since I am new I better wait a little before I ask.  It is this in-between time that is wearing me out.  I sleep well most but not all the time and still don't feel rested.  Taking my vitamins and eating right, yadda, yadda, yadda. It is to the point that I need days of recuperation in a row instead of a day here and there.  But, If I can just hang in there a little longer, I pray something good happens.

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Cautionary tale. You have an MSN, and the only nursing job you can find is part-time.

There are markets that are obviously very saturated.

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13 hours ago, Oldmahubbard said:

Cautionary tale. You have an MSN, and the only nursing job you can find is part-time.

There are markets that are obviously very saturated.

I could move to the capital but I don't think it would be worth it financially or very feasible as I already own my (hopefully) retirement home and my parents are aging. I overheard one nurse mentioning how many nurses were in a NP program in the hospital where I work, it was around 40.  I'll just keep plugging away, I can't give up.

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Nurse SMS has 8 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

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I am a nurse educator in a hospital. We are soon to have an opening for a med-surg residency coordinator. I forget what your background is. Was it dialysis? Home health?

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2 hours ago, not.done.yet said:

I am a nurse educator in a hospital. We are soon to have an opening for a med-surg residency coordinator. I forget what your background is. Was it dialysis? Home health?

A million years of nursing experience and a lot of home health.  My current job isn't very rewarding, I don't get to do as much as I did in home care.  There was always something interesting going on, from cardiac to wounds, to tubes, lines, trachs, but I don't see that much now.  The part of nursing that I like most is educating aides and patients.  I love to see the light bulb go off and the self-confidence that they develop as they learn.  

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Nurse SMS has 8 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

4 Followers; 5,976 Posts; 47,447 Profile Views

I see. Patient education and tech education positions are few and far between in acute care unfortunately. You may be able to highlight any experience you have with diabetics, get certified and become a diabetic educator.

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or maybe try rehab hospital? I work in an acute rehab and my nurse educator only works in this hospital her entire nursing career. Tbh, she's not a real good educator. The only time I saw her presentation for education was just once a year during annual skills checkoff (and that was very brief), she lost my TB test record (I found out she lost it when I asked for a copy because she was the one who kept all the original documents, never gave me a copy), and she's never asked for my CPR card during my work there, which is bizarre because I thought I couldn't work if they don't have record of my CPR card(?) 

 But she got her job done, anyway, and I think that's what matters for corporate.

My point is you can try rehab hospital or LTC or even psych (sorry, I was just ranting about the nurse educator in my rehab hospital and that's irrelevant). I used to work in a psych before I jumped into rehab. I worked with a competent nurse educator during my work in psych hospital, and yes nurse educator does make difference 🙂

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