So I already turned in my resignation letter. My CNO said clearly that he's disappointed that I resigned (made me feel guilty, although we both knew that I'm replaceable,so I don't think that's an appropriate farewell). My day shift fellow nurses asked me, "why are you quitting? you know we can help you and we will help you."
The night shift nurse asked me if I can just switch to night shift instead of day shift, so then I won't stressed out too much because night is slower than day shift. Another night shift nurse told me to give it a chance try night shift before I am quitting
Then the supervisor of night shift called me and told me that if I am interested to work for night shift, she would talk to the nurse manager and CNO so I can work with her.
I am torn because yes it's tempting to work night shift.
However, another part of me is exhausted to be a part of the system. Hospital is very profit driven. I didn't sign up to be a nurse for this. I have to go against my moral ethics several times for this business. If I score admission FIM too high for patients who are perfectly capable of doing their ADLs, I get the email from administration to lower the score so they can stay longer in the hospital.
If I want to change the foam dressing on an incontinent patient who had episodes of diarrhea, I am told no by the wound care nurse because corporate begins to limit the use of foam dressings for patients.
I am heartbroken, honestly.
My hubby told me it's because I'm still kinda new in healthcare. He's used to be like me before. The first time he worked as a healthcare professional, he was frustrated by the way healthcare works. However, he said it's either we have to adapt to the system or we're quitting the profession.
I don't want to quit the profession. But I hate to become part of the system, and I hate that I am powerless because I know I won't be able to fix the healthcare system.
I'm not Mother Theresa who's gladly sacrifice herself for others. But I felt like I have to quit the job before I begin to hate nursing.
Another retired nurse told me to try volunteer for undeserved, uninsured population, and it will remind me why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place.
Another part of me is worrying if I cannot get the job later on because I quit the job too soon (less than a year) and it's already my second job. I quit the first one (less than a year) because I thought second one would be better, and they both opened my eyes very widely, that all hospitals here are money-driven.
Any thoughts? Thank you.