Men not helpful

Nurses Relations

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Hi guys,

There are are male team leaders(only male) at work who do nothing except sitting and talking and joking with staff( but without helping them) as if they are at a cafe.

Yesterday and today were heavy for me, and the team leader despite being free and roaming around as if he is on a picnic, did not help. If my patients are calling and I am busy, he just tells me that one patient called and I should see what he wanted.

Men are strong and they have bigger lung capacity and they are more powerful than us women yet they refuse to use that physical power.

They don't answer the calling bells from patients or take heavy patients to toilet.

What is the best way to handle the issue?

Should I email the charge nurse regarding the issue or tell them to move(they are senior in position to me btw)?

I think everybody should be treated equally if that makes me a feminist well then apply the label.

Anyway, on to the specific scenario. Did anybody bother to ask the guy for help or is he supposed to have a crystal ball in addition to his enhanced lung capacity?

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Sometimes I wonder if people misunderstand each other on purpose?

Why yes, I think some people do.

I believe some people operate under the misconception that being a feminist means you are some kind of rabid man-hating ****crusher :rolleyes: Others simply do their best to propogate that definition as a strategy to try to invalidate/delegitimize a feminist's viewpoint . Accuse someone of being something unflattering and you put them in a defensive position where they feel forced to explain how they don't hate men at all.

Well, I'm a feminist. And proud of it.And I loooove men :inlove:

;)

Agree, and a surprising number of people who work very hard to invalidate a feminist's viewpoint are other women.

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Mr_Edwino, I think you are nitpicking.

Yeah, I know. I'm a Virgo, so that's kind of my job.

FACT: I'm actually the winner of the "Most Annoying Person in the World Award" 41 years consecutively. They told me I can't compete for the prize anymore; the other contenders for the award are annoyed.

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Maybe it's not stereotyping...maybe they just love working with you...!!! :) :) :)
AWW well aren't you sweet? Thanks, I think I am fun to work with. Having fun makes the day go by faster. I would complain, but who cares really? :)
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What country are you in?

Looked at previous posts, claims to be Phillipines RN working in Dubai.

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I would ask them to help me, give them time, and if they refuse, let them know it is unacceptable and will be reported.

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AWW well aren't you sweet? Thanks, I think I am fun to work with. Having fun makes the day go by faster. I would complain, but who cares really? :)

:D You do sound fun to work with :D Glad you got my joke!

Yeah, in all seriousness, complaining probably wouldn't help. I'm not sure what the answer is.

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Specializes in OB, Medical-Legal, Public Health.

I'm the wife of a retired, male nurse, a CRNA. I loved calling him to the bedside for an epidural. It was fun having the patient brag about him. One mom said, "I want to kiss you husband on the mouth!" I celebrated when he was the one providing anesthesia for a C-section. I knew he would listen to the patient, manage her needs and provide the safest anesthetic for mom and baby.

I totally agree with the male nurse who said guys don't read minds, nor are they wired like women. Direct communication is best. For the first decade of our marriage I was disappointed my husband didn't anticipate or intuitively know what I needed. I learned to speak my mind.

Male/female communication patterns are also different. For example, we offer hints and expect them to respond appropriately, like us. Spell it out for him. Be direct. Pay attention to how he communicates and gets his needs met.

If I were in his shoes I'd appreciate you coming to me directly. Give him a chance to give you a hand when you ask. I hope he'll surprise you. Contacting your supervisor will cause hard feelings.

I taught clinical for a while and had some very good male students, some were veterans, others were older and pursuing a second career. They were actually easier for me than the young females, but that may be my bias. I saw no difference in bedside care or attentiveness to patients.

I totally agree with the person who suggested you aren't dealing with a gender, you are dealing with laziness. A physician explained to me once that sometimes people become "clipboard carriers" because they don't want to do the work. I'm not sure. I've never aspired to be a manager or a supervisor. The vast majority of the supervisors I've worked with, predominately female, have been excellent. There was one who was extremely lazy until our director of nurses or administrator appeared and she miraculously became the perfect nurse. I liked her as a person, but did not respect her as a co-worker.

I hope things improve for you.

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I totally agree with the male nurse who said guys don't read minds, nor are they wired like women. Direct communication is best. For the first decade of our marriage I was disappointed my husband didn't anticipate or intuitively know what I needed. I learned to speak my mind.

Male/female communication patterns are also different. For example, we offer hints and expect them to respond appropriately, like us. Spell it out for him. Be direct. Pay attention to how he communicates and gets his needs met.

I'm not sure that men are "wired" differently as much as men and women are socialized differently. Biological differences undeniaby exist, but in the case of communication, I think it's a learned behavior (nurture rather than nature). From a young age assertiveness is a trait that's encouraged in boys while (whilst? :)) girls are encouraged to "play nice" and be considerate. Nor do I think that women are better at reading minds in general. They are just better at understanding other women simply because they've been taught to communicate in a similar manner. But if the several dozen of male partners I've spent thousands of hours with on various "stakeouts" and similar (previous career) are any indication, they're not overly impressed by women's ability to understand them and read their minds. (I don't know if this applies to most men or just the ones I worked with, the guys on this thread will have to confirm or reject my conclusion). So while women may be attuned to "reading" the minds of other females, I don't think it's a universal ability.

I think direct communication is always best, regardless of the genders of the people involved. Direct communication means less risk for misunderstandings, less risk that someone feels hurt or ignored, and a greater chance that the message you're trying to send is actually received at all.

I don't know if men/some men do this (or other women for that matter), but personally I'm so averse to subtle hints that I'll sometimes pretend not to get them, simply because they annoy me. Childish, I know. But it bugs me when people can't speak their mind and simply say what they want. One time when I and one of my best childhood friends (female) were driving to attend her younger sister's wedding, we were coming up on a roadside restaurant. I was behind the wheel and she says "that looks like a nice restaurant...." Triple argghhh :facepalm: So I respond in my charming fashion... :sarcastic: Are you saying that because you admire the architecture or is that your way of saying you want to stop there for lunch? Because if you want to stop, you have about three seconds to say so before we pass the exit... I admit I wasn't being very nice, but how hard can it be to simply say "I would like to stop for lunch at that restaurant, does that work for you"? (It was a beautiful wedding and we had a great time, so no hard feelings. Oh, and the lunch was excellent at that restaurant :)).

If I were in his shoes I'd appreciate you coming to me directly. Give him a chance to give you a hand when you ask. I hope he'll surprise you. Contacting your supervisor will cause hard feelings.

I absolutely agree with this part. Most of us would appreciate if people approach us first if they have a problem with something we said or did (or didn't do). That way you have a chance to "fix" the problem. It shouldn't be escalated to management/higer-ups unless the attempt to address the problem fails (and is deemed sufficiently important to escalate).

Anyway, on to the specific scenario. Did anybody bother to ask the guy for help or is he supposed to have a crystal ball in addition to his enhanced lung capacity?

:lol2:

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
...Well, I'm a feminist. And proud of it.

And I loooove men :inlove:

;)

I think everybody should be treated equally if that makes me a feminist well then...?

I'm definitely a feminist...definitely a woman lover...by the way...is there a term that would apply to males as "feminist" applies to females? Is "masculinist" a word?

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:D You do sound fun to work with :D Glad you got my joke!

Yeah, in all seriousness, complaining probably wouldn't help. I'm not sure what the answer is.

The answer is Zen.

Ohhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

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Specializes in Emergency Department.
I'm not sure that men are "wired" differently as much as men and women are socialized differently. Biological differences undeniaby exist, but in the case of communication, I think it's a learned behavior (nurture rather than nature). From a young age assertiveness is a trait that's encouraged in boys while (whilst? :)) girls are encouraged to "play nice" and be considerate. Nor do I think that women are better at reading minds in general. They are just better at understanding other women simply because they've been taught to communicate in a similar manner. But if the several dozen of male partners I've spent thousands of hours with on various "stakeouts" and similar (previous career) are any indication, they're not overly impressed by women's ability to understand them and read their minds. (I don't know if this applies to most men or just the ones I worked with, the guys on this thread will have to confirm or reject my conclusion). So while women may be attuned to "reading" the minds of other females, I don't think it's a universal ability.

I think direct communication is always best, regardless of the genders of the people involved. Direct communication means less risk for misunderstandings, less risk that someone feels hurt or ignored, and a greater chance that the message you're trying to send is actually received at all.

I have seen complaints from women that men only notice the really "obvious" girls. But it is true because we don't do "subtle."

I was recently at a wedding and at the end of the night a girl came up to my friend and called him an A-hole (her words) as she had been trying to get him to notice her and dance (with possibly starting a relationship) with her all day. She would have been better just coming up and asking him. He would have appreciated that.

He blew it because he is an A-hole and said all the wrong things. :roflmao:

I don't know if men/some men do this (or other women for that matter), but personally I'm so averse to subtle hints that I'll sometimes pretend not to get them, simply because they annoy me. Childish, I know. But it bugs me when people can't speak their mind and simply say what they want. One time when I and one of my best childhood friends (female) were driving to attend her younger sister's wedding, we were coming up on a roadside restaurant. I was behind the wheel and she says "that looks like a nice restaurant...." Triple argghhh :facepalm: So I respond in my charming fashion... :sarcastic: Are you saying that because you admire the architecture or is that your way of saying you want to stop there for lunch? Because if you want to stop, you have about three seconds to say so before we pass the exit... I admit I wasn't being very nice, but how hard can it be to simply say "I would like to stop for lunch at that restaurant, does that work for you"? (It was a beautiful wedding and we had a great time, so no hard feelings. Oh, and the lunch was excellent at that restaurant :)).

This reminded me of my wife (of 40+ years). We were driving home from a holiday and she asked if I wanted to stop for a coffee. I pointed out - "you are driving, stop if you want one." Went all huffy with me because I would not make a decision.

Edited to add; and no, we did not stop for coffee, and that was my fault.

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