Male Patient Modesty Question

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My Experience:

I recently had a not so awesome experience regarding male patient modesty in a local hospital. It involved a trip to the ED, subsequent admission to the floor and emergency surgery with a week stay afterwards.

My Question:

Is it the general attitude of nurses in general (ED, OR, PACU, recovery, etc.) that patient modesty only matters when it is a female patient and that guys either don't care about that or that it just doesn't matter when it's a guy or did I just have a one-off bad experience?

My Request:

Yeah, it does matter! Guys might not say it, or feel uncomfortable saying it, probably out of fear of being ridiculed, or being the topic of discussion, in the break room but yeah, male patients do care about it. So I guess my request is the next time you leave a male patient uncovered for an extended period of time where everybody coming in and out of the area (not involved in their care) can see them, come into their room and just pull the covers off of them and lift up their gown and start doing stuff to them, etc. etc. maybe you take a minute and think about whether you would do the same thing to a female patient. Pretty sure I wouldn't of had the same experience if I were a female patient. And yeah; I know you're a professional, that you've seen/done it a thousand times and that checking out my "junk" isn't of any interest to you, however, I'm not a nursing professional, haven't had it done to me a thousand times and would prefer that my "junk" stay covered when you're doing something that requires it to be exposed to anybody in the area (not related to my care)!!!

Just saying...

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Did you say anything to your caregivers at the time? We weren't there.

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I did say something. On multiple occasions. I got the standard "I'm a professional, I've seen/done it a thousand times and checking out your "junk" isn't of interest to me" reply. Still doesn't explain why the curtains were left open (in multiple locations where I was) and why I was left uncovered for extended periods of time (for multiple individuals, not involved in my care, coming in and out of the area to see including family members of other patients). The response I got was rather "dismissive" actually. Like it didn't, or shouldn't, matter. Because I was a guy. It did matter! Think I'd rather just die on the side of the highway next time than go to the hospital. Again, just saying...

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

I don't feel it had to do with you being a male. I would guess it was more an issue with the people not your gender. Granted I wasn't there. This is a huge pet peeve of mine regarding any sex. If what you're saying is what happened then I 100% agree with you, and when you brought it up it absolutely should have been respected.

The ONLY time we (in the ER) tend to not pay attention to your modesty is when you're in the middle of dying. In that case I assure you that wouldn't be in a position to complain anyway. Even then when we are in an emergent situation like that as soon as we have the tubes in and body assessed we cover you. I assure you, regardless of how many memberes I have seen, it's just as awkward for me sometimes and I will try to expose you as little as possible.

That said, please remember that while you're upset and that is understandable. You're coming to a forum of primarily nurses, most likely none of us took care of you. By all means give your experience and ask your questions, but I would advise to not then turn around and try to "tell us about ourselves" and end your comment with "just sayin'" It never ends well and it completely shuts people out from taking in what you had to say.

I am sorry that was your experience. I have been there many times. I have left and sat in my car and cried because I felt so humiliated and my situation wasn't emergent that my privacy and dignity should have been thrown out the door.

It's why I became a nurse. My experiences as a patient.

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Mi Vida Loca... I wish I had of had somebody like you taking care of me. Somebody that remembers, or has had the experience of, being a patient as well as a provider. I think maybe sometimes that gets forgotten. When I was brought to the ED I definitely wasn't in a position to complain. And I understand completely why things have to be done the way they are done there. And I have no problem with that. I just wish that after they were done doing what they needed to do, and it was an emergent situation, they would have covered me up. Or closed the curtains. Or something. In the ED, after I got out of the OR and was in the PACU and recovering. Anywhere. I mean no disrespect. And I hope I didn't come across as disrespectful. I have been to the hospital before, several times, and had a completely different experiences. Which is why I posted this here. I'm wondering if things have changed. Because I did sit in my car when I was discharged and try to twist my head around it. Because it was humiliating. I'm not upset by the way, just a little shocked by the apparent lack of concern for patient modesty when you're a guy. Or at least that was the feeling I was left with. Right or wrong. Anyway, I'm glad there are people like you out there. Hopefully if I ever do have to go to the hospital under similar circumstances it will be in a facility where professionals like you are found. Thank you for your reply too.

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It would be erroneous to assume that it has anything to do with your gender and that one experience accurately represents all hospitals/personnel.

That said, I'd follow up with the hospital - make a formal complaint so that this issue is addressed.

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Hi ItsThatJenGirl... I don't want to get anybody in trouble. And I'll get over it. So no, probably not going to say anything. Other than ask my question here. Like I said to Mi Vida Loca, I have been in the hospital several times before and have never had an experience like this before. The nursing staff was extremely professional and treated all patients with respect and honored their requests in this area (male or female). Which I guess is why I was so taken back by my last experience. It did, however, get me thinking and make me ask here if this is a prevailing attitude when it comes to patient modesty when it's a male patient as opposed to a female patient.

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Specializes in PACU, pre/postoperative, ortho.
I have been in the hospital several times before and have never had an experience like this before. The nursing staff was extremely professional and treated all patients with respect and honored their requests in this area (male or female). Which I guess is why I was so taken back by my last experience.

Somehow, for whatever reason, sounds like there may have been a huge culture change at this facility if this problem was persistent throughout your stay. Maybe they have had a large turnover & that great staff who treated you before have moved to better employers. Don't "get over it". Let them know that they are lacking in the patient dignity department, enough so that you might think twice about seeking treatment there again.

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I seem to remember this thread issue from a poster who joined just to discuss it, a few years back.

My question is "did you ever think of pulling up the sheets when the caregiver walked away from you?"

I'm not justifying or dismissing your concerns but am seriously wondering why you didn't act as your own advocate rather than joining a nursing forum to discuss the issue.

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It's not an attitude that I've encountered over the years. I don't work in the ED, but I have always made an effort, and my coworkers have, also, as far as I know, to respect everyone's modesty and dignity without regard to gender, age, etc. I agree with the idea of letting the hospital know about your experience, not with the intent of getting any individual in trouble (as you note you don't want to do), but as a general caution/reminder for the ED generally.

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Hi ItsThatJenGirl... I don't want to get anybody in trouble. And I'll get over it. So no, probably not going to say anything. Other than ask my question here. Like I said to Mi Vida Loca, I have been in the hospital several times before and have never had an experience like this before. The nursing staff was extremely professional and treated all patients with respect and honored their requests in this area (male or female). Which I guess is why I was so taken back by my last experience. It did, however, get me thinking and make me ask here if this is a prevailing attitude when it comes to patient modesty when it's a male patient as opposed to a female patient.

I wouldn't view it as getting anyone in trouble, but rather raising an issue that might have an impact on future patients.

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Hi Fiona59... I did cover myself several times. When I was able. Unfortunately I wasn't in any shape to do that, or advocate for myself, most of the time. I was kind of counting on the people taking care of me to do that for me at the time. And I joined, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine, just to discuss/ask this. Her answer to me was the same as many of the replies I have gotten here. That whenever possible the nursing staff tries to honor those requests and respect the patient's modesty (male or female). Still she suggested that I post/ask that question here. I'm thinking it was just a one-off bad experience. The exception rather than the rule. Many of the replies I have gotten suggested that I speak to hospital administration about my concerns. I just can't. Partly because it was humiliating and I would be even more embarrassed discussing it face-to-face with someone (as opposed to here). But mostly because I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Everybody has a bad experience at some point I guess. Just like everybody has an "off" day at some point. I think I'll just go with that. Like I said, I'll get over it. I would like, however, to thank everybody for the replies I have received. It has confirmed my belief that it was the exception and not the rule. And for that I thank you!

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