Male Patient Modesty Question

[tmaloney58]

My Experience:

I recently had a not so awesome experience regarding male patient modesty in a local hospital. It involved a trip to the ED, subsequent admission to the floor and emergency surgery with a week stay afterwards.

My Question:

Is it the general attitude of nurses in general (ED, OR, PACU, recovery, etc.) that patient modesty only matters when it is a female patient and that guys either don't care about that or that it just doesn't matter when it's a guy or did I just have a one-off bad experience?

My Request:

Yeah, it does matter! Guys might not say it, or feel uncomfortable saying it, probably out of fear of being ridiculed, or being the topic of discussion, in the break room but yeah, male patients do care about it. So I guess my request is the next time you leave a male patient uncovered for an extended period of time where everybody coming in and out of the area (not involved in their care) can see them, come into their room and just pull the covers off of them and lift up their gown and start doing stuff to them, etc. etc. maybe you take a minute and think about whether you would do the same thing to a female patient. Pretty sure I wouldn't of had the same experience if I were a female patient. And yeah; I know you're a professional, that you've seen/done it a thousand times and that checking out my "junk" isn't of any interest to you, however, I'm not a nursing professional, haven't had it done to me a thousand times and would prefer that my "junk" stay covered when you're doing something that requires it to be exposed to anybody in the area (not related to my care)!!!

Just saying...

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Hi ItsThatJenGirl... I don't want to get anybody in trouble. And I'll get over it. So no, probably not going to say anything. Other than ask my question here. Like I said to Mi Vida Loca, I have been in the hospital several times before and have never had an experience like this before. The nursing staff was extremely professional and treated all patients with respect and honored their requests in this area (male or female). Which I guess is why I was so taken back by my last experience. It did, however, get me thinking and make me ask here if this is a prevailing attitude when it comes to patient modesty when it's a male patient as opposed to a female patient.

It's not about getting people in trouble. But think of how the whole thing made you feel, if it is just a lack of concern and respect of the staff, then they need a reminder and this can be a learning opportunity. if you say nothing then it will happen again and someone might feel the same way you felt. You don't have to go in person, you can send an email or a letter and CC multiple people on it. It's very easy to get this information. Especially in an age of patient satisfaction. You also don't have to give your name or date you were there so that you can retain anonymity.

If it were me, once I had time to take in the whole situation, if you don't want to get specific people "in trouble" I would formulate an email detailing what happened and how it left you feeling. Specifically being left exposed after the procedures and assessments were done and the doors not being shut. I would ask HR or the Department Manager to please bring this up in the next meeting and send out an email reminding staff the importance of preserving our patients dignity. That way your concerns are addressed and you aren't holding this in and maybe people stop and pause!

There is no excuse for leaving you exposed after the assessments and after the procedures, there was no excuse for leaving doors or curtains open, let alone while exposed.

[vanilla bean]

Many of the replies I have gotten suggested that I speak to hospital administration about my concerns. I just can't. Partly because it was humiliating and I would be even more embarrassed discussing it face-to-face with someone (as opposed to here). But mostly because I don't want to get anybody in trouble.

You don't have to go discuss this issue face-to-face with anyone, you only need to send them a letter. It's not about getting anyone in trouble; it's about bringing an issue to the attention of the very people that are in a position to do something about it. As you've explained here, it was an issue with multiple staff members across multiple departments, indicating that they have a potential systemic problem. You would be giving them an opportunity to address the issue facility-wide.

[tmaloney58]

Mi Vida Loca and Vanilla Bean... Thank you for your suggestions. A letter or e-mail may be the way to go. Because it was embarrassing and would probably be even more uncomfortable and embarrassing to discuss it with someone at the hospital in person. Maybe because I am a guy. I just don't want hospital administration going over my records, finding out who took care of me and getting them in any trouble. Maybe after I take some time to take in the situation, as you suggested, I will do that. Thank you again.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Mi Vida Loca and Vanilla Bean... Thank you for your suggestions. A letter or e-mail may be the way to go. Because it was embarrassing and would probably be even more uncomfortable and embarrassing to discuss it with someone at the hospital in person. Maybe because I am a guy. I just don't want hospital administration going over my records, finding out who took care of me and getting them in any trouble. Maybe after I take some time to take in the situation, as you suggested, I will do that. Thank you again.

You can remain anonymous while still being specific about the exposure aspect. But if you do nothing, it will continue to happen to other people. Like I said, think of how it made you feel, you have the ability to hopefully keep someone else from feeling the same way.

[tmaloney58]

I would like to thank everybody for their replies and suggestions. As I replied to Fiona59 earlier, I joined here, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine, just to discuss/ask this. Her answer to me was the same as many of the replies I have gotten here. That whenever possible the nursing staff tries to honor those requests and respect the patient's modesty (male or female). Still she suggested that I post/ask that question here. I was a little apprehensive at first to do that. I wasn't sure of the replies I would get or if the experience and attitude I would have here as a result of posting would mirror what I received at the hospital. I'm glad it wasn't. I actually feel much better about things as a result of the replies I have received. Thank you again!

[caliotter3]

I would like to thank everybody for their replies and suggestions. As I replied to Fiona59 earlier, I joined here, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine, just to discuss/ask this. Her answer to me was the same as many of the replies I have gotten here. That whenever possible the nursing staff tries to honor those requests and respect the patient's modesty (male or female). Still she suggested that I post/ask that question here. I was a little apprehensive at first to do that. I wasn't sure of the replies I would get or if the experience and attitude I would have here as a result of posting would mirror what I received at the hospital. I'm glad it wasn't. I actually feel much better about things as a result of the replies I have received. Thank you again!

Problems are best addressed with the person(s) that are part of or the cause of, the problem.

[tmaloney58]

Caliotter3... Agreed. Still, a "second opinion", or the opinion of members actually in the profession never hurts. Especially considering my desire not to subject myself to further embarrassment by addressing an issue directly with the person(s) who were a part of, or the cause of, the problem if it wouldn't be acted upon and would only humiliate me further. Which is why I posted here. Thankfully the attitude I experienced while in the hospital isn't/hasn't been reflected in the majority of the replies I have received here. But thank you for your observation.

[amoLucia]

I seem to remember this thread issue from a poster who joined just to discuss it, a few years back.

My question is "did you ever think of pulling up the sheets when the caregiver walked away from you?"

I'm not justifying or dismissing your concerns but am seriously wondering why you didn't act as your own advocate rather than joining a nursing forum to discuss the issue.

Deja vue!!!

I, too, remembered it.

Am not sure if we're being snookered here.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Let's give our poster the benefit of the doubt. I think we've all seen examples of poor care and I for one prefer to believe this actually happened. MOST patients are treated with dignity, but there are those few healthcare providers who make us all look bad. I'm glad to see so many positive responses to the OP.

[tmaloney58]

amoLucia and VivaLasViejas... No, I'm not "snookering" anyone. I'll cut and paste part of my reply to Fiona59, which you quoted above, here:

I did cover myself several times. When I was able. Unfortunately I wasn't in any shape to do that, or advocate for myself, most of the time. I was kind of counting on the people taking care of me to do that for me at the time.

And yes, as I replied to Fiona59, I joined the board here just for the sole purpose of discussing this and asking my question. I did so, however, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine. I asked her the same question and had the same discussion with her. And although her answer to me was positive, as were the majority of the replies I received here, she encouraged me to post here anyway. I relayed my experience here and the replies I had gotten to her and asked her why she had encouraged me to post here when she had already answered my question. She told me it was so that I could hear it (the answer) from complete strangers instead of from a friend. She also told me today, after I had posted and talked to her, that she also had an ulterior motive. That my post would serve as a "gentle reminder" to others in the nursing profession that modesty matters as much to male patients as it does to female patients. So I guess she's as clever as she is professional. And a true friend. I told her that, based on the replies I had received here (most of them anyway) that I didn't think anyone in the profession needed to be reminded of that as it was obvious that my hospital experience was truly the exception and not the rule.

To amoLucia (and sevensonnets) expecially... Not everyone who posts here, and is not in the medical profession or a nurse, and asks a question is trying to "snooker" you or is a "troll". Some of us would just like an honest answer to our question and post here because we honestly want an answer and this is where you ask if you want to find those in the nursing profession. So I hope I answered your question. I can understand your skepticism, however. And having had some time to have read some of the other posts by those not in the nursing profession here I think it is warranted. Just my opinion, not a fact. I have also come to the conclusion that it's probably a requirement in your profession as well considering some of the administrators, doctors, patients, situations, etc. that you have to deal with on a daily basis. Something I don't think I fully understood until I had read some of the other posts/topics here. Which I think in part is why I have changed my opinion of the way I view my last hospital experience and the people who took care of me when I was there and the way I was treated by them. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I only hope you can do the same the next time someone, who is not in the medical profession or a nurse, posts a question here. A little knowledge, and empathy, goes a long way.

Again, just saying...

P.S. (amoLucia)... When you say "deja vue" and that you remembered a previous post from someone about male patient modesty, did you actually take it to heart and consider it or did you just dismiss it, and them, as a "troll". Maybe they were and maybe they weren't. I haven't been here that long and didn't see that post so I can't say. I'm just curious...

[caliotter3]

A good thing you posted using your name.

[tmaloney58]

Caliotter3... Why wouldn't I? Use my name that is. Or at least the first initial of my first name, my last name and my year of birth (which this year is also my age). It's pretty much the same username I use on the boards that I post on within my own profession. I have nothing to hide. Except for maybe my "private parts" when I was in the hospital. And we now all know how well that worked out for me (laughing while crying). Guess I wouldn't make a very good "troll".