tmaloney58

Much like you have a retort to every point? In any case, to quote Edward Gibbon: "I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect." That being said... I have nothing further to argue with you.

I wouldn't consider asking a caregiver to cover me up after I had been exposed for over a half an hour after assessments had been done while multiple people (not related to my care) wandered in and out of the area I was in to be a "there, there now attention seeking behavior". It seemed like a simple request. And one that I had to make multiple times in multiple locations. Maybe that's the "there, there now attention seeking behavior" you are referring to? Having to make the same request multiple times? Because my, I thought simple, request wasn't being honored? And because of my condition at the time I was unable to do it myself? Unfortunately, I received the same dismissive behavior/attitude from my "caregivers" there as you seem to display. That's makes me kind of sad. For you. I'm guessing, actually I know, that you've been doing your job for a very long time. Maybe too long. Because when you forget the "care" part of "patient care" maybe it's time to find a different career.

I agree. You make a good point. And I'm sorry if my friend's tactics rubbed you the wrong way. Unfortunately, however, I wasn't aware of her "tactics" until after I posted. I have "spoken" to her about that. That being said, however, since you are not one of the individuals you describe above then it shouldn't offend you at all. Since it doesn't apply to you. I appreciate that. I honestly do. Definitely not, however, I wear many different hats.

Hi Mi Vida Loca (and others)... I actually appreciate your concern regarding personally identifying myself. I don't think that came across in my last reply to you. So thank you. However, personally identifying myself was never my concern. I should provide you with a little background so that you better understand why. I work as a computer security consultant (an ethical hacker). I have for the past 15 years. I have been a computer programmer, systems/network/security manager, database administrator, webmaster, etc. for the past 34 years. A simple google search, as you pointed out, will back that up (and probably provide you with my web site address, business address, e-mail and cell phone number). One thing I have learned as a result of that is that there is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. And if you think that using an alias when you post on a board like this will protect you then as one of my colleagues often says "I want some of what you're smoking because it must be really good stuff because you've got to be high right now". Using some really basic, and free, tools readily available on the internet I was able to find very personally identifying information on several of the individuals who replied to me here using aliases. It took like 30 minutes. I can recommend a book if you're interested in finding out just how easy that is: Open Source Intelligence Techniques by Michael Bazzel (ISBN 9781530508907) He has authored several other books, including ones that will help you remove that kind of information from the internet. Good luck with that. These days I don't even bother. It is what it is. If you go to the Barnes and Noble, or any other major bookseller's, web site you should be able to do an author search and find them. Or you can run a Google search. Because we all know how to use Google, right (again just laughing, not crying)? Anyway, I had a very nice conversation with the DON at the hospital where I had my experience. Apparently she knows how to use Google as well (again laughing). It went very well. She explained their staffing, overcrowding, turnover, etc. issues and expressed to me that although it was not an excuse she would like to apologize in person to me and have me address the issue directly and explain, from a patient's perspective, my experience at an internal seminar they are having to address that exact issue at the hospital. Evidently I was not the only one to have had that experience recently and they are addressing it. She also assured me that nobody would get in trouble as a result of my post or my conversation with her which was my biggest concern. I should also point out, as I did in an earlier reply, that being personally identified doesn't embarrass, humiliate, traumatize or mortify me in any way. What did was being left exposed for extended periods of time, in multiple locations, for anyone, and everyone not related to my care (including family members of other patients) who happened to wander into the area where I was seeing me that way. And not being able to do anything about it, or advocate for myself, due to the condition I was in. Anyway, it went well. And again, thank you.

Thank you for pointing this out, however, it's kind of an academic discussion at this point. Especially since I had already received a call from the Director of Nursing and quality assurance/customer satisfaction at the hospital where I had the experience regarding this thread prior to me making that post. As long as pictures of my "private parts" don't start showing up on the internet it's all good. I don't really care about being personally identified (obviously or I would have used an alias username). What bothered me was being exposed to everyone and anyone who happened to wander by or wander in the area I was in at the time. So like I said, unless you have pictures, it's all good (just laughing this time, no crying).

Apparently (unfortunately) not everyone in the profession can figure that out. Otherwise it wouldn't have happened in the first place.

Caliotter3... Why wouldn't I? Use my name that is. Or at least the first initial of my first name, my last name and my year of birth (which this year is also my age). It's pretty much the same username I use on the boards that I post on within my own profession. I have nothing to hide. Except for maybe my "private parts" when I was in the hospital. And we now all know how well that worked out for me (laughing while crying). Guess I wouldn't make a very good "troll".

amoLucia and VivaLasViejas... No, I'm not "snookering" anyone. I'll cut and paste part of my reply to Fiona59, which you quoted above, here: I did cover myself several times. When I was able. Unfortunately I wasn't in any shape to do that, or advocate for myself, most of the time. I was kind of counting on the people taking care of me to do that for me at the time. And yes, as I replied to Fiona59, I joined the board here just for the sole purpose of discussing this and asking my question. I did so, however, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine. I asked her the same question and had the same discussion with her. And although her answer to me was positive, as were the majority of the replies I received here, she encouraged me to post here anyway. I relayed my experience here and the replies I had gotten to her and asked her why she had encouraged me to post here when she had already answered my question. She told me it was so that I could hear it (the answer) from complete strangers instead of from a friend. She also told me today, after I had posted and talked to her, that she also had an ulterior motive. That my post would serve as a "gentle reminder" to others in the nursing profession that modesty matters as much to male patients as it does to female patients. So I guess she's as clever as she is professional. And a true friend. I told her that, based on the replies I had received here (most of them anyway) that I didn't think anyone in the profession needed to be reminded of that as it was obvious that my hospital experience was truly the exception and not the rule. To amoLucia (and sevensonnets) expecially... Not everyone who posts here, and is not in the medical profession or a nurse, and asks a question is trying to "snooker" you or is a "troll". Some of us would just like an honest answer to our question and post here because we honestly want an answer and this is where you ask if you want to find those in the nursing profession. So I hope I answered your question. I can understand your skepticism, however. And having had some time to have read some of the other posts by those not in the nursing profession here I think it is warranted. Just my opinion, not a fact. I have also come to the conclusion that it's probably a requirement in your profession as well considering some of the administrators, doctors, patients, situations, etc. that you have to deal with on a daily basis. Something I don't think I fully understood until I had read some of the other posts/topics here. Which I think in part is why I have changed my opinion of the way I view my last hospital experience and the people who took care of me when I was there and the way I was treated by them. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I only hope you can do the same the next time someone, who is not in the medical profession or a nurse, posts a question here. A little knowledge, and empathy, goes a long way. Again, just saying... P.S. (amoLucia)... When you say "deja vue" and that you remembered a previous post from someone about male patient modesty, did you actually take it to heart and consider it or did you just dismiss it, and them, as a "troll". Maybe they were and maybe they weren't. I haven't been here that long and didn't see that post so I can't say. I'm just curious...

Caliotter3... Agreed. Still, a "second opinion", or the opinion of members actually in the profession never hurts. Especially considering my desire not to subject myself to further embarrassment by addressing an issue directly with the person(s) who were a part of, or the cause of, the problem if it wouldn't be acted upon and would only humiliate me further. Which is why I posted here. Thankfully the attitude I experienced while in the hospital isn't/hasn't been reflected in the majority of the replies I have received here. But thank you for your observation.

I would like to thank everybody for their replies and suggestions. As I replied to Fiona59 earlier, I joined here, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine, just to discuss/ask this. Her answer to me was the same as many of the replies I have gotten here. That whenever possible the nursing staff tries to honor those requests and respect the patient's modesty (male or female). Still she suggested that I post/ask that question here. I was a little apprehensive at first to do that. I wasn't sure of the replies I would get or if the experience and attitude I would have here as a result of posting would mirror what I received at the hospital. I'm glad it wasn't. I actually feel much better about things as a result of the replies I have received. Thank you again!

Mi Vida Loca and Vanilla Bean... Thank you for your suggestions. A letter or e-mail may be the way to go. Because it was embarrassing and would probably be even more uncomfortable and embarrassing to discuss it with someone at the hospital in person. Maybe because I am a guy. I just don't want hospital administration going over my records, finding out who took care of me and getting them in any trouble. Maybe after I take some time to take in the situation, as you suggested, I will do that. Thank you again.

Hi Fiona59... I did cover myself several times. When I was able. Unfortunately I wasn't in any shape to do that, or advocate for myself, most of the time. I was kind of counting on the people taking care of me to do that for me at the time. And I joined, at the urging of an ED trauma nurse friend of mine, just to discuss/ask this. Her answer to me was the same as many of the replies I have gotten here. That whenever possible the nursing staff tries to honor those requests and respect the patient's modesty (male or female). Still she suggested that I post/ask that question here. I'm thinking it was just a one-off bad experience. The exception rather than the rule. Many of the replies I have gotten suggested that I speak to hospital administration about my concerns. I just can't. Partly because it was humiliating and I would be even more embarrassed discussing it face-to-face with someone (as opposed to here). But mostly because I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Everybody has a bad experience at some point I guess. Just like everybody has an "off" day at some point. I think I'll just go with that. Like I said, I'll get over it. I would like, however, to thank everybody for the replies I have received. It has confirmed my belief that it was the exception and not the rule. And for that I thank you!

Hi ItsThatJenGirl... I don't want to get anybody in trouble. And I'll get over it. So no, probably not going to say anything. Other than ask my question here. Like I said to Mi Vida Loca, I have been in the hospital several times before and have never had an experience like this before. The nursing staff was extremely professional and treated all patients with respect and honored their requests in this area (male or female). Which I guess is why I was so taken back by my last experience. It did, however, get me thinking and make me ask here if this is a prevailing attitude when it comes to patient modesty when it's a male patient as opposed to a female patient.

Mi Vida Loca... I wish I had of had somebody like you taking care of me. Somebody that remembers, or has had the experience of, being a patient as well as a provider. I think maybe sometimes that gets forgotten. When I was brought to the ED I definitely wasn't in a position to complain. And I understand completely why things have to be done the way they are done there. And I have no problem with that. I just wish that after they were done doing what they needed to do, and it was an emergent situation, they would have covered me up. Or closed the curtains. Or something. In the ED, after I got out of the OR and was in the PACU and recovering. Anywhere. I mean no disrespect. And I hope I didn't come across as disrespectful. I have been to the hospital before, several times, and had a completely different experiences. Which is why I posted this here. I'm wondering if things have changed. Because I did sit in my car when I was discharged and try to twist my head around it. Because it was humiliating. I'm not upset by the way, just a little shocked by the apparent lack of concern for patient modesty when you're a guy. Or at least that was the feeling I was left with. Right or wrong. Anyway, I'm glad there are people like you out there. Hopefully if I ever do have to go to the hospital under similar circumstances it will be in a facility where professionals like you are found. Thank you for your reply too.

I did say something. On multiple occasions. I got the standard "I'm a professional, I've seen/done it a thousand times and checking out your "junk" isn't of interest to me" reply. Still doesn't explain why the curtains were left open (in multiple locations where I was) and why I was left uncovered for extended periods of time (for multiple individuals, not involved in my care, coming in and out of the area to see including family members of other patients). The response I got was rather "dismissive" actually. Like it didn't, or shouldn't, matter. Because I was a guy. It did matter! Think I'd rather just die on the side of the highway next time than go to the hospital. Again, just saying...