As I was reading one of the posts about this nurse's first encounter of a patient demise and how she couldnt control her emotions and started crying, I became curious of the following:
1. How did you handle such a situation, demise of a patient you cared?
2. Did you cry? If you cried, did you go to a private place and cry while controlling yourself in front of others? If you did not cry, what was your feeling at that time?
While I usually do not cry, I believe I would cry if I am deeply affected emotionally but in a private place (I guess it is the male thing in me...lol)
I don't golf but I did cry once when I lost my wife and girlfriend in the same week. I really liked my girlfriend. Even her husband was a pretty nice guy also.
But it's about the patient and family member. We can't make it about ourselves and our emotions. We do have to keep them under check.
Tweety--I'm a woman, but I had the same concern one day in clinical. My patient was crying because he had been hospitalized so many times in such a short period and he was afraid to die. He told me that his children were mad at him and hadn't seen them in years, that he didn't have any friends, etc. I cried with him.
Later I asked my clinical instructor if I was wrong to have cried. She told me that as long as I am crying with or FOR my patient, and not crying for myself (like ruminating over a similar experience I had, etc), that as long as I wasn't taking the focus off the patient and putting it on myself, that crying is ok. I felt reassured by her words.
My husband is a nurse and I asked him a while back if he has ever cried over a patient. He said no, that most of his patients are elderly and they have no LOC, so for him, it's a positive thing when the die. He works in the ICU. He did say that if he ever worked in the NICU, which he wants to do someday, that he would have a hard time NOT crying for the babies if they died. He also said that when he has a patient who is closer to his age and is married (like we are), it affects him more than other patients.
I don't golf but I did cry once when I lost my wife and girlfriend in the same week. I really liked my girlfriend. Even her husband was a pretty nice guy also.
I don't golf but I did cry once when I lost my wife and girlfriend in the same week. I really liked my girlfriend. Even her husband was a pretty nice guy also.
I can only hope that though you lost a wife and girlfriend, you gained a drinking buddy.
I think that happens alot of times regardless of whether you are male or female. I know that I try to hold my emotions until I can expresss my emotion in private.
The most poignant image of a man crying that has affected me?
cheers,
At last, another healthcare professional who's also a rocker ! I'm new to the forum, and feel quite a relief when I meet anyone who respects Sir Eddie...let's me know I'm among friends. When I'm not doing my MA gigs, I play a Les Paul, the now-collectible Voodoo model.
I've been watching the Iron Maiden DVD's, which, of course, are totally killer. I've still got my reissued Killers Tour shirt from 1981, and wear it with pride. (Kohl's used to sell that and Judas Priest)
That said, I'm one who will cry when I have a moment of privacy. I do have to hold back for the sake of "professionalism", but being human (as we're supposed to be) it is sometimes a necessary thing to relieve that tormenting inner stress that comes with our healthcare jobs. We can't all be like Gregory House M.D. nor should we.
To say one is not a "man" if he sheds tears is absurd. "Tee", I hope you have ONE good shocking experience that really rocks your ice-cold world, and brings a tear to your eyes ONE FINE DAY.
The only time I cried was when I got my man bag hit by one of the bed rails.
Man, I can relate to that all too well!!
The only time I have gotten teary eyed at work was when my 14 y/o trauma patient died. We tried everything to save this kid but he was gone. The hard part was when the parents showed up and they were both emotional wrecks. My heart went out to them. It was the toughest thing I have been through at work.....
The most poignant image of a man crying that has affected me?
cheers,
That picture never fails to move me! And yes men can and should allow themselves to feel their emotions.....When you can feel you are still living.....
To say one is not a "man" if he sheds tears is absurd. "Tee", I hope you have ONE good shocking experience that really rocks your ice-cold world, and brings a tear to your eyes ONE FINE DAY.
you can't take tom seriously.
he loves to get people going.
even when he's being serious, many can't tell, so you're better off assuming he's busting chops.
zenman
1 Article; 2,806 Posts
I don't golf but I did cry once when I lost my wife and girlfriend in the same week. I really liked my girlfriend. Even her husband was a pretty nice guy also.