Let's talk about Depression

madwife2002, BSN, RN · Feb 19, 2019

Depression touches most people's lives at some point; like all illnesses it has no consideration for age, race, gender or status in life.

Depression can creep up slowly or hit you straight in the face when you least expect it.

For many people, especially those who have always considered themselves strong and able to manage without support or help, it is a shock often taking a long time before they identify themselves as being depressed. It is comparable to the grieving process and there are several stages, before you accept and come to terms with the diagnoses.

After all is it not the weak, uneducated, lower classes of our society who have mental health issues, isn't it?

When the Doctor first informs you that you are depressed, sometimes it is a relief that the way you have been feeling actually has a name, then you may feel embarrassed because there is a appears to be a stigma attached to the diagnoses of depression. Years ago people who were diagnosed with a mental health problem, were often shunned and shut away from society. Up until the 1960's/1970's you could have been institutionalized if you had been diagnosed with depression, some patients were locked away for all their lives because of this diagnosis.

Often depression was mismanaged, doctors would feel it was a waste of time dealing with patients who were unable to help themselves, after all they had much more serious illnesses to deal with. Often they would send patients away with mind numbing drugs and no follow up.

Surprisingly in the year 2012 scientist still don't completely understand the brain, and they will openly admit that whilst they are able to send a man home without a heart and an artificial one on his back, the brain remains a mystery. I don't think we will ever see the day when the brain is removed and an artificial one replaces it. Although I know somebody somewhere is inventing an artificial brain and a scientist will be attempting brain transplants sometime soon.

Depression is like a poison slowly polluting your mind and life, you know you shouldn't feel so negative about all aspects of your life but you can't stop the overall feeling of dread and misery. You are told by well-meaning friends and family how lucky you are to have such a wonderful life, which makes you fear worse because you know you do but you cannot see it clearly.

Life becomes a drag, you get easily annoyed with situations and people, you no longer care about your appearance, you feel life is miserable and you have no control over situations. It is embarrassing for a lot of people and often they won't admit to anybody that they are or have been diagnosed with depression. Many people with depression do not discuss it with their own family and friends, they will hide it from co-workers and bosses fearing the negative way it may be received as people often have strong opinions regarding depression.

Marriages are strained; friendships are ruined because you no longer want to interact with people. You don't want sex, you find fault with your partner, you may even want arguments as this can reinforce and support your feeling of misery. You can however hide that you are depressed and carry on a 'normal' life. You can get up and go into work but you may be very short tempered and quick to anger when things appear to be going wrong. Often you look on a situation negatively and can see the solution as quick as you used to, often you cannot see the end result and get stuck in the middle.

Relationships at work can suffer badly, especially if you are always 'the naysay' of your team. The important relationship with your boss can become strained, you may say things you regret and they may come back to haunt you. I often say I pick my battles but when you are depressed you do not pick your battles wisely.

Although the media is now more understanding the way it portraits depression, a lot of people remember back in the day when somebody was diagnosed with depression they were started on medications that made them zombified. Then shock and horror these patients then became addicted to the medication which had terrible side effects.

Today modern medicine has improved; different kinds of medication are available to treat the many kinds of reasons which cause depression.

Counseling is offered alongside the medication and although not everybody will benefit from counseling it is something which should be encouraged.

Why do we become depressed?

For some people it is because they have had a serious illness, others some sort of accident, death and illness of a loved one, work stress, loss of job, money problems and for some it just happens. It can be a small trigger or it can be a large one, for some it has always been around but they were just able to control it better than others.

I became depressed after we moved countries and 8 weeks in had a serious car accident which caused me to become desperately homesick, we didn't know anybody we had no support mechanisms in place yet and we didn't understand the system or culture of the US. I often laughed at people who said they were homesick not giving it the correct respect it deserves.

Homesickness is real I know, you feel miserable almost like when your first boyfriend finishes with you and you see him with somebody else. You don't actually know what you are missing but you miss it. It wasn't perfect but you are now placing it on a pedestal. You feel like somebody has died music reminds you of time and situations, you left behind.

I was homesick for 4 years, can you imagine wasting your time being homesick for 4 years! Then we moved states and I found myself settling down in a new place which was a more suitable family environment for us. My homesickness became a thing of the past, and only reared it's ugly head at certain times of the year.

For a couple of years things went ok, there were issues with my job but it was doable. Depression was still around but I had placed it on the back burner. Then I got a manager from hell and my whole world tipped upside down again. This manager made my life a misery; I became extremely depressed although now I was blaming my feelings on 'change of life'. I was quick to temper and actually mismanaged my work life and although this manager was awful, it became about me! I went to the doctors actually to be signed off work with a mystery illness, when he diagnosed me with depression. I wasn't surprised that he thought I was depressed I was happy that he was going to give me medication which would help me feel better as I was tired of feeling so bad.

I started on medication which turned my life around, I lost weight which was intensifying my depression and I took back control of my life! Around the same time I had seen a chiropractor who actually helped me to become pain free for the first time in 7 years, pain that was caused by the car accident back in 2005.

I would like to tell you this happened quickly it didn't it took a year, yep one whole year and I am still working on repairing the damage to my reputation. I have a new manager who is very supportive, the old manager is still around but more and more each day it has become obvious that she is incompetent. I don't need to be involved anymore and I actually smile at her when I attend meetings she is at, and I am sorry because of my depression that I didn't manage my manager better and more appropriately.

Let's talk about Depression

About madwife2002, BSN, RN

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