left crying!

tx2007, RN · Sep 13, 2005

You need to speak to her in private and let her know what happened and how you DON'T appreciate the way she talked to you and moreover that she didn't pull you aside and make a show. :angryfire

I thought about going into her office tommorrow and talking to her about it, but I dont know if it will just make things worse?!? I don't want her to think she got the best of me, but at the same time it wasnt the right thing for her to do IMO. I dont know I think I will just let it blow over this time and if it happens again I will tell her I dont think it is appropriate and that it really hurt she should take people aside and talk to them and not make a "scene." :stone

Hoozdo, ADN · Sep 13, 2005

I thought about going into her office tommorrow and talking to her about it, but I dont know if it will just make things worse?!? I don't want her to think she got the best of me, but at the same time it wasnt the right thing for her to do IMO. I dont know I think I will just let it blow over this time and if it happens again I will tell her I dont think it is appropriate and that it really hurt she should take people aside and talk to them and not make a "scene." :stone

I wouldn't go to her office; try to keep a low profile. The next time you don't have a partner then practice on the teacher I have even done this before. I think she knew there were an odd number of people in class and was waiting to see what would happen. It is instructors like this that help make nursing school hell :angryfire

sunnyjohn · Sep 13, 2005

I talked to some other people and they said this is what they do to try and "break us" so that wehn a Dr. yells at us we can handle it @@ WHATEVER I think I will take your advice and tell her its not the appropriate time and place next time!

This ain't the MARINE CORPS!!!

If she said group up in two's and she had an odd number of folks in the class, "el capitan" should have specified that one of the groups would have been a three! Maybe she flunked the math portion of her nursing instructor training. Division can be quite tricky.... Or maybe she was introducing the "critical thinking" they keep saying we will get in nurisng school....

:rotfl: (Just trying to cheer you up)

Anyhoo next time you know to duck when she gets going.

speedykicks · Sep 13, 2005

I am gonna deviate a little from the "hugs" and "sorry this happened to you" responses and I hope you can take it in the spirit in which it is meant. It seems like your instructor was so hard on you because she was under the impression that you were just blowing off pairing up to practice your skills. Given that she thought you were just blowing off pairing up, does her reponse make a little bit more sense? Now I am not excusing her methods, but sometimes you have abrupt, unfair, short tempered instructors and that is just the way life goes. I think you should a. toughen up a bit - this seems to be largly a result of a misunderstanding. and b. go speak with her. Let her know you weren't hesitent to practice hands on or blowing her off, but rather are a little shy and couldn't find a partner. Let her know you just wanted to clarify that because it appeared she mistook your not being able to find a partner with not caring about practicing your skills. Then just let it go abd be sure to be really assertive and tough in that class.

SoulShine75 · Sep 13, 2005

That's crap! Some people have nerve. :angryfire

Listen, don't let her get you down. There are instructors out there who like to find one person to pick on...but, I thought that only happened in high school and not college, hmmm .:uhoh21: The best way to get her back is to kill her with kindness. :chuckle I'm not saying go out of your way and kiss her behind, but if she speaks to you, politely smile and respond in a congenial fashion, this will throw her off and you'll maybe even be setting an example of how people should treat others. I know it's hard but when you go back to that class you should pretend as though nothing ever happened. Talking about the incident will only make it worse and attract negativity. Try to put it behind you and never let anyone see you sweat.

So sorry this happened, just have peace in knowing you're not a nasty person such as she seems.

Good luck :flowersfo

NurCrystal22 · Sep 13, 2005

HEY CHEER UP! Wow, do I have some advice for you but first, realize that it'll be okay and there is no need for tears, you had a bad day. When I was in nursing school, most of our lab instructors were CRAZY and when I say crazy, I mean they went crazy if they felt we weren't learning and that's probably what went on with your teacher. Sometimes during assessments it's important that you pair with someone else to get better "hands-on" experience then doing the practice on yourself ya know? Perhaps your teacher didn't feel you were participating which in turn drove her crazy. Believe it or not, teachers do want to see you succeed. As far as how she reacted, I do feel that she was out of line. I think that she should have asked you to wait after class and spoke with you in private. The thing that you HAVE to realize, is that you are an adult, and your instructor is also and adult, yes... she is you teacher but that doesn't give her the right to speak to you any kind of way. Next class, let your teacher know that you want to talk to her (after class, in a calm, polite voice) and tell her that you didn't appreciate that she embarrassed you in front of the entire class. SHOW her how she SHOULD have talked to you. I mean, you don't have to if you feel that it's going to cause you more problems with this teacher but I feel that 2 adults should be able to talk civil to each other ya know? AND learn from this, your teacher likes students paired up, so if there isn't an extra person that doesn't have a parter then get your butt in a pair of 3 ASAP. That way she has no reason to yell at you without contradicting herself right? ANYWAYS, I'm sorry this happened to you, that was WAY harsh.

~Crystal

Fun2, BSN, RN · Sep 13, 2005

I talked to some other people and they said this is what they do to try and "break us" so that wehn a Dr. yells at us we can handle it @@ WHATEVER I think I will take your advice and tell her its not the appropriate time and place next time!

I'm sorry you had to deal with this, just watch out how you say anything to this instructor. Just do not give her an opportunity to do it again.

Think like a nurse should think. If there are not enough people to make another group, ask if you should work alone, or join a group.

I would not say a thing to her about it. Do not let it show that it bothered you, or she may continue to pick on you if she is that type of person!!

Go back, think ahead, and make sure you go above and beyond expectations. Good luck. :)

:icon_hug:

purplemania, BSN, RN · Sep 13, 2005

I would ask for a private conference with the teacher. Tell her you want to get the semester started on the right foot and explain how you FEEL, without being overly defensive. Allow her to voice her perceptions as well. Tell her "I was so embarrassed when you talked to me in front of my classmate." But don't say "You should not have embarrassed me in front of my classmate". If you let this brew your semester could be a very long one.

tencat · Sep 14, 2005

I'm sorry that you had to experience that. It was out of line for her to single you out that way in front of the other students.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you've got to toughen up and stand up for yourself. I know that it's hard when you're a newbie college student and are used to dealing with teachers the way you used to in high school. When I was first in college I would have been eaten alive by nursing instructors and spit out in a crying heap. :bluecry1:

Now that I'm older I know that I have a right to be respected, adult to adult, and I will not stand for any of that college professor, holier-than-thou attitude. If she tries to pull that crap again, just politely tell her "If you want to talk to me, I will be more than happy to come to your office and discuss matters with you." If she doesn't get the hint, I would point out, oh so politely, that this is not the time or the place for this kind of discussion. If she STILL doesn't get it (I bet by this time she will have if she's at all reasonable...)then I would turn around and LEAVE. It may be that all she wants you to do is 'toughen up' and stand up for yourself. It's a really crappy way to teach, but some professors are like that. You'll run into a lot of other nurses and assorted medical personnel who will treat you like that until you make them respect you. I don't know why it's that way....but it is.

Cherry2 · Sep 14, 2005

I dont know why but I left class crying today! We were doing health assesment and I didnt have a partner so I was just practicing on myself (lymp nodes) well the teacher made a HUGE deal out of it in class and that embarrased me so I quickly paired up with two other girls right next to me. Anyways the teacher then started telling me "what are you afraid of" I was pissed she was making such a scene she stopped the WHOLE class for this! I just said nothing and shot her a dirty look ( I know I shouldnt have but I was embarrased and pissed!) Anyway the rest of the class goes fine I do what we are supposed to do and everything. Well, I get up to leave at the end of class and the teacher came over and started talking to me. Keep in mind the WHOLE class is still there and have now crowded around my desk to see what she is going to say. She tells me I need to praticipate and do the "hands on" stuff blah blah blah and if I dont she will fail me! Its not like I didnt want to do it I just didnt want to make a big scene about not finding a partner that wasnt already paired up (we were only supposed to be in groups of two). She talked to me for about 5 minutes about how she would fail me and has failed people in the past and how am I going to make it as a nurse and all that. I was so embarrased! I didnt want to start crying in front of her or the class so I just shook my head ok and left quickly! One girl stopped me on the way out and told me how wrong she thought that was that the teacher would confront me like that and I just said Yeah and walked away with tears in my eyes. I am such a private person, but I DONT mind doing stuff in class!! I just couldnt find a partner, period! I left school crying in my car all the way home, and I dont even know why! I am sorry this is so long but I am just upset.

Maybe I am weird, but you know what I would do? I would go straight to that teacher (in private) and tell her "look I don't mind one bit doing it etc, just couldn't find a partner...blah,blah,blah... and from now on if you need to say things to me I want you to do it in private, please."

I know most people wouldn't dare do that, but I just have to stand up for myself, I would have cried too- I know I would have, but I would also have gone back and said something to her. Probably adding on the end how determined I am to be a nurse and I will do whatever it takes- sorry for the mistake. Anyway, good luck with your class. I am sure you will be an awesome nurse! =)

Maisie · Sep 14, 2005

It is truly amazing how rude nursing instructors can be. This would never be allowed in other majors. The teachers would be fired or at least reprimanded. I majored in Computer Science and Electronics. I was treated with total respect. Nursing instructors are bad because they know schools are desperate for them and students are desperate to get in.

sailornurse · Sep 14, 2005

You need to speak to her in private and let her know what happened and how you DON'T appreciate the way she talked to you and moreover that she didn't pull you aside and make a show. :angryfire
I thought about going into her office tommorrow and talking to her about it, but I dont know if it will just make things worse?!? I don't want her to think she got the best of me, but at the same time it wasnt the right thing for her to do IMO. I dont know I think I will just let it blow over this time and if it happens again I will tell her I dont think it is appropriate and that it really hurt she should take people aside and talk to them and not make a "scene." :stone

I think you need to speak with her ASAP. Being Assertive is a Leadership trait.

Also, Does she expect you to find your own partners? I teach assessement & I partner the students by using a deck of cards (find the same color suite with the corresponding numbers). It is quick, inexpensive, random & it forces students to work with different people each week. My goal is to have students practice physical exam skills on as many different people as they can (literally) "get their hands on". When there is an odd number of students, I either have them work in a group of 3 or I am the "patient".

Good luck. Remember, Respect has to be earned, IMO :coollook:

Eva MSN, CFNP