left crying!

[tx2007]

I dont know why but I left class crying today! We were doing health assesment and I didnt have a partner so I was just practicing on myself (lymp nodes) well the teacher made a HUGE deal out of it in class and that embarrased me so I quickly paired up with two other girls right next to me. Anyways the teacher then started telling me "what are you afraid of" I was pissed she was making such a scene she stopped the WHOLE class for this! I just said nothing and shot her a dirty look ( I know I shouldnt have but I was embarrased and pissed!) Anyway the rest of the class goes fine I do what we are supposed to do and everything. Well, I get up to leave at the end of class and the teacher came over and started talking to me. Keep in mind the WHOLE class is still there and have now crowded around my desk to see what she is going to say. She tells me I need to praticipate and do the "hands on" stuff blah blah blah and if I dont she will fail me! Its not like I didnt want to do it I just didnt want to make a big scene about not finding a partner that wasnt already paired up (we were only supposed to be in groups of two). She talked to me for about 5 minutes about how she would fail me and has failed people in the past and how am I going to make it as a nurse and all that. I was so embarrased! I didnt want to start crying in front of her or the class so I just shook my head ok and left quickly! One girl stopped me on the way out and told me how wrong she thought that was that the teacher would confront me like that and I just said Yeah and walked away with tears in my eyes. I am such a private person, but I DONT mind doing stuff in class!! I just couldnt find a partner, period! I left school crying in my car all the way home, and I dont even know why! I am sorry this is so long but I am just upset.

[Fun2, BSN, RN]

DO NOT Key her car.....have someone else do it.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

OK, I know this is really not funny, as I have a key mark down the side of my black truck from when i worked at the high school. (I'm thinking it was someone I sent to the office..lol) ...But, sometimes thinking these things just relieves pressure. lol :)

[KatieBell]

As a future Nursing Instructor, I read this thread with some interest!

First of all, practicing on yourself is probably not going to get you very far, and being assertive enough to ask the teacher, "I do not have a partner, do you want me to work in a group of three?" probably will. HOWEVER, I think the teacher was really out of line with all the threats about failure. Based on her misinterpretation, (I might have made the same one based on behavior), some comments about participation might be seen as valid, but threats of failure are really out of line. (I mean she has not seen this as a repeated pattern...) I also think it is still early in the school year, and the teacher could have easily said, Jill doesn't have a partner, how about working with Sue and John? Unfortunately, teachers are people too, and likely if she is teaching a skills lab, she is a fairly new instructor and is still trying out her role (not so great for you, but unfortunately the way it can be) so she may not be functioning at her best. So, probably, both of you have some growing to do.

The concern is how are you going to get through the semester?

Just ignoring this situation which has really upset you may not work too well. I'm not sure I'd address the teacher, but I would drop by my advisors office for some advice. Try to get to know more people in your class, so you feel less shy and more comfortable... (your fellow students can be such a great support through school- they are the ONLY ones that really understand what you are going through) As a Nurse, you will eventually be put in a position where you will need to be very assertive (ie: No I will not give this drug as it is out of the protocol to do so here...). So school is a good time to practice this. I'm not so keen on the idea of toughening up, but learning to let things roll off your back is always helpful.

Keep your chin up. You can do a geat job!

[mediatix8]

Awe I'll be your partener :)

Yeah I've had similar bad experiences with nursing instructors- it is clear and obvious to everyone that it's not that you were afraid to do the assessment on someone, but rather she said to get into groups of 2 and there was an odd number of students. There are people like this in the world, many of whom are nursing instructors. I've had a few bad experiences with other nurses both as a student and new nurse. Anyone who makes a scene, yells at you like you're a kid, or laughs at you either publicly or privately is unprofessional. You'll meet more people like this in your life, weather it be a patient, patient's family, doctor, other nurse, CNA, etc. It can be hard, but try not to let someone's opinion of you change how you feel about yourself. YOU know what the situation was and what was going on in your mind and that you were NOT afraid to touch a classmate's lymph nodes. I'm really sure your other classmates know that you were not afraid, that there was just an odd number of students. And if any of those other students treat you differently after this incident than they are just immature anyways and would likely have handled a similar situation if it happened to themselves a lot worse than you.

[truern]

Odd woman out here, but I'd chalk it and her up as one more thing I have to survive to graduate nursing school.

She's not the last demeaning disrespectful person you'll have to deal with in life. I'd count it as a learning experience, and just move on from there.

[tx2007, RN]

,

The concern is how are you going to get through the semester?

Just ignoring this situation which has really upset you may not work too well. I'm not sure I'd address the teacher, but I would drop by my advisors office for some advice. Try to get to know more people in your class, so you feel less shy and more comfortable... (your fellow students can be such a great support through school- they are the ONLY ones that really understand what you are going through) As a Nurse, you will eventually be put in a position where you will need to be very assertive (ie: No I will not give this drug as it is out of the protocol to do so here...). So school is a good time to practice this. I'm not so keen on the idea of toughening up, but learning to let things roll off your back is always helpful.

Keep your chin up. You can do a geat job!

Thanks I am hoping on Tuesday all will be better I will let you all know what happens! :chuckle

[nicuRN2007]

I left school crying in my car all the way home, and I dont even know why!

Bless your heart! I know why you were crying. I would have been crying too! I am so sorry that happened to you. It's amazing how insensitive some people can be.

[NHNurseMan]

She was mean, it was wrong, but I do agree you have to "toughen up". Or atleast figure out how you are going to GET THRU IT. Because, if you want your degree, well I guess we just have to take it!

:imbar I just mean she will have to figure out how to deal with this teacher w/o leaving class crying. I am not saying that her reaction was not appropriate or justified, I am just saying she doesn't have a choice BUT TO TAKE IT if she wants her degree. I seriously doubt that they would end up firing this instructor for this; this sort of behavior seems like the norm in nursing school. Everyone has atleast one mean instructor in nursing school, usually.

The OP has the greatest sympathy from me, I feel very bad for her and I am thankful I am not in her shoes. I don't think anyone is saying she was not entitled to react the way she did, I think we are just saying that she will need to find another way of dealing with this teacher if she wants to get thru school. Alternative is drop out???:wink2:

I so empathize with th OP, which the witch I had the first semester drilled into me (she was a witch then and is now a nurse whose nursing skills I aspire to match). Early in nursing school you truly separate those who have it and those that don't. Though I don't agree with the way the OP's instructor called her out in front of the class, I have been chewed up a few times by an A-hole doc that works on the floor I work on as an LNA. Quite honestly the only thing that stopped me from drilling this doc in the melon was a dressdown my instructor gave me about improper Z-trac technique. After the Gluteus masticating, I was shaking, beet red, and quite honestly ready to tell her where to stick the needle. Well when the class ended I did go to my advisor's office and started to tell her what happened. About halfway through my rant she stopped me and told me to go talk to the "offending instructor", but when I did I had better have my fecies together.

The following week right after lab, I asked the instructor if she had a minute. She said sure and we went to her office. When we got in the office I explained my concerns, being very specific that I made a mistake not having the technique down, but that she too was wrong with the way she handled the situation in my opinion.

Now this woman has been a nurse for over 40 years and instructed for more that 20 and explained to me that yes she was wrong dressing me down in front of my peers, but that didn't excuse my error and that we both needed to work on our skills.

One thing I think many of us don't consider is that nursing is a hell of a lot different than any other major. Make a mistake in accounting and you either go to jail or get a raise :rotfl: :rotfl: , make a mistake in the ICU and someone can die. Yes checking lymph nodes or practicing z-trac is not going to kill anyone (today), but it's not the skills only that we are learning. It is the critical thinking, sense of responsibility, and strength we obtain through the trials we go through that will make us nurses our instructors and peers can be proud of.

Bottom line it is more than clinical skills, or lab value knowledge that make a good nurse. IMHO, instructors (at least the majority) want to produce safe and proficient nurse.

[AussieKylie]

That feeling has happened to me before and probably to many others. Where you dont have a partner and feel so helpless. Surely that teacher should have understood your predicament and had be nice to you and more tactful. I had a teacher who is always on a power trip. I cant stand her and she embarassed me a number of times in labs. I dont give her the satisfaction to allow her to know that I was affected. I hope I never see her again and if I do she better keep her mouth shut.

You will become stronger, you need to rise above people like her. I know its easy to say but hard to do. It will happen.