Just need to vent and have some encouragement (long)

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

My hospital is broke. BROKE. To the point where we're the lowest paid nurses in the area. We can't close cause we're a 260 bed county hospital and the only one around for miles who accepts trauma.

So here's the deal. Our broke-ness has led to a mass exodus of all the "good" nurses- the young, promising, bright nurses who are motivated and enthusiastic. Now the only thing left are the hardened mean old battle axes, the "I have no motivation to go anywhere else so I'll stay here and be miserable and make everyone else miserable" ones and the dumb ones. The morale and team environment on my floor sucks.

I knew this going in from my clinicals there, and still accepted the job because being a New Grad left me with zero options. I felt I had to jump on the first train leaving the station even though it was a broke down rusty old mess. But I had *no idea* how miserable it would make me.

I posted about my preceptor in another thread, so I won't go into detail here about it other than to say that she was horrible, awful, no good and very bad. She sets the tone for all the other nurses I work with: no comeraderie with anyone, wary of "outsiders" and generally unhelpful and mean. Two have stood out as being really awesome, but one of them is currently got her BSN and a year experience so she's being wooed by other places and won't be long until she's gone.

I was lied to when I got hired, saying I'd get cross trained to ICU and ER. Found out that will never happen, the unit supervisor just told me it would happen to get warm bodies in on the floor-- part of the reason we're broke is because of the mass exodus we're having to staff with agency nurses. I was told that during my orientation on days I'd spend at least 3 days in ICU. On my last day of days I asked my floor assistant supervisor (the unit sup is nowhere to be seen, ever) when I would be going over, and I got accused of overstepping my boundaries and then was asked if I really wanted to be there since I was already shopping around for another job. *****?

Our brokeness has led to dirty units. I mean just *dirty* and gross. No staff, no aides, no support. Many times we've had nurses with 5 patients or had the charge carry 4 patients plus act as resource for the LVN plus help a student nurse. Our patients, 9 times out of 10 are on contact isolation from MRSA and VRE cause we care for every indigent IV drug user in the county it seems (it's wintertime, afterall)-- not that I have an issue with that because I think they need care just as much as other people. But can I tell you how many times patients with regular insurance will be admitted from ER post trauma or whatever and the family will insist on having them transferred because "We have insurance, we don't need to be here. The care here is atrocious."

Because of our brokeness, what used to be the ICU step down unit (my unit, aka the Progressive Care Unit) is now just med-surg with tele. They don't want to pay us for being a PCU unit but we still get vented patients, heparin drip patients, dobutamine drip patients, etc. All of the things you'd expect from a PCU unit. So they left the floor the same but just renamed it so they could justify paying us less. So no raises in the past 2 years. None forseen either.

I am smart, motivated, assertive. I ask good questions with very strong rationales, I am intelligent and friendly. This has made me marked with a scarlet A-- they call me aggrressive, a loudmouth, tell me I butt in too much and that I'm trying too hard to fit in. So when I interrupt a conversation about where Nurse X bought her knockoff coach purse to get help because I've never hung blood before or I have a question about why a certain drug was ordered or need help starting an IV, I'm a buttinsky. I get eyerolls, heave sighs. They think I ought to know all of this by now, they think I should be able to handle 4 patients, nevermind that I've never had a vent patient before, nevemind that nursing school left me sorely lacking for experience with jevity feeds or hanging blood (not allowed to do them) and didn't prepare me for all the administrative duties of a floor. But they think I ought to know this by now. And I'm afraid that when I fail miserably on my first day on my own that I'll be ostracized even further because I can't handle it.

Any words of encouragement? I like many others plan to get my year experience and head for the hills because I don't see this getting any better. But to make the next year go by smoothly I am either going to need some serious antidepressants or a crapload of bourbon, or both (haha).

Sorry so long but I needed to vent to people who understand where I'm coming from. My husband god love him is a saint but he doesn't get it.

Thanks guys :)

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I would look for a new job NOW. Seriously.

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OP, you need to change drugs, Brandy is what you need, Bourbon is ineffective.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

OH, man, Super_RN, would I ever like to find a new job. I look every day.

But I'm only 8 shifts in to this one, I haven't even been there a month yet. What do I say to other prospective employers when they ask me why I am leaving this one?

Plus as a new grad my options are so limited. There's literally NO hospitals opening up new grad positions anywhere. So I have to tough it out 6 months at least to find another staff nurse job somewhere else.

Will my bad performance eval (given to me by that awful preceptor) follow me? Can they badmouth me to my new employer? What legally can they say?

Literally, every day, when I pull into the parking lot my stomach sinks and knots up and I cry. Literally every single day.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
My hospital is broke. BROKE. To the point where we're the lowest paid nurses in the area. We can't close cause we're a 260 bed county hospital and the only one around for miles who accepts trauma.

So here's the deal. Our broke-ness has led to a mass exodus of all the "good" nurses- the young, promising, bright nurses who are motivated and enthusiastic. Now the only thing left are the hardened mean old battle axes, the "I have no motivation to go anywhere else so I'll stay here and be miserable and make everyone else miserable" ones and the dumb ones. The morale and team environment on my floor sucks.

I knew this going in from my clinicals there, and still accepted the job because being a New Grad left me with zero options. I felt I had to jump on the first train leaving the station even though it was a broke down rusty old mess. But I had *no idea* how miserable it would make me.

I posted about my preceptor in another thread, so I won't go into detail here about it other than to say that she was horrible, awful, no good and very bad. She sets the tone for all the other nurses I work with: no comeraderie with anyone, wary of "outsiders" and generally unhelpful and mean. Two have stood out as being really awesome, but one of them is currently got her BSN and a year experience so she's being wooed by other places and won't be long until she's gone.

I was lied to when I got hired, saying I'd get cross trained to ICU and ER. Found out that will never happen, the unit supervisor just told me it would happen to get warm bodies in on the floor-- part of the reason we're broke is because of the mass exodus we're having to staff with agency nurses. I was told that during my orientation on days I'd spend at least 3 days in ICU. On my last day of days I asked my floor assistant supervisor (the unit sup is nowhere to be seen, ever) when I would be going over, and I got accused of overstepping my boundaries and then was asked if I really wanted to be there since I was already shopping around for another job. *****?

Our brokeness has led to dirty units. I mean just *dirty* and gross. No staff, no aides, no support. Many times we've had nurses with 5 patients or had the charge carry 4 patients plus act as resource for the LVN plus help a student nurse. Our patients, 9 times out of 10 are on contact isolation from MRSA and VRE cause we care for every indigent IV drug user in the county it seems (it's wintertime, afterall)-- not that I have an issue with that because I think they need care just as much as other people. But can I tell you how many times patients with regular insurance will be admitted from ER post trauma or whatever and the family will insist on having them transferred because "We have insurance, we don't need to be here. The care here is atrocious."

Because of our brokeness, what used to be the ICU step down unit (my unit, aka the Progressive Care Unit) is now just med-surg with tele. They don't want to pay us for being a PCU unit but we still get vented patients, heparin drip patients, dobutamine drip patients, etc. All of the things you'd expect from a PCU unit. So they left the floor the same but just renamed it so they could justify paying us less. So no raises in the past 2 years. None forseen either.

I am smart, motivated, assertive. I ask good questions with very strong rationales, I am intelligent and friendly. This has made me marked with a scarlet A-- they call me aggrressive, a loudmouth, tell me I butt in too much and that I'm trying too hard to fit in. So when I interrupt a conversation about where Nurse X bought her knockoff coach purse to get help because I've never hung blood before or I have a question about why a certain drug was ordered or need help starting an IV, I'm a buttinsky. I get eyerolls, heave sighs. They think I ought to know all of this by now, they think I should be able to handle 4 patients, nevermind that I've never had a vent patient before, nevemind that nursing school left me sorely lacking for experience with jevity feeds or hanging blood (not allowed to do them) and didn't prepare me for all the administrative duties of a floor. But they think I ought to know this by now. And I'm afraid that when I fail miserably on my first day on my own that I'll be ostracized even further because I can't handle it.

Any words of encouragement? I like many others plan to get my year experience and head for the hills because I don't see this getting any better. But to make the next year go by smoothly I am either going to need some serious antidepressants or a crapload of bourbon, or both (haha).

Sorry so long but I needed to vent to people who understand where I'm coming from. My husband god love him is a saint but he doesn't get it.

Thanks guys :)

I stopped reading this post the minute I read that "the only nurses left are the mean old battle-axes." You have no sympathy from this experienced nurse when you talk like that.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Don't take my description of them as allegory for all seasoned nurses. I know some nurses with experience who are awesome, amazing, smart, on the ball, etc. These women that work there have given up and are counting down the days until retirement. One will actually go around and say "Only X more days until I'm out of here."

I'm being true to what they are, not what you are. They are all ready to leave the profession and retire and boy, is it ever evident.

Don't take it personally.

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Specializes in Oncology, LTC.

I know what it's like being a new grad and 'stuck' in your current job. You probably won't be able to accept another job because you are so new. Keep going, stay strong, and just work your butt off for 6 months just so you can get that "New Grad Monkey" off of your back. Once it's off, more opportunities will open for you. (Easier said than done, I know). Stay strong and good luck!

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8 shifts? Yowzers. I have had a job where I cried before I went to work. I'd cry the night before, so I do feel for you. Legally, your current employer is only allowed to say whether you'd be eligible for rehire or not, they cannot badmouth you.

However, if you DO find a job--do NOT badmouth the one you're currently at. It may not be your fit, but you can say that in a non-crappy manner, you know? Don't say, "I hated everyone there, it was disgusting, no one ever helped me".

But here's another question, and I may have missed it--but if your preceptor gave you such a bad eval, why did they take you off orientation? That doesn't say much for them!

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

They haven't taken me off orientation yet, but the opinion of the staff is that I ought to be able to completely care for all 4 of my patients with minimal intervention from my preceptor by now. After my 3 shifts on Dec 17-19th I will be off orientation. That will be 12 total precepted shifts and I will be on my own.

My preceptor even said "The only thing I need to be showing you is where the paperwork is, where the stuff is. I should not be telling you what to do or how to care for your patients." And I was like... does she think I'm agency? Or something? How does she think I ought to know everything just coming out of school? I know the basics. That's it.

Pity part of it is she went to the same school as I did, only 4 years ago, so she knows how minimal the hands on stuff is and what a joke the preceptorship in last semester is-- we're so hobbled out here that the actual management of 4 patients eludes us in nursing school. All my school basically did is prep us for the NCLEX, they said the actual learning part comes on the floor at your first job. Well, here I am on the job and I got 12 shifts to "learn" and I'm out on my own. And I'm afraid if I ask for more time being precepted (and I was promised 6 weeks by my unit sup, I've gotten 3) that I'll be further outcast by these people.

I know it's mostly driven by the need for staff nurses rather than agency nurses, and that presumably COST is the factor. But I'm so dismayed that they're willing to forego PATIENT SAFETY for COST, as they'll let me out on my own when I'm not ready because they prefer me over agency nurses 'cause of the cost.

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Specializes in NICU.

At this point you have to ask yourself why you are working in this facility. I know being a new grad and finding a job is difficult right now but are you tied down to location? Can you move to a larger city or another hospital? I would look for a hospital with a "new grad" program where some sort of preceptor model is used. Get out of this situation!

For the time being, stand up for yourself, read up on the hospital policies when you don't know how to do something and always make yourself a schedule. Don't focus on ER and ICU right now-it will be best to get your bearings in the Med-Surge floor first. And keep in mind that most hospitals don't pay a ICU differential for nurses. We do all sit for same licensure exam-no specialized license for ICU right?

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Well, that's the thing. I live in one city, and work in the next one down south, about 40 minutes away. It was the only place in all of N. Cal within 50 miles of me taking new grads. Nowhere else was taking any. Nowhere. And they don't plan on it anytime soon either.

I accepted the job cause I have a mortgage and a child to raise, and since I wasn't going to be benefitting from the influx of money from my ADN program (I got the Board of Governors fee waiver from the college I went to so all my grants and loans were mine to live on... now in the BSN program that isn't the case and the grants and loans are going for tuition and books) I'm dependent on this job to live. Literally.

I'm literally stuck.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

OP, I have been in your shoes and I can empathize with you a great deal. I overcame the obstacles of nurses who were unwilling to teach by befriending those that were willing. You mentioned a couple of nurses that you really liked that were helping you. Stick with them and ask them questions, because they are likely understanding of the position you are in.

I kept my ear to the ground for open jobs while in this hellhole. I applied and was offered a job 3 months after I started the job from hell. During my interview, the nurse manager DID ask me why I was leaving because 3 months is not a long time to be employed. I told her very frankly that I felt patient safety was being compromised at this institution, and gave her specific examples. Unbeknownst to me, this NM had actually worked for the institution I wanted to leave, and told me that she left for EXACTLY the same reasons. She hired me on the spot, and it was a wonderful place to work.

It may seem like you are in a no-win situation, but you will be surprised what can happen if you are vigilant about seeking other opportunities. You just never know. Keep your head up and trust those nurses who have taken you under their wing. If you feel uncomfortable doing a procedure, then contact your nurse manager. IN WRITING. Send an email with concerns. Only state facts, don't point fingers and make sure that the tone of your email is based on educational guidance. This will produce a paper trail that will prove that you have sought out guidance. The ball will then be in management's court.

I sincerely wish you the best and hope that you can somehow overcome this rocky start to your career. Know that you are a good nurse and that you are being thrown a curve ball by the economic monster. Keep your eyes open for new jobs-they will come. If your hospital is hiring agency nurses, then the opportunities are there but you may not be in the loop of communication.

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