MOJO_RN

I'm sure they are very nice people, but outwardly they are cold, abrasive, mean. I don't know how else to describe them than how I did, they're all Nurse Ratchets. I don't know why you're taking this personally, as if I'm calling you out along with them. If you're a seasoned nurse who has kept current with her practice, who is friendly and helpful and pleasant to new grads who would never think to verbally berate someone publicly or arbitrarily be condescending and rude to a new grad then obviously you're not a "hardened mean old battle-axe." Trust me, I've done the "what am I doing wrong" penance every single day as I leave work. I can't pinpoint a single thing that would cause them to be so nasty right from the beginning, and I am thinking as objectively as I can. But yes, I have made every effort to be polite, unassuming and very respectful. They are visibly annoyed by my questions, they are outright rude when I ask for further clarification. I try every day to be engaged and engaging, to smile, to not let my frustration appear outwardly. Nowhere did I claim to be absolutely wonderful, but I'm not horrible either. I'm friendly to everyone, I'm nice, I'm not an idiot for not knowing how to hang blood or that I needed to fax the pneumonia and flu shot screening to pharmacy or because I can't start an IV all the time or because I ask questions. I'm unsure of myself, yeah, so why not be supportive and foster my self-confidence rather than derisive and cold and just flat out mean for no reason?

LOL of course not, are you kidding? I'm saying that regardless of whether you've been a nurse for 1 year or 100 years you at one time were a student who was scared, unsure, untested, confused, overwhelmed. Nurses did not spring fully formed from the head of a God like Athena. There was a certain period of adjustment. So why on earth would anyone take umbrage to a new grad orientee not knowing anything? And going so far as to have serious attitude problems about it? I said that there have been a few that are awesome. Out of my 5 preceptors (I had originally incorrectly said 4) three of them have been amazing and nice. But the two I had that were bad were very, very bad. And the one I'm so upset about was so egregiously awful that I'm appalled she's even in the profession despite being a really good nurse. And the point I was trying to make was the mismanagement of my facility leading it to its brokeness has left only the dregs of nursing, it seems. Nearly everyone who is motivated and cheerful and still unencumbered by cynicism and jadedness has left-- I know this because I precepted there 3 times for N4, N7 and N9. Several awesome people who were there just as recently as March of this year are no longer there-- they've left for Sutter, Kaiser, UC Davis. Hospitals higher up on the heirarchy of "good places to work." Those that are left are seemingly only marking time until retirement, or live in the area and don't want to drive a commute to another facility (mine is the only one around, one other is about 40 minutes to the north and one other is about 30 minutes to the south). Some I haven't the faintest idea why they're still there, maybe they've grown accustomed to working within the system. But for sure the amount of complaining they do about our facility leaves me wondering why many of them are still there. I am thankful that I even have a job, but that doesn't preclude me from venting about several issues I see and the injustices I feel I am exposed to every day I've been there. I'm hopeful it will get better but right now it sure doesn't seem like it.

Could you change the IV to a y-port and run in both concurrently via a double pump? If you wanted mag and NS to run in together, I think what I would do is spike both bags, set the NS on one side of the pump to run in at KVO (or w/e flow rate is ordered) and the mag on the other side at the prescribed rate and run both tubes to the y-port. Or am I just way off base here?

Well, that's the thing. I live in one city, and work in the next one down south, about 40 minutes away. It was the only place in all of N. Cal within 50 miles of me taking new grads. Nowhere else was taking any. Nowhere. And they don't plan on it anytime soon either. I accepted the job cause I have a mortgage and a child to raise, and since I wasn't going to be benefitting from the influx of money from my ADN program (I got the Board of Governors fee waiver from the college I went to so all my grants and loans were mine to live on... now in the BSN program that isn't the case and the grants and loans are going for tuition and books) I'm dependent on this job to live. Literally. I'm literally stuck.

They haven't taken me off orientation yet, but the opinion of the staff is that I ought to be able to completely care for all 4 of my patients with minimal intervention from my preceptor by now. After my 3 shifts on Dec 17-19th I will be off orientation. That will be 12 total precepted shifts and I will be on my own. My preceptor even said "The only thing I need to be showing you is where the paperwork is, where the stuff is. I should not be telling you what to do or how to care for your patients." And I was like... does she think I'm agency? Or something? How does she think I ought to know everything just coming out of school? I know the basics. That's it. Pity part of it is she went to the same school as I did, only 4 years ago, so she knows how minimal the hands on stuff is and what a joke the preceptorship in last semester is-- we're so hobbled out here that the actual management of 4 patients eludes us in nursing school. All my school basically did is prep us for the NCLEX, they said the actual learning part comes on the floor at your first job. Well, here I am on the job and I got 12 shifts to "learn" and I'm out on my own. And I'm afraid if I ask for more time being precepted (and I was promised 6 weeks by my unit sup, I've gotten 3) that I'll be further outcast by these people. I know it's mostly driven by the need for staff nurses rather than agency nurses, and that presumably COST is the factor. But I'm so dismayed that they're willing to forego PATIENT SAFETY for COST, as they'll let me out on my own when I'm not ready because they prefer me over agency nurses 'cause of the cost.

Don't take my description of them as allegory for all seasoned nurses. I know some nurses with experience who are awesome, amazing, smart, on the ball, etc. These women that work there have given up and are counting down the days until retirement. One will actually go around and say "Only X more days until I'm out of here." I'm being true to what they are, not what you are. They are all ready to leave the profession and retire and boy, is it ever evident. Don't take it personally.

OH, man, Super_RN, would I ever like to find a new job. I look every day. But I'm only 8 shifts in to this one, I haven't even been there a month yet. What do I say to other prospective employers when they ask me why I am leaving this one? Plus as a new grad my options are so limited. There's literally NO hospitals opening up new grad positions anywhere. So I have to tough it out 6 months at least to find another staff nurse job somewhere else. Will my bad performance eval (given to me by that awful preceptor) follow me? Can they badmouth me to my new employer? What legally can they say? Literally, every day, when I pull into the parking lot my stomach sinks and knots up and I cry. Literally every single day.

My hospital is broke. BROKE. To the point where we're the lowest paid nurses in the area. We can't close cause we're a 260 bed county hospital and the only one around for miles who accepts trauma. So here's the deal. Our broke-ness has led to a mass exodus of all the "good" nurses- the young, promising, bright nurses who are motivated and enthusiastic. Now the only thing left are the hardened mean old battle axes, the "I have no motivation to go anywhere else so I'll stay here and be miserable and make everyone else miserable" ones and the dumb ones. The morale and team environment on my floor sucks. I knew this going in from my clinicals there, and still accepted the job because being a New Grad left me with zero options. I felt I had to jump on the first train leaving the station even though it was a broke down rusty old mess. But I had *no idea* how miserable it would make me. I posted about my preceptor in another thread, so I won't go into detail here about it other than to say that she was horrible, awful, no good and very bad. She sets the tone for all the other nurses I work with: no comeraderie with anyone, wary of "outsiders" and generally unhelpful and mean. Two have stood out as being really awesome, but one of them is currently got her BSN and a year experience so she's being wooed by other places and won't be long until she's gone. I was lied to when I got hired, saying I'd get cross trained to ICU and ER. Found out that will never happen, the unit supervisor just told me it would happen to get warm bodies in on the floor-- part of the reason we're broke is because of the mass exodus we're having to staff with agency nurses. I was told that during my orientation on days I'd spend at least 3 days in ICU. On my last day of days I asked my floor assistant supervisor (the unit sup is nowhere to be seen, ever) when I would be going over, and I got accused of overstepping my boundaries and then was asked if I really wanted to be there since I was already shopping around for another job. *****? Our brokeness has led to dirty units. I mean just *dirty* and gross. No staff, no aides, no support. Many times we've had nurses with 5 patients or had the charge carry 4 patients plus act as resource for the LVN plus help a student nurse. Our patients, 9 times out of 10 are on contact isolation from MRSA and VRE cause we care for every indigent IV drug user in the county it seems (it's wintertime, afterall)-- not that I have an issue with that because I think they need care just as much as other people. But can I tell you how many times patients with regular insurance will be admitted from ER post trauma or whatever and the family will insist on having them transferred because "We have insurance, we don't need to be here. The care here is atrocious." Because of our brokeness, what used to be the ICU step down unit (my unit, aka the Progressive Care Unit) is now just med-surg with tele. They don't want to pay us for being a PCU unit but we still get vented patients, heparin drip patients, dobutamine drip patients, etc. All of the things you'd expect from a PCU unit. So they left the floor the same but just renamed it so they could justify paying us less. So no raises in the past 2 years. None forseen either. I am smart, motivated, assertive. I ask good questions with very strong rationales, I am intelligent and friendly. This has made me marked with a scarlet A-- they call me aggrressive, a loudmouth, tell me I butt in too much and that I'm trying too hard to fit in. So when I interrupt a conversation about where Nurse X bought her knockoff coach purse to get help because I've never hung blood before or I have a question about why a certain drug was ordered or need help starting an IV, I'm a buttinsky. I get eyerolls, heave sighs. They think I ought to know all of this by now, they think I should be able to handle 4 patients, nevermind that I've never had a vent patient before, nevemind that nursing school left me sorely lacking for experience with jevity feeds or hanging blood (not allowed to do them) and didn't prepare me for all the administrative duties of a floor. But they think I ought to know this by now. And I'm afraid that when I fail miserably on my first day on my own that I'll be ostracized even further because I can't handle it. Any words of encouragement? I like many others plan to get my year experience and head for the hills because I don't see this getting any better. But to make the next year go by smoothly I am either going to need some serious antidepressants or a crapload of bourbon, or both (haha). Sorry so long but I needed to vent to people who understand where I'm coming from. My husband god love him is a saint but he doesn't get it. Thanks guys :)

Oh man am I right there with you. I just started at a place where I feel like I've been thrown to the wolves. Started off with a HUGE misunderstanding-- was told I'd get to cross-train to ICU and ER by the nurse manager... turns out that no new orientee has floated to either in at least 2 years, so imagine my surprise when I was called into the office and berated for going down to ER an introducing myself to the manager there and touching base with her... you know, in keeping with the advice I got when I graduated that you ought to go and introduce yourself to the nurse manager on the floor you applied to, to help you get a job. I just figured hey, I have time why not go pop in and say hi and touch base. Well, boy was I ever embarassed. So now I'm "that girl" who's "too aggressive"... yay. So fast forward to Wednesday night, my first night shift. I'd had about 6 days on days where they just gave me 4 patients and said "go." Wait, what? I am caring for all 4 patients by myself on my first day? My first preceptor (I've had 4 so far and only 8 shifts) thought total immersion was the way to go, and that's about the summation of any formal orientation I got. Needless to say I didn't learn anything, got way behind, cried a lot, forgot a bunch of things... you know, the usual. I had HOPED that nights were going to be easier, but no that was wrong too. No aides, no help, tons of admits... my preceptor started off the night with horrible attitude and obvious annoyance at my questions and this kept on until about the middle of Thursday's shift where I finally had enough of her snapping, her rolling her eyes when I had a question, etc. I was frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, angry. She would snap at me when I asked questions, and start answering them halfway through, before I had even finished talking. Coupled with heavy sighs and shaking her head, finally I said "You know? Nobody comes out of nursing school perfect. Give me a break." I was way behind then too because of the admission that I was late with meds, I forgot information that I looked up about Midorine, ... the whole 9 yards of fail. That was me that night. Well, at the end of Thursday's shift she had a talk with me. She told me that my attitude was poor, that she expected me to be able to handle the "easy" assignment I had (yeah, a trach patient on Jevity feeds in a new peg tube, a dialysis patient with fluid overload and SOB, a drug seeker who wanted RTC morphine and an admission) and that she had serious doubts about my ability. She said "I'm an adult, you need to start acting like one." Excuse me?? She then said that all of this was going to be written up in a report what was going to be given to the unit supervisor, the floor supervisor, and nursing education. I asked if I would have an opportunity to evaluate her, because I felt that all the help I asked for was begrudgingly given and I also felt her attitude was unwarranted. She got VERY defensive and said "You can tell them whatever you want about me, I don't care." She then said "Nobody on the floor is going to want to help you with your attitude. I guarantee you, nobody on nights is going to do anything for you." And then the kicker: "If you want to walk away nobody is going to say anything." Was she just trying to encourage me to quit??? Then she gave me a terse "good luck" and walked out. I cried the whole way home in the car, she made me question my ability, my intelligence, she made me wonder why I had gotten into this field at all, she made me feel stupid and unwelcome. I found out that she had just been doing things for me, most aggravatingly answering phone calls from the MDs about patients and not telling me. She set up the room for my vent patient and pointed at it and said "That's how the room's supposed to look for a a patient on a vent with jevity feeds." and then walked off! Then at report in the morning she's telling the nurse coming on about the patient getting a Swan for CVP monitoring (which I thought needed to be an ICU patient... right?) and I never heard about that at all, but apparently an MD had told her during a phone call, that she never communicated with me. The worst part about it is that she sat all night and talked with the charge nurse about me and the charge nurse who had once been friendly and genial is now cold and silent and terse. This hospital hasn't given me a formal orientation yet, I'm lucky I'm familiar with some of the stuff that goes on because I did Nursing 4, 7, and 9 there, but I'm nowhere near proficient!! This is SO unfair that I really considered leaving nursing altogether, but coming on here reading what you all had to say has made me feel so much better. I don't feel so bad now about needing extra help. But still when I think about Wednesday and Thursday's shifts I still cry. Can a bad performance eval and her basically telling me I can walk away and nobody would say anything.. I mean, can they fire me?