Just looking for some other opinions on a topic that came up on Oprah

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I just finished watching todays episode of Oprah Winfrey and wanted to post here as I was curious as to how others feel.

Okay so her guest today was a woman who married a man and found out shortly after the honeymoon that she was HIV+. The husband was tested and found to also be HIV+. For a period it was thought that she had infected him, despite her having very few sexual partners or having any other high risk behaviors. When the virus progressed and he was determined to be in the AIDS stage of the illness and she was still just HIV+ it became apparent that she had not infected him but that he must have infected her. She confronted him after her brother encouraged her to and asked him how many men he had slept with. He admitted 2 relationships with men. She later found e-mails that were explicit with men. --They ended up divorcing and she suing him for 2 point something million. He is broke so she has yet to see any of the money. ---

Okay so I just wanted to give the background of this story--here is where I am wondering how others feel.

The woman who has now been HIV+ for 10 years has met a new man who knows about her HIV and they decided to get pregnant and have a baby together. She is taking the anti-retrovirals she needs to be taking to make it the least chance of the baby contracting the virus when delivered.

Okay I know women sometimes get pregnant and don't know that they are HIV+ until after already pregnant and I can totally understand why they continue the pregnancy and take all the meds they can and get the care they need to do what they can to prevent the baby from being born HIV+. But my issue is with a women who knows she is HIV+ purposfully getting pregnant and just hoping the baby isn't born HIV+.

How do you all feel about this?? I know I am probably going to get a mix of responses but I just wanted to see what others opinions were.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

It is not a choice I would make, and I think it's an irresponsible choice, but it's not a topic on which I feel particularly "hot"

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It's a terrible idea to bring a child into that world that will most likely be born with a terminal illness. This woman should be ashamed of herself. There are millions of children that need adoption out there.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
It's a terrible idea to bring a child into that world that will most likely be born with a terminal illness. This woman should be ashamed of herself. There are millions of children that need adoption out there.

While I can't disagree that there are plenty of children already born that need good homes, I can't agree with your first statement. With good prenatal care and antiretroviral therapy during pregnancy and after birth, the child has better chances of being born HIV- than HIV+.

I don't think her choice is the best one, but there are plenty of people who make childbearing decisions that I wouldn't make.

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Specializes in LTC.

I have mixed feelings on this one. I can see the womens' side on this, her wanting to be a mom. However, the child doesn't have a choice whether to be born or not. It is sad that the child may be at risk for hiv and didn't have a choice in the matter.

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I don't see the issue. The woman is preparing for pregnancy with antivirals and sounds to be well educated on what to do, and will probably be compliant with the treatment needed during pregnancy. March of Dimes has done studies and found that it's 2% risk of passing on HIV in infected mothers versus a 50% risk on those who don't take antivirals and take other precautions.

Pregnancy is a risk, having a child is a risk. In this scenario, the parents just know one of the risks beforehand.

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It's a terrible idea to bring a child into that world that will most likely be born with a terminal illness. This woman should be ashamed of herself. There are millions of children that need adoption out there.

If you are taking antivirals the transmission rate is very low, so the child will most likely be fine, actually.

Frankly, I think it's no one's business but this family's.

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I just finished watching todays episode of Oprah Winfrey and wanted to post here as I was curious as to how others feel.

Okay so her guest today was a woman who married a man and found out shortly after the honeymoon that she was HIV+. The husband was tested and found to also be HIV+. For a period it was thought that she had infected him, despite her having very few sexual partners or having any other high risk behaviors. When the virus progressed and he was determined to be in the AIDS stage of the illness and she was still just HIV+ it became apparent that she had not infected him but that he must have infected her. She confronted him after her brother encouraged her to and asked him how many men he had slept with. He admitted 2 relationships with men. She later found e-mails that were explicit with men. --They ended up divorcing and she suing him for 2 point something million. He is broke so she has yet to see any of the money. ---

Okay so I just wanted to give the background of this story--here is where I am wondering how others feel.

The woman who has now been HIV+ for 10 years has met a new man who knows about her HIV and they decided to get pregnant and have a baby together. She is taking the anti-retrovirals she needs to be taking to make it the least chance of the baby contracting the virus when delivered.

Okay I know women sometimes get pregnant and don't know that they are HIV+ until after already pregnant and I can totally understand why they continue the pregnancy and take all the meds they can and get the care they need to do what they can to prevent the baby from being born HIV+. But my issue is with a women who knows she is HIV+ purposfully getting pregnant and just hoping the baby isn't born HIV+.

How do you all feel about this?? I know I am probably going to get a mix of responses but I just wanted to see what others opinions were.

I was wondering the same as i watched the show. I thought she was a bit selfish for a couple of reasons...1) She may infect the baby and the baby has to live this world with HIV for the rest of their life. If there is even a less than 1% chance of infecting the baby, the risk should not be taken. she should have adopted or other woman carry it for her using invitro technique if she insists on having a child. 2) She might die before her baby grows old and the baby will end up motherless.

Anyhow, I've never had that motherly instinct thus I really dont understand the logic behind wanting/having a child to begin with.

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma.

i think it's extremely selfish- even in the likelihood the child is not born hiv+, the child will most likely eventually have to suffer through losing his/her parent(s) (depending on how they go about getting pregnant, if the father contracts the disease at some point).

don't even get me started on suing someone because you made the decision to sleep with them without protection, and marry them, and all without being tested.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

why was it wrong enough for her to sue but ok for her not to tell her new partner or allow another unsuspecting person to become infected? Sounds like a selfish creep to me

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Specializes in ED.

Of course, there are advances in medicine every single day but I am also concerned that this woman's HIV could advance to AIDS at any time with or without the antivirals, etc.

In my opinion as a mother, i think it is irresponsible to bring a child into the world knowing that I might not be around to see my child graduate from high school or even go to her first day of kindergarten.

I've seen first hand the devastation a child endures when he loses a child. My own step-child lost his mother at age 5 or 6. I came around when he was 9 and there were a lot of struggles that I wouldn't wish on my own child.

I just find it selfish and irresponsible.

I'm not making this a moral or ethical debate please. This is just my opinion on this issue today.

m

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Specializes in pediatrics, public health.
why was it wrong enough for her to sue but ok for her not to tell her new partner or allow another unsuspecting person to become infected? Sounds like a selfish creep to me

She DID tell her new partner -- he chose to marry her anyway. That's a risk he's free to choose to take. She was not told by her previous partner that he was HIV+, so she never got to make that choice. And if one knows one's partner is infected, one can take precautions (of course, one should take precautions anyway, and this case is a good example of why!)

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