Just got the passive aggressive CC email. Advice please!

[SNAMATT]

The background to my story begins with a employee who interpreted my interactions with her as "unprofessional" and reported me to HR because she feels I was mean to her because she wanted to go home in the middle of her shift, which I allowed her to do. I am a nurse, she is a PCT. I am 1 of 2 assistant managers. We share same director. I can honestly say I was surprised she went to HR because My interaction with her had been professional and direct. But this isn't the problem....

She goes on to send an email that involves staffing on the unit to my director and the other manager (my equal) and decides to "cc" me. I know it's petty, but it's passive aggressive and staff splitting. In addition, she has fabricated the interaction we had about her "going home" to my staff by saying I slammed my belongings when she wanted to go home and so on. She is slandering my name and now playing games with emails. It needs to stop. Just wanted to seek advise from the community. Email etiquette states you only cc those whom you don't expect a response from. But I'm in charge of staffing! How should I address?!

[Kayauhs]

You are giving this person far too much power

over your own reactions.

Ignore it and move on.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I know the type. I would ignore the emails. She has identified herself as a troublemaker.. her days are numbered.

[inthecosmos, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN]

If she was allowed to go home, why on Earth would she be mad at you? I'm missing that entirely. Two sides to every story.

[Crush]

If she was allowed to go home, why on Earth would she be mad at you? I'm missing that entirely. Two sides to every story.

My thoughts exactly.

[SNAMATT]

My thoughts exactly.

Yes, she got to go home. But she was upset because she felt I was mean about it. NOT the case. I was direct. I guess she wanted me to hold her in my loving arms and tell her to take all the time she needed... idk.

[NurseBlaq]

Agree with what everyone else has said. I would also add not to speak to her alone again. Always have a witness so as to not be accused of being "mean" or whatever her gripe was.

[Neats, BSN]

In my healthcare career I have worked with a lot of passive-aggressive nurses/healthcare staff. I just ignore them and move along. I also am very clear, firm, fair and consistent with these people. I always keep a journal of my daily activities (HIPAA approved) so when things do come up I can look at dates times...

I have had my tires slashed, had people lie, had people involve their family/friends and attack verbally while I was at a restaurant, I have people call the corporate hot line phone number what I affectionately call is 1800 I hate my boss/supervisor. What I have never had was a sanction on my licenses or in my employee file. I am a straight shooter.

I do not get passive aggressive back (it is far to easy to do this) I just make things very clear and give them a time limit about the tasks that need to be done. These people always seem to need something that is OK I usually sum up the shift before we leave to, just trying to meet their needs.

Do not take this personally, just continue to be the nurse you are, you can control your emotions only everything else is just stirring the pot, stay out of the pot.

[JKL33]

Yes, she got to go home. But she was upset because she felt I was mean about it. NOT the case. I was direct. I guess she wanted me to hold her in my loving arms and tell her to take all the time she needed... idk.

Okay, that was funny and made me laugh. I think many of us can relate. Having to finesse "being direct" is not easy.

Part of your job is handling employee matters honestly (substitute for "directly") but as kindly as possible. If you are recognizably displaying frustration and dissatisfaction (or thinly-veiled anger, resentment, etc.) in such interactions, you will have to change. I'm serious.

Are the people interacting with patients allowed to care for patients by correctly completing tasks while visibly displaying their displeasure at whatever inconveniences patients, families, or coworkers come up with? Nope. Not at all.

Since this employee's need to leave has nothing to do with you, you simply need to soldier on through the day the way every one of the rest of us need to when things or people happen to wreck our plans.

A frequent benefit of being kind and saying something like, "I understand if you need to take care of a personal matter. We'll get by..." combined with making sure all employees know how absences are handled (as far as discipline, etc.) is that antagonism is avoided and you might just find that people "rise to the occasion" of being treated with respect. They like how you treated them and they want to do the same. And if they aren't those kind of people, time is short for them anyway, right??

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Yes, she got to go home. But she was upset because she felt I was mean about it. NOT the case. I was direct. I guess she wanted me to hold her in my loving arms and tell her to take all the time she needed... idk.

One person's "direct" is another person's "mean." Maybe she is overly sensitive, or perhaps you don't have the insight to see how you come off to others. Would a reasonable person witnessing this encounter agree with your assessment, or hers? Impossible to know. Be sure you aren't justifying rude and/or counterproductive behavior by calling it "direct."

It's okay to be firm, or delegate according to scope/policy, manage ancillary personnel according to your job description, etc., but there really is a way to accomplish all goals while also treating people around you with kindness and respect. Do it correctly, and people will go above and beyond. Being overly "direct," or authoritarian, using body language that belies one's words, etc., will not get you the results you desire.

[SNAMATT]

One person's "direct" is another person's "mean." Maybe she is overly sensitive, or perhaps you don't have the insight to see how you come off to others. Would a reasonable person witnessing this encounter agree with your assessment, or hers? Impossible to know. Be sure you aren't justifying rude and/or counterproductive behavior by calling it "direct."

It's okay to be firm, or delegate according to scope/policy, manage ancillary personnel according to your job description, etc., but there really is a way to accomplish all goals while also treating people around you with kindness and respect. Do it correctly, and people will go above and beyond. Being overly "direct," or authoritarian, using body language that belies one's words, etc., will not get you the results you desire.

I have the insight to know how I come across when I communicate with co-workers/ pts. Believe it or not, I take the time to analyze my own bias. I have been wrong in the past. When I have been wrong I have apologized. We all have moments. This particular employee has experienced many "moments" that make me question her character. She has had multiple interactions with various staff that have been counterproductive . Again, this is only my side. I get that. BUT im not a b.s.er. My priority is my pts and staff.

[chare]

It's a complicated situation. Im just going to ignore it after reading response. However, it was a "jab" at me. Believe it or not, email etiquette is a thing. You "CC" individuals to keep them in the know. You insert names in "To" to receive response.

Then why don't you provide some reference for this "email etiquette" of which you speak, ad I am unaware of this as well and routinely CC folks with the only read on being to make them aware, without expectation of a reply.

[chare]

We receive training during orientation on email etiquette lol. Not supposed to have quotes, crazy colors, or even email address on signature. She knew what she was doing. But these comments helped me get over it! Long week! Just finishing 7 days of on call.lol

Again, where is the prohibition to only CC someone with the expectation of them replying.