Just got the passive aggressive CC email. Advice please!

vanilla bean · Apr 23, 2018

Is it possible you're reading too much into being included as a "cc"? I have never heard of this "email etiquette" of which you speak that "you only cc those whom you don't expect a response from." I often cc people who I want to keep in the loop of the conversation or who might have something to add but aren't the main person I'm writing to or directing my questions/comments to. Assuming that it's passive aggressive seems like a stretch.

My advice is to deal with the larger real issues with this staff member and forget about this perceived email etiquette slight.

Sour Lemon · Apr 23, 2018

The background to my story begins with a employee who interpreted my interactions with her as "unprofessional" and reported me to HR because she feels I was mean to her because she wanted to go home in the middle of her shift, which I allowed her to do. I am a nurse, she is a PCT. I am 1 of 2 assistant managers. We share same director. I can honestly say I was surprised she went to HR because My interaction with her had been professional and direct. But this isn't the problem....
She goes on to send an email that involves staffing on the unit to my director and the other manager (my equal) and decides to "cc" me. I know it's petty, but it's passive aggressive and staff splitting. In addition, she has fabricated the interaction we had about her "going home" to my staff by saying I slammed my belongings when she wanted to go home and so on. She is slandering my name and now playing games with emails. It needs to stop. Just wanted to seek advise from the community. Email etiquette states you only cc those whom you don't expect a response from. But I'm in charge of staffing! How should I address?!

These things are very difficult to judge with one side of the story ...and incomplete information, even on the side of the story that you have. I tend to be very direct and would probably seek to correct any misunderstanding if one had occurred. On the other hand, some people are just "crazy" and I tend to ignore the weird things they do. With those people, I assume everyone will see them as the problem.

klone, MSN, RN · Apr 23, 2018

Email etiquette states you only cc those whom you don't expect a response from.

It does?

I agree with others; I think you're reading too much into the "cc" thing

JKL33 · Apr 23, 2018

You would be wise not to make any assumptions about this.

My first thought was as reply #1 above. You have no idea that this person knows of said cc etiquette. It's possible she cc'd you so not to appear as going behind your back with her concerns. It's also possible that you are exactly right about her intentions, but even if you are what do you think the chances are that she will miraculously confess? No. If you're correct, she will double down and also say you are wrong and are trying to malign her.

How about simply saying you were surprised to hear of her take on the situation and will make an opportunity to talk it through with her.

If you can't take the high road you will increase the plausibility of her accusations.

Good luck ~

SNAMATT · Apr 23, 2018

It's a complicated situation. Im just going to ignore it after reading response. However, it was a "jab" at me. Believe it or not, email etiquette is a thing. You "CC" individuals to keep them in the know. You insert names in "To" to receive response.

klone, MSN, RN · Apr 23, 2018

I guess I don't understand why it's bad or passive-aggressive that she wanted to keep you in the know?

klone, MSN, RN · Apr 23, 2018

I also think it's possible that since several of us were not aware of this elusive email etiquette rule, perhaps she was not aware also.

SNAMATT · Apr 23, 2018

We receive training during orientation on email etiquette lol. Not supposed to have quotes, crazy colors, or even email address on signature. She knew what she was doing. But these comments helped me get over it! Long week! Just finishing 7 days of on call.lol

curiousMD · Apr 23, 2018

I thought that "To" meant people you are engaging in direct conversation with and "cc" stands for carbon copy. So if this was like paper letters, you'd send postage to the "to" people and the "cc" people get sent a copy. I always interpreted as CC meaning that you're keeping people in the loop. Impossible to say what is on her mind. Could be passive aggressive, could be her just keeping you in the loop. Work conflicts/politics are not that uncommon. I'd say the best you can do is try to put on your best face, keep everyone in the loop on any communications so people don't interpret it as you going behind people's backs, and try to look like an enthusiastic team player focused on finding resolutions versus coming across as defensive even if the other party is wrong. As an above poster said, take the high road.

brandyalexander · Apr 23, 2018

I thought that "To" meant people you are engaging in direct conversation with and "cc" stands for carbon copy. So if this was like paper letters, you'd send postage to the "to" people and the "cc" people get sent a copy. I always interpreted as CC meaning that you're keeping people in the loop.

I thought the exact same thing! SNAMATT, I agree with the others, just take the high road as we don't know that she definitely does think/know the same as you when it comes to CC emails. Also it's hard to say what may be going through her mind. I'd just keep in touch with your equal, your director and your HR rep(s) and let them know of any communication that happens, just so you can be sure you've been completely above board and (and I hate how this is going to come across sounding but I can't think of a better way to put it!) that you've been completely reasonable and have nothing to hide (I hate saying that!). If the problem lies with her, they'll find that out pretty quickly!

SNAMATT · Apr 23, 2018

Appreciate your response. Im really a fun loving person and I'm disappointed about this whole situation. In 10 plus years of nursing, I have never experienced this. I know it's hard for ppl to comprehend, but her intent was malicious. From the HR thing to the stupid email. I'm a nurse....my job is to assess....and I know through previous interactions and emails that she was trying to upset me. Shes a problem and I'll let my "equal" handle her daily issues and emergencies.