jealousy/avoidance of top students?

Jules A, MSN · Jul 11, 2008

I also was among the top in my class but I don't feel that I was treated any different. Your name made me smile, Freudian slip? :)

queenjane · Jul 11, 2008

No Freudian slip, it's the name of my favorite Grateful Dead song.:chuckle

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2008

Hi there! I am new to this site, this is my first posting. I am an RN nursing student, approaching my senior year this fall. I have sort of a weird problem....has anyone else experienced this? I don't volunteer my test scores to anyone, of course, but occasionally people ask, and I will tell them what I got on the latest test. Long story short, in a small class (about 30) I and one other student very rarely get below a 90 on tests. I try to be friendly to everyone, I'm a "people-pleaser"! I want to be friends with everyone! But I feel lately like people are just avoiding me somewhat, and they act as if I am a snob or something. I go out of my way not to advertise my grades, and be open to friendships with everyone in my class. I'm not any smarter than anyone else, I just study my butt off, pretty much every night. Am I paranoid, or has anyone else experienced this?:wink2:

I would say it's fair to assume all nursing students are pretty competitive. There were 13 who finished in my nursing class, and I recall everyone had a 3.0 or better. Every person was a great student. Each student had their own body system that they were better at than another... it's just practice for the real world of nursing (and anywhere else, really). Good thing is, though, grades don't matter once you have your license. Levels the playing field.

queenjane · Jul 12, 2008

Absolutely, we nursing students are a competetive bunch! I guess my skin is too thin-my instructors and the director of the nursing program frequently greet me, tell me how proud they are of me, how great I am doing, etc., and I just cringe, because I know other classmates hear this and may resent me for it, or think the instructors are playing favorites. I wish the teachers would just say "good-morning" and walk on by!

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · Jul 12, 2008

Yep, I felt it in school. And the harder a test was, the more they hated my scores.

Oh well.

NurseKatie08, MSN · Jul 12, 2008

Oh I hear you, I was in my school's honors program (only nursing major in this year's graduating class). I didn't advertise my grades (would always just say I did fine, or was happy with my score). People always assumed that because I was in the honors program and had a senior paper to do & was involved on campus that I was smarter. It irked me to no end....I was in the program because I enjoyed learning & enjoyed the opportunities it opened up for me while in school--not because I was smarter than anyone else. Graduated with a 3.2, and while that is nothing to sneeze at, I know other nursing students that had higher GPAs. Just let it roll off your back...be proud of your work, and like someone else mentioned, when you get in the real world, the playing field will be leveled because grades won't matter.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jul 12, 2008

I graduated top of my class, and I didn't want it known. I NEVER shared my grades, even when asked. It was not because I was stuck up, but because I didn't want the additional pressure and I was always focusing on what was coming up next that I needed to master. In fact, once, a professor announced that I got a 100% in front of the entire class. I told her that I would have rather that it stayed secret, and she didn't care that I really wanted to be more discrete.

It did bring about more pressure, because those that were not trying to earn their grades used to want to sit next to me during exams to cheat, and many wanted to form study groups with me, which, did not work for me because I preferred to study alone. Don't know what to tell you, but, just survive the best way you can, and to be honest, I wouldn't answer them, even when asked. Just say "I'm just glad the test is over" and maybe speak to your professors and ask for their discretion. Way to go, though! Be proud!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2008

By the 2nd year I was one of the top students and if there was gossip and jealousy, I didn't here it and it wouldn't have affected me anyway.

Let's talk about people pleasing and your desire to want to be friends with everyone. I was the same way much of my life, and still to some extent and like that, but it reeks of lack of self-esteem - I know because I struggled with self-esteem much of my adulthood.

Sometimes our people pleasing tendancies is manifested in competetiveness and a drive to only make A's, which is rooted in a desire to please our parents or base our self-esteem on outward achievements.

To me the issue you're speaking of in this post is not about other people, because you can't control them. Your answer to this problem lies within.

Sorry for the pyscho babble, take it or leave it. LOL

queenjane · Jul 12, 2008

It definately is a self-esteem issue, one I've been struggling with all my life. I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else has had similar problems. I know I need to be who I am, those who don't like it, too bad, and surround myself with people who are not petty and like me for who I am. Yesterday, in clinical, no less, a student asked me what I got on the last test, I said a 95, and she literally just rolled her eyes at me, said "Oh, my God!", I felt like saying, geez, you asked!

pagandeva2000, LPN · Jul 12, 2008

Yes, it's true, she asked and she got an answer. But, would she have felt better if you told her you failed? It sounds like it, unfortunately! I guess I felt that it was not worth the stress, so, I decided to just not talk about it. I was really too nervous to count my chickens before they hatched...a few 90s was great, but I was more concerned with graduating and then, passing NCLEX.

Bottom line is that you earned those grades! YOU put the blood, sweat and tears into this and it is showing, which is what counts. I think it is better to look after your own sanity and do what is best for you.

Jules A, MSN · Jul 12, 2008

No Freudian slip, it's the name of my favorite Grateful Dead song.:chuckle

I should have known that!

Hang in there and just do your thing.