It's not my job to pray with you.

Purple_roses · Jul 13, 2015

I am not upset. I was uncomfortable. The patient wanted me to comfort her in this way and I felt it was not my place to do so. I've also had male patients ask me to comfort them with sexual favours. I was uncomfortable with that too. They are on the same level to me.

If you feel equally uncomfortable with both situations then, for your own sake, you really should get someone else to pray with the person. As I said earlier, sometimes people are afraid or hesitant to join in religious rituals for good reasons. It isn't anyone's place to judge those reasons.

That being said, please realize that your patients who are asking you to pray have a much different mindset than someone who is asking you for sexual favors. The person who is asking for sexual favors has no respect for you. The person who asks you to join in prayer simply wants his/her nurse to be there for him/her.

kickatthedark · Jul 13, 2015

Atheism is not a religion. It is simply a lack of. Just like not collecting stamps isn't a hobby.

kickatthedark · Jul 13, 2015

I disagree. There are some old men of certain cultures who are taught that it's a nurses job to "relieve their needs". No joke. They're not saying it out of disrespect, they simply want to feel good. That's fine, but like praying with people...relieving male patients needs is not my job.

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Jul 13, 2015

I am not religious. I do not pray. If praying makes you feel good then awesome. Do that. When patients are religious and need spirutual support, I am the first one to find their local pastor/rabbi/medicine man/etc. for them. This is how I can support my patient. I do not feel however, that I should be pressured to say prayers. yes, I will give my patient space and quiet time to pray if they want, but i don't feel it's my job to pray with patients. I feel this is over the line.

Hmmm.... I have not read the entire thread. But I think you are doing your job if u call for a chaplain to assist the family in prayer.

As for me, myself, I love it when a pt asks me to pray with them/for them. I'm a Christian and love these opportunities.

allnurses Guide · Jul 13, 2015

Atheism is not a religion. It is simply a lack of. Just like not collecting stamps isn't a hobby.

You're right if one describes religion as a belief system or of a spiritual nature the atheist chooses not to become involved with or subscribe to. There are the activist atheists who go beyond that and attempt to convince believers that what they believe in is actually a force for evil in the world. That is obviously a very complex question, but it isn't live and let live, either.

I remember one Christmas Eve on Twitter Bill Maher took the opportunity to ridicule Christians and mock the story of the Jesus' birth with his "evidence" it was all BS. That's not "lack of", that's arrogant, disrespectful baiting and he isn't the only one who does it.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 13, 2015

The person who asks you to join in prayer simply wants his/her nurse to be there for him/her.

I'm not so sure that's always the case. And even if it were, that's not my job.

I get that asking for sexual favors is more about power than about sex -- as is rape. But sometimes, asking the nurse to join in prayer is as much about power -- or more. I've been in more than one situation when someone -- usually not the patient or immediate family because they ARE scared -- tries to foist an evangelical prayer on the nurse. I have no problem standing quietly with my head bowed for a brief, quiet prayer. But when you want me to participate in a full blown prayer circle complete with "Hallejuah!"s and "Praise the LORD!"s, that's about power. And I have other things to do than take a big chunk of my time to participate in that so the pastor can smirk about bringing religion to the heathen nurse. I'll grant you that it's more common in certain areas of the country and certain religions. And it seems to be becoming more common in the past several years.

I have "participated" (head bowed, standing quietly) in prayers from many faiths and even in a voodoo ceremony (which worked, by the way). But the evangelicals who want to force a protestation of faith from me -- that's about power. And it's wrong.

bagladyrn, RN · Jul 13, 2015

Something those who advocate for "just pray" may want to consider is that insisting that a nurse should go ahead and violate their own strongly held ethical views about not participating is analogous to telling someone with certain strong types of Christian beliefs that they should just "go ahead and participate in that pregnancy termination" or some Jehovahs Witnesses that they should "go ahead and hang that blood".

You should extend the same tolerance which you expect.

Just as in these other situations, calling another who is comfortable in the role is the appropriate thing to do.

Purple_roses · Jul 13, 2015

I'm not so sure that's always the case. And even if it were, that's not my job.
I get that asking for sexual favors is more about power than about sex -- as is rape. But sometimes, asking the nurse to join in prayer is as much about power -- or more. I've been in more than one situation when someone -- usually not the patient or immediate family because they ARE scared -- tries to foist an evangelical prayer on the nurse. I have no problem standing quietly with my head bowed for a brief, quiet prayer. But when you want me to participate in a full blown prayer circle complete with "Hallejuah!"s and "Praise the LORD!"s, that's about power. And I have other things to do than take a big chunk of my time to participate in that so the pastor can smirk about bringing religion to the heathen nurse. I'll grant you that it's more common in certain areas of the country and certain religions. And it seems to be becoming more common in the past several years.
I have "participated" (head bowed, standing quietly) in prayers from many faiths and even in a voodoo ceremony (which worked, by the way). But the evangelicals who want to force a protestation of faith from me -- that's about power. And it's wrong.

I completely agree with you. I hadn't thought about those trying to convert the nurse. I was thinking more along the lines of a patient who wants to whisper a quick prayer and just wants the nurse to be there for that.

Glycerine82, LPN · Jul 13, 2015

OK, so politely decline.

canigraduate · Jul 13, 2015

I completely agree with you. I hadn't thought about those trying to convert the nurse. I was thinking more along the lines of a patient who wants to whisper a quick prayer and just wants the nurse to be there for that.

I hadn't thought about that, either, although it happens to me all the time. I usually just politely thank them for worrying about my soul and go on my merry way.

I never thought of it as being a power thing, but I can see how it can be perceived that way. I guess growing up in a place with JWs, Mormons, Southern Baptists, Evangelicals, Freewills, Muslims, etc., I've gotten used to people trying to recruit my soul for their team and it doesn't bother me. I can see how it could bother other people, though.

rnsheri · Jul 13, 2015

I agree, you build up a tolerance!

BsumerRN · Jul 14, 2015

Just to clarify they do not. Christians and Jews believe in the same God. Christians believe the messiah has come once and will return a second time. Jews believe the messiah has yet to come. Muslims believe in no messiah and that allah has never begotten a son. Given that the messiah is a pivotal part of jewish and Christian faith it is hard to say that they are the same as islam. As we give spiritually competent care it is important to know some differences in faiths.

Actually you are incorrect. Jews do not believe that Jesus is the Messiah. Muslims,although they do not believe that Jesus is the begotten son of God, believe that Jesus is the Messiah and will return again to lead all believers. He will arrive right before judgement day. He is referred to in both the Quran and the oral traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (sav) as al- Mesih or the messiah, the Anointed One, and the Son of Mary.Jesus is considered a holy prophet in Islam who was born of the virgin Mary and became man. The major difference is that he is considered man not the begotten son of God. The word Allah is interchangeable with the word God. Al (the) Ilah (god). Islam, like Judaism places a much stronger emphasis on strict monotheism. "The" or "Al" is like the capital "G" in God as opposed to god. Islam is also one of the Abrahamic faiths that has many more similarities than differences to the other Abrahamics faiths, Christianity and Judaism.

I understand that some churches are teaching that Muslims do no not worship the same God as Christians and Jews. That is simply untrue.