It's not my job to pray with you.

Nurses Spirituality

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I am not religious. I do not pray. If praying makes you feel good then awesome. Do that. When patients are religious and need spirutual support, I am the first one to find their local pastor/rabbi/medicine man/etc. for them. This is how I can support my patient. I do not feel however, that I should be pressured to say prayers. yes, I will give my patient space and quiet time to pray if they want, but i don't feel it's my job to pray with patients. I feel this is over the line.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
wow!!! don't let you ever get sick or have cancer and shoot someone down who asks you to pray with them.. serious. I guess Gods graces have nothing to do with healing patients. Lots of anger in your post Namaste

Please use the quote function so we know to whom you are being disrespectful.

Wishing cancer upon someone is in poor taste. Hose of us who don't share your particular religious bent are equally deserving of respect.

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Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
wow!!! don't let you ever get sick or have cancer and shoot someone down who asks you to pray with them.. serious. I guess Gods graces have nothing to do with healing patients. Lots of anger in your post Namaste

Please explain your post.

Gods grace had NOTHING to do whatsoever with healing me. The doctors, nurses, RRT's etc all had a hand in it. I found that comment to be in poor taste. I also found our flippant attitude (which is how it is coming across to me) about serious/terminal illnesses to be in poor taste.

I also find your use of Namaste to be in poor taste.

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When I was a PICU nurse, I took care of an incredibly developmentally advanced 2.5 year old in renal failure on the transplant list. It was around 2 in the morning and she was awake and scared and lonely and I was keeping her company with the lights down.

She could only speak in 2 or 3 word phrases at a time which made everything she said seem more urgent. Out of nowhere she asked "will you pray with me?" At the time I wasn't very religious and definitely didn't pray with anyone, so I felt like I'd been hit with a subsonic bean bag.

I took her hand in mine and said some kind of prayer that I can't remember.

I'll never forget that. She went to sleep and I went out to the desk to tell my friend this little kid asked me to pray with her. Amazed, she asked "what did you do?"

I said "What could I do? I prayed with her".

I have no idea whatever happened to her but I will never forget that as long as I live.

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Specializes in retired LTC.

Had a very restless, pacing dementia pt. One night, out of desperation I started to hum/sing Amazing Grace. That woman STOPPED her pacing, laid down in her bed, and napped for about 45 minutes. All on her own effort.

Was it the calming power of prayer or something else? I don't know, but I used to put religious music channels on their radios/TVs after that episode.

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Had a very restless, pacing dementia pt. One night, out of desperation I started to hum/sing Amazing Grace. That woman STOPPED her pacing, laid down in her bed, and napped for about 45 minutes. All on her own effort.

Was it the calming power of prayer or something else? I don't know, but I used to put religious music channels on their radios/TVs after that episode.

I doubt that has anything to do with the "power of prayer." It's well-known that many dementia clients respond well to music. Doesn't have to be religious music, just music. Familiar music from individuals' past seems to work best.

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Specializes in retired LTC.

'Amazing Grace' resonates with many people. Maybe it was just the prayer part, or maybe the music part. I don't know. Those old time-y gospel songs just move people.

I never felt comfortable praying with someone. I'd stand by quietly, but "it wasn't my job to pray with you". An extra minute wouldn't delay me so much that I couldn't spend it with the pt.

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I'm sorry. I am all for assisting a patient with their spiritual needs within limits. I will get them a chaplain, I will be happy to accommodate any needs a patient has in order to practice their faith, short of getting involved with someone else's religion. I don't think the patient's needs eclipse ALL rights of any caregiver. If they were snake handlers and asked you to handle venomous snakes in their room as part of their faith or practiced a faith where animal sacrifice was part of their practice, would that be aloud in a clinical setting? I think we can all agree that it would not. The hospitals allow freedom of religion practice within a certain scope. Putting unnecessary burden on the caregiver when there are qualified people to handle this seems unreasonable. Asking someone to take part in religious practices that are not their own seems an egregious breach of personal freedom.

Furthermore, why should one have to sit their and pretend? We are taught to be honest and straightforward in all other aspects of practice. If someone is dying, we are supposed to give them the realistic state of things. We do not endorse fantasy or instill falsity to the situation. Why should prayer be any different? "I don't practice your faith, Miss. Let me assist you in finding someone who is more qualified to assist you with your spiritual needs," why is that such a horrible thing to say? Since so many hospitals are run by religious groups, I feel that this is the reason why the imposition of prayer is considered OK on its staff. It isn't in just about any other workplace but the hospital setting. Isn't sitting there in prayer with someone just like lying to them? In the persons head, they can't help but feel the absurdity of the situation and their own personal discomfort with it. It is forcing people to take part in beliefs that are not their own and it is intrusive and unnecessary.

People have also been here saying that you have to respect their beliefs. What you must do is respect that people are entitled to live their lives according to their beliefs whatever they are. That doesn't mean that a person has to validate their superstition. If someone doesn't want a blood transfusion because they are a Jehovah's witness; their life, their decision. A nurse doesn't have to find validity or reason in their belief system, only respect that it is how they choose to live. Everyone is different and that is great. I agree that everyone should be able to live their lives as they see fit so long they don't harm anyone else. However, when you force someone to be part of religious practice that isn't their own, it is distressing and therefore harmful and should not be something that is enforced.

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I totally agree with original poster... I once was told by a patient because I refused to engage in religious conversation, that I needed to find myself a good southern baptist church so God can save my soul. I am like no ma'am I will just keep worshiping the devil or whatever it is you think I am doing since I refused to speak about my religion with you.

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Specializes in Case manager, UR.

"I would not participate in applying snake oil and I dont participate in a patients delusional behavior.

Unfortunately they have plenty of company in their delusion. Of course I dont confront them on this issue, I just ignore it. There has been a few times where I had to state that there was no god to get out of a situation. "

We occasionally had native American patients who had particular belief systems.. in one instance, a feather that was supposed to be on the bed at all times as they believed the patient's soul was in the feather. So we respected that. We didn't have to believe in it to take care it didn't fall to the floor.

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If it is a part of patient satisfaction scores you may be required to do it, just kidding.

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Hmmm.... I have not read the entire thread. But I think you are doing your job if u call for a chaplain to assist the family in prayer.

As for me, myself, I love it when a pt asks me to pray with them/for them. I'm a Christian and love these opportunities.

Of course, your job is to win souls for Yahweh. When I am in your hospital, I will ask you to meditate with me. Better yet, I will ask you to reflect on a stoic wisdom with me. Let's see how much "excitement" you can get.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.
I am not religious. I do not pray. If praying makes you feel good then awesome. Do that. When patients are religious and need spirutual support, I am the first one to find their local pastor/rabbi/medicine man/etc. for them. This is how I can support my patient. I do not feel however, that I should be pressured to say prayers. yes, I will give my patient space and quiet time to pray if they want, but i don't feel it's my job to pray with patients. I feel this is over the line.

To say it is "over the line" is a bit strong here. Nursing meets the patient holistically. Caring for the spirit in addition to the physical, mental and emotional needs is all part of the puzzle.

The fact that you offer to contact those who may be of assistance is dutiful. But there are patients who have a deep need to pray and have others pray with them. For the nurses who can do that, it is not "over the line" for a patient to ask-ever.

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