You know you've been in Nursing TOO long when...

World International

Published

Thought I would share this will you all, found on a web site some years age and it still makes me smile, I used to put this in the New staff induction Pack it set the tone perfectly

ØDiscussion of dismemberment over a full meal seems perfectly normal.

ØYour idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change.

ØYou believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

ØYou believe that people should need a permit to reproduce.

ØYou believe that chocolate is a food group.

ØYou believe that the unspeakable will occur if someone says, "Boy, sure is quiet around here".

ØYou compliment strangers on the size of their veins.

ØYou sometimes refer to death as the "Etemal Care Unit."

ØYou occasionally have to leave a patients room before you start laughing uncontrollably.

ØYou believe that "too stupid too live" is a real diagnosis.

ØYou have asked patients, "What changed after 5 days (interchangeable with months/years) to make you come to the emergency department at 2 am?"

ØYou believe the waiting room should be stocked with a Valium salt-lick.

ØWhen you mention vegetables, you are not referring to a food group.

ØYou are NOT surprised when a patient says, "I have no idea how it got stuck in there."

ØYou have weekends off marked and planned for at least a whole year.

ØYou sometimes enjoy psych patients for their "entertainment value."

ØYou think patient dumping should be a more literal term.

ØYou hate airbags because the cause, "unnecessary repeat business."

ØYou can accurately guess blood alcohol to within 0.5 from the patients breath alone.

ØYou create a points scale for suicides based on "originality and creative performance."

ØYou think education means a pamphlet explaining, "What works, a guide for suicidal patients."

ØYou refer to an unattended birth as a "bungie jumper."

ØYou are filled with jealous rage when you find a patient, "resting comfortably."

ØYou think the term, "Not for resus" is too cool for words.

ØYou day dream of retiring to some place where there's no old people.

ØYou believe that any evidence of faeces or urine about a patient - should be sufficient evidence for a DNR order.

ØYou believe that 999 should be changed to a minimum length of 30 digits to reduce the frequency of moron access.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

You know you've been a nurse too long when:

Cleaning up after a patient who's just had a massive code brown reminds you that you need to pick up some brownie mix at the store on the way home.

You actually ENJOY watching your family members turn green as you describe something particularly gruesome that happened at work today.

Your sense of humor combines the sophistication of grade-school toilet comedy with the cynicism of political punditry......and you're proud of it!

You take pride in the fact that you know over 1,000 ways to describe sh**. :chuckle

Up Vote Up Vote ×

:rotfl: :rotfl: thanx for that, good laugh

Up Vote Up Vote ×
electronic BP machine :rotfl: wouldnt have a clue how to use one.. give me a mercury sphig any day!!! and syringe drivers....... even less of a clue!! guess I've been a nurse too long!! :rotfl:

Karen

naughty naughty thought mercury had been banned posioning and all that i replaced all mine at amazing cost :chuckle mind you, you could always break one over the head of a patient you don't like (accidently of course)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.
Bless you Whisper, when I trained nearly 14 years ago we did not have the benefit or non of dinamaps and had to rely on manual sphygs, doing obs on a whole ward of 24+ patients on the late shift. It really is the best way of getting an accurate reading of a patient and staff have become too reliant on using machinery.

you only trained 14yrs ago.............. :chuckle definately been a nurse too long. I remember do the 'obs' and back rounds! we did used to do 'radar obs'...........stand at the bottom of the bed and make it up!! usually when the patient was going home and still on qds obs!! :rotfl:

Karen

Up Vote Up Vote ×
You know you've been a nurse too long when:

Cleaning up after a patient who's just had a massive code brown reminds you that you need to pick up some brownie mix at the store on the way home.

You actually ENJOY watching your family members turn green as you describe something particularly gruesome that happened at work today.

Your sense of humor combines the sophistication of grade-school toilet comedy with the cynicism of political punditry......and you're proud of it!

You take pride in the fact that you know over 1,000 ways to describe sh**. :chuckle

CODE BROWN LOL never heard that one before brill
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency room, med/surg, UR/CSR.

the weight of a patient was directly proportional to the flights of stairs one had to walk up to carry them down; and the elevator was never working!

Pam :chuckle

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.

Very very funny....:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
you know you've been nursing too long.......

*when you think everyone in the country should have to work weekends and nights because you have to, and they should have to see what it's like. it's the only fair way.

amen!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiology (ITU), Acute Renal/Dialysis.
you only trained 14yrs ago.............. :chuckle definately been a nurse too long. I remember do the 'obs' and back rounds! we did used to do 'radar obs'...........stand at the bottom of the bed and make it up!! usually when the patient was going home and still on qds obs!! :rotfl:

Karen

HONESTY! a scarce thing these days lol thank you :nurse:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S/Tele, Home Health, Gen ICU.

When the "new" title for a nurse was RGN. (Used to be SRN).

When we mixed all our IV meds including chemo (don't worry we wore gloves and a plastic apron).

When you taught to stand up for the Doctors and Sister had tea with the consultants in the breakroom after grand rounds and it was an honor to pour the tea and offer the biscuits.

You can remeber sluice rooms with metal bedpans and urinals and the washers for them and washing them in the winter for the patients so they did'nt freeze body parts to them because they were too cold!!!

You have inserted a Sangstaken Blakemore tube.

Patients used stay for weeks, wear their own Pjs and nighties (you were also really good at threading IVs through arms) and eat meals in the day room, with a visibilty of 1 foot due to the smoke.

You measured IV rates drop per minute, and with a tape on the side of the bag. Orders read 3 liters over 24 hours so if one bag went in too quickly you just slowed the next one down.

The junior houseofficer started all the IVs

Oh, the good old days,

Celia

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm not a nurse, however I have the utmost respect for nurses, and used to do volunteer work in our hospitals ED. Anyway I was just recently in the hospital for a diagnostic procedure, and requested my nurse to get me some hot water for tea. I instructed her to microwave the water (not knowing the had a coffee machine with a hot water spigot.) when she came to my room bearing the cup of hot water, she informed me that she was standing at the microwave, waiting for it to heat the water when it "ocured to her that the coffee machine had this feature.) This caused her to ask herself "why she was standing there waiting for the water to heat." My reply to her was "You know you've been a nurse to long when you receive orders fro a patient, and blindly obey them." I hope you get a chuckle out of this. Also I did think of a couple I didn't see. You know you've been a nurse to long when: It's your day off, and when your husband gets home, from work, you feel obliged to give report, because your going off duty.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Totally agree. If you ever get a wonky BP reading you have to attempt a manual :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment