Insensitive managers...

[SaraO'Hara]

Today I was written up for my lack of commitment to "customer service." Apparently I am stand-off-ish and do not smile enough.

I have also been fighting depression (worse lately than ever) for years - and my DON, who wrote me up, is aware of this.

I need a hug

[oramar]

Customer Service outranks employee considerations.

So glad I am not practicing anymore. I am sure when I struggled with a patient who was declining I would walk down the hall with no smile on my face sometimes. I am also sure if I had a big smile on my face when I walked into room of patient doing poorly the family would report me for that.

[catshowlady]

Sorry this happened to you. It's happened to me too. I am going through a personal crisis, and missed almost a week of work. I came back and got a verbal warning for attendance. Who cares that I am going through my own personal hell?

You are not alone. Hugs and purrs. {{{Sara}}}

:paw:

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I can't believe you were written up for not smiling? That is supposed to make you smile?

[SaraO'Hara]

Take care of youself and feel better.

So there were no complaints about your actual patient care and you were written up for not smiling enough? That is infuriating.

Pretty much. Apparently I have great assessment skills, chart well, am efficient... but come across as glum and brusque. I do have a dry sense of humor... but this is a dry world.

The admissions rep (there for a witness?) even brought up my fashion sense... my lovely gothic fashion sense... please note that I do not dress Goth-ly while on duty, nor do I wear skull accessories to meetings!

[Dorito, ASN, RN]

Gone are the days when patient choice wasn't such a big deal. Now patient's have a lot of different choices and in this economy we want them to choose us! We all have tough times when we don't feel like smiling when we might be hurting on the inside but sometimes smiling makes me feel better inside too. One of my motto's is "Fake it till you make it". In the meantime....keep smiling and good luck!

[backwoods_barbie]

:redbeatheHugs to you!!!!! Don't let them get to you. I would move on, and look for something new.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Hugs. I'm sorry.

[maxthecat]

First of all, I am so sorry you were treated in this manner. Nothing like getting kicked in the teeth when you're down. Your manager handled this situation in an incredibly stupid, insensitive, and ineffective manner, and has shown she has no clue what being clinically depressed entails.

Now...I'm going to write something I wouldn't dare to unless I had been in a similar situation in the past, which I was. While a write up wasn't the way to handle this, there must be something that concerns her about how you are presenting yourself at work. She may have gotten comments--not necessarily complaints, just comments--from patients or families or co-workers about your glum manner. This means that the symptoms of your depression are noticeable to the public. And in nursing that is not acceptable. Sure, everybody has down days, but your post hints at something more. The problem is, when symptoms are noticeable, there is the chance that the patient and family may start to be concerned about you as their caregiver rather than focusing their energies on getting well. Doesn't matter that you are able to come in and pass meds and titrate drips--that's not enough. The job also entails public presentation, and if you can't manage that then you need to think about taking time off, talking to EAP or your own counselor, adjusting meds--whatever it takes to get you well. It's not your fault, but don't try to force yourself to slog through when you really need time off to get these symptoms under better control. If you were diabetic and were having to check your sugars every hour, then you would need to be off work getting your illness under better regulation, not trying to push through the day as a staff nurse.

I may be totally off track and you may be just "ordinary depressed." The comments about public presentation still stand. I have a dry sense of humor myself and I have to watch it at work, or I'll be hearing comments about my "negativity."

Is your workplace one with cliques? Where everybody is expected to fit the clique's personality? Otherwise, why are they concerned about your Goth lifestyle/fashion sense when you're NOT AT WORK? Unless they're also incredibly uninformed about Goth....My co-workers here in Podunk, Midwest are convinced it's the work of the devil!

Again, I really am sorry that you're having to deal with this. Hoping you start to feel better soon.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

maxthecat is right. But being written up for not smiling enough is foolish, even humorous if you're not the target.

Wasn't there a big stink in the seventies, when it was common for me to say "smile!" to passing females at a company, to the point of being irritating. The women sued and won for sexual harassment. It was so long ago, but someone with more time in might remember. Anyway, I'll bet men don't get written up for not smiling.

Tell her you're having a run of bad breath from the garlic you eat to keep the vampires away.

How does one dress goth-like in scrubs? I need to know.

[nursel56]

maxthecat is right. But being written up for not smiling enough is foolish, even humorous if you're not the target.

Wasn't there a big stink in the seventies, when it was common for me to say "smile!" to passing females at a company, to the point of being irritating. The women sued and won for sexual harassment. It was so long ago, but someone with more time in might remember. Anyway, I'll bet men don't get written up for not smiling.

Tell her you're having a run of bad breath from the garlic you eat to keep the vampires away.

How does one dress goth-like in scrubs? I need to know.

I do remember a case more recently involving a grocery store chain that required women stocking shelves in the aisles to "smile, make eye-contact, and ask something like 'can I help you with anything?'" whether the customer asked for help or not. Apparently a goodly number of men reacted as if she was offering more than help finding the peanut butter! :uhoh21: They thought the young lady was hitting on them! The problem was management stubbornly refused to rescind the policy- figuring they knew better than the many women who complained. Typical. So they had to go public with it. Not sure if it reached lawsuit stage or not.

A third party trying to alter interaction between two people can result in some bizarre stuff. Jeez, when I grew up we expected some nurse's to be gruff! It was part of their charm!

[Scrubby]

Wow that is a pretty cruel thing for a manager to do. I have suffered depression in the past and to be told off for not smiling is just unbelievable.

Maybe you should confront your manager and let them know that reprimanding someone with depression for something as petty as not smiling enough is not only inappropriate but may exacerbate your depression.

The other day I heard the PM talking about health care and can't quite remember the wording but it was along the lines of promoting customer service. I immediately thought about what you guys in the US are going through and thought 'oh no'.

[Perpetual Student]

Look at the bright side, a few months down the road you can put super glue in her car locks.

All kidding aside, bummer. Realize that some management types are idiots, just like other groups of people. My interpretation is that they might be posturing to fire you and that's the best excuse they can come up with. Or perhaps the DON just has the personality of a badger.

Update your resume and start looking for another job where they'll appreciate you.