Incinsiderate Families

[logical0270]

I was working yesterday evening on 2nd shift when the family of one of my residents came and announced that her husband died. The poor lady starts to scream and cry. I came out of the room where I was working; the family cimes to me and says:"Mama's gonna need something for her nerves; her husband just died."

I know the lady has a right to know, but why couldn't the family had told me first, do I could've given her some medicine before it got to the dcreaming/wanting to go home stage (the family did not want her coming back to the home, oh no, nurse, you must tell her she can't come home). It could have been a lot easier for that lady of I had the opportunity to dose her before you gave her that news and then say you don't want her at home. Needress to say, the family left after that; they had wrecked their damage; other matters to take care of now (I guess more little old ladies to upset or a child or two to run over).

I understand they were upset, too, but the lady has anxiety issues and she's really quite fragile.

I was fuming. I didn't show it or express it, but I was thinking, "You jerks!"

[iluvivt, BSN, RN]

I can understand why you were upset because their actions created a problem that you then had to deal with.Please consider that they were not thinking of you,rather their own grief and what they had to deal with at the time. They just expected that you and the institution would be there when needed. Just consider it part of the job so you do not get yourself so stressed about it because these things happen and are out of your control!

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

How inconsiderate of the family... to not consider the nurse..while they are in shock over the loss of a loved one:rolleyes:.

Fascinating how you made the death of a resident's spouse.. all about you.

[macawake, MSN]

I was working yesterday evening on 2nd shift when the family of one of my residents came and announced that her husband died. The poor lady starts to scream and cry.

I know the lady has a right to know, but why couldn't the family had told me first, do I could've given her some medicine before it got to the dcreaming/wanting to go home stage

It could have been a lot easier for that lady of I had the opportunity to dose her before you gave her that news and then say you don't want her at home.

Finding out about the death of a loved one is extremely painful. It is hard news to receive even in the cases where the news isn't unexpected, due to advanced age or disease. Shock and showing strong emotions is a natural reaction. It's the start of the grief process. I don't agree with the idea of medicating prophylactically before delivering bad news in order to artificially inhibit the natural response.

Yes, it would have been helpful if you as the nurse responsible for the woman's care had been informed so that you were prepared to offer support, but you can't expect people to always react rationally when they've just received bad news themselves. It probably didn't even cross their minds.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

Finding out about the death of a loved one is extremely painful. It is hard news to receive even in the cases where the news isn't unexpected, due to advanced age or disease. Shock and showing strong emotions is a natural reaction. It's the start of the grief process. I don't agree with the idea of medicating prophylactically before delivering bad news in order to artificially inhibit the natural response.

I could not agree more with you. Let the poor woman experience authentic emotions..

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

I'm just in shock you made this all about you. Wow. This is a new one.

ETA: Even if you *did* medicate the lol, what good would it have done? It wouldn't have been activated by the time her family gave her the news. This is just a selfish move by you because you didn't want to take care of the lol after she got the bad news.

[LeChien, BSN, RN]

If I was in your resident's position, I wouldn't want my family telling the nurse about my spouse's death before me.

Grieving process can't be cured with one measly ativan.

[Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN]

It's so difficult for me to believe that posts like this are serious ...especially when it's someone absolutely new to posting on the site.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

Its not about you.

People deal with grief how they deal with grief. Its very unique to the individual and varies from person to person and you as an RN have no business telling them how they should grieve

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

You don't think most people would cry when hearing the news that their spouse just died? And why do you have a right to know before the resident? It's her husband.

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

It's so difficult for me to believe that posts like this are serious ...especially when it's someone absolutely new to posting on the site.

Agreed.

[SmilingBluEyes]

As said before me, it's not about you; the one being "inconsiderate" is you. Examine your own thoughts and behavior and put yourself in that LOL or family's shoes. Your post is cold-hearted at best. They are not "jerks" as you so callously put it; they are a family grieving. Have a heart, for Heaven's sake.

You need to take another look at your post and, hopefully, change your perspective some.