Inappropriate Conversations in the Workplace

[Shookclays]

While working in the emergency room, I have endured many conversations that range from issues in today's news to political standpoints. I keep my mouth shut for the most part and take care of the assignment at hand, the patient.

Today, however, my feathers were ruffled and I had to take a bathroom break to prevent a heated outburst. The conversation at hand was dealing with racism and police shootings that end with there not being any justice for the victim. The nurses and nurse practitioner was literally making fun of a particular situation that vexed me to no end. Mind you, this is the emergency room with multiple patients.

I've never engaged or actively participated in these conversations. My question is, do I go to the director about this or turn the other cheek?

ETA: Multiple patients were complaining about not having any updates about placement etc... while this could have been done while the "conversation" was ongoing.

[sevensonnets]

You had to take a bathroom break to prevent a heated outburst of your own. Might not a heated outburst have been unprofessional as well?

[Shookclays, ASN, BSN, CNA, RN]

You had to take a bathroom break to prevent a heated outburst of your own. Might not a heated outburst have been unprofessional as well?

Which is why I reflected before I executed such an unprofessional behavior. That's what you're supposed to do.

[AlabamaBelle]

Yeah, Shookclays, such situations are frustrating. But if you stifle one jerk, there'll always be another one to take their place.

At times like this, I remember what Edgar cayce said: "You can't get someone into more trouble than they can get themselves into".

I'm just wondering how many people had to look up Edgar Cayce. We're giving away ages!

Somethings you just can't engage me in during work hours. I leave religion and politics at the front door and any "hot button" topics of the moment. I'm good at playing dumb, and the moment passes. I will stubbornly persist in silence. The hair may be blond (or least the part that isn't gray), but it's really dark, and only my colorist and I know really what color it is.

My daddy always said to "sit back and enjoy the show, 'cause if you give some folks enough rope, they WILL hang themselves."

[OldDude]

I'm just wondering how many people had to look up Edgar Cayce. We're giving away ages!

Somethings you just can't engage me in during work hours. I leave religion and politics at the front door and any "hot button" topics of the moment. I'm good at playing dumb, and the moment passes. I will stubbornly persist in silence. The hair may be blond (or least the part that isn't gray), but it's really dark, and only my colorist and I know really what color it is.

My daddy always said to "sit back and enjoy the show, 'cause if you give some folks enough rope, they WILL hang themselves."

Your daddy is a smart man. Sounds like you took his advice!

[Shookclays, ASN, BSN, CNA, RN]

I'm just wondering how many people had to look up Edgar Cayce. We're giving away ages!

Somethings you just can't engage me in during work hours. I leave religion and politics at the front door and any "hot button" topics of the moment. I'm good at playing dumb, and the moment passes. I will stubbornly persist in silence. The hair may be blond (or least the part that isn't gray), but it's really dark, and only my colorist and I know really what color it is.

My daddy always said to "sit back and enjoy the show, 'cause if you give some folks enough rope, they WILL hang themselves."

Your father must've been from the South? Sounds like my grandma. The advice is invaluable. I will take it. Thank you.

[Crush]

I tune out those type conversations at work, and sometimes at home too. As you mentioned, that it potentially impacted patient care or where the conversation occurred is more of an issue. Not reportable but annoying.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah I'm an ER Nurse also and I've had a few observations over the years from working in mine. Boundaries between colleagues in my ER is virtually nonexistent. I know way, way more about other nurses I work with than I want to know including politics and religion. ER nurses can get bitter and burned out and weather they are ignoring patients complaining about their significant other, getting mandated, other nurses or politics it makes no difference to the patient being ignored. Unfortunately where I work it matters very little of what you think of nurses ignoring patients, acting inappropriately, violating all sorts of personal boundaries or just being plain lazy, incompetent slobs because they are part & parcel of a culture that exists in my ER. You can complain to management if you want but they are the minders of the status quo and often any attack on existing culture practices is viewed as a personal attack on them. So what do I do? I go to work. I do the best I can by the patients in my care. I get paid well. I go home. Period.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

You cannot control other people's conversation. If you go to management , YOU will become the problem. There is no cheek to turn, it was not directed at you.

[Have Nurse, ADN, RN]

I consider it an advantage to know how my coworkers think without them knowing much about me. No, I wouldn't put on my "offended" hat and go crying to the boss. They're going to think what they think whether they say it in front of you, or not. I get the sense that you're not upset about patients not being updated quickly enough. This is personal and you should probably let it go instead of turning it into a "work" issue.

I respectfully disagree with this. If this conversation is interfering with patient care, especially in an E.R., you absolutely need to bring it to the attention of the Director.

It's already a "work issue".

While it may be to advantage to know how your co-workers feel about certain issues and where you may stand, there's a time and a place for that. The E.R. isn't one of them.

[Have Nurse, ADN, RN]

You cannot control other people's conversation. If you go to management , YOU will become the problem. There is no cheek to turn, it was not directed at you.[/quote

Not if it's handled diplomatically and appropriately.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

I heard and was a target of inappropriate conversations in every single workplace I 'd been so far (being an immigrant and a Jew makes me easy target, I think). I did everything in spectrum from completely ignoring the subject, killing' em with kindness and reporting immediately to Powers.

Personally, while I do understand that I cannot change people's attitudes and they for all probability will do whatever they please once out of my sight I refuse to turn my head other way. Because "first they came..."

First They Came - Pastor Martin Niemoller | Holocaust Memorial Day Trust

The most effective way I found is polite but personal and direct confrontation. "Hi, you know, I do not think it is OK to speak like that about.... Well, I do care. Yes, because I do. Please stop".

Repeat as needed. Be nice but insisting.

Reporting directly to next level works rarely to never because the said upper levels undoubtedly know about "the views" of their employees and do nothing. Making patients/family members reporting it can be slightly more effective. But nothing beats phone in pocket accidently running on "dictophone" app and your friendly family lawyer offering consult for EEOC case application. Although I wouldn't advice using it except for repeated and extreme cases.

And, yes, licensed health care workers from CENA up can be reported to Boards for repeated hate speech on workplace.

[chacha82, ADN, BSN]

Since you asked, just tune it out. I never get involved in stuff like this. I barely have enough time to complete the tasks at work I'm supposed to do, let alone get involved in "side conversations." I don't mean to be ugly, but why do you care what these people think? Yes, it may strike a nerve, but many things strike a nerve in the workplace and I have to pay attention to the ones that deal with patient safety.

I worked with a nurse who would rant and rave about political topics. She was always going off about something to someone, ignoring all social indicators people gave her that they really didn't want to get into discussions like that. Eventually she was let go.

Added: I worked with a floor nurse who used one of the desk phones to make personal phone calls throughout the entire shift. Was she giving her patients the attention they deserved? Probably not. If your frustration is that the conversation is keeping the nurses occupied and not with the patients, really all you can do is walk over to them and say, "Stop having a side conversation. Go see your patients." But I don't recommend it.