I currently have a family member who is impossible to please. No matter what I or the other nurses do, we are always questioned. Not only are we questioned, she drills nurses about what other nurses have done and why. When most nurses answers match the other shifts answers, she seems miffed that we all are on the same page with his care. All of the teaching that is done to her falls on deaf ears. Her "assessment" differs from yours at every turn, and you are wrong. You're interventions are ineffective. You're not doing enough. Never mind that the Ativan she requested we give was dosed less than 10 minutes ago. It's not working! No kidding...She doesn't want him sedated, but the non-narcotic pain reliever he was given isn't working according to her, what about morphine sulfate? This as he looks at me and states he's not having pain. The nasal stuffiness with cough (LCTA) is pneumonia or bronchitis please and thank you. NOT the URI he was diagnosed with. She maintains contact with "a friend that works at another nursing home" who tells her we are not providing adequate care in so many words. She also constantly texts his hospice nurse with her "assessment", which interestingly enough, doesn't match mine. She yells for us from the hall for assistance because it takes us too long to answer the light. I know. Less than 5 minutes is an eternity, especially when it's to tell us he's cold. She monopolizes not only the nurse's time, but the CNA's as well. Statements always made of "I know I'm a pain...I know you're busy but..." This resident is fairly easy to care for when she isn't there. When she arrives, suddenly he's "dying". What do you do in these situations? I have depleted my aresenal of tactics that work on most needy residents/family members. My first instinct is to hide under the desk and pray she goes away, but I'm fairly certain she would camp out and wait for me. She is the same with the other nurse's as well. Please advise.
Really? I hope your show never gets nominated for the BON.
I hope what I am hearing is not what you are meaning in your written words.
I wish all my fellow nurses had the cohones to demand the respect they deserve. It has nothing to do with the BON. We are not waitresses or slaves. We are educated professionals dedicated to the patients in our care. If certain family members get their panties in a twist over a request for mutual respect, so be it.
There is a level of respect that I hope for from colleagues and family members as a fellow human being. My mini-rant above came after a long day and was not entirely worded right but the sentiment still rings true. I look up to nurses who can be upfront about what is acceptable and say the things that maybe I wish I could say.
I don't personally demand a certain behavior from anyone. I do, however, let it be known by my demeanor and tone that I am a professional and desire to be treated like one. There is also a diplomatic way to set boundaries without being rude.
That said, there will always be family members whose behavior will not change no matter what we do. That is more what the OP was venting about.
I am responsible for critically ill people whose safety and wellbeing take priority over wheres my ****** dilaudid or some visitor using the call light to say Ill take a coke and a
warm blanket. I do expect everyone to be courteous. That is the culture where I work. I don't have to demand anything.
UOTE=Ruas61;7946116]Really? I hope your show never gets nominated for the BON.
I hope what I am hearing is not what you are meaning in your written words.
I had a similar situation. The daughter (who called herself an icu nurse) of a lovely elderly woman always demanded that her mother
be sedated. I was one of the few
nurses on the list who were alllowed to be her nurse. One evening the pt denied post op pain and declined the offer of pain or sleep meds. The
daughter came tearing up the hall demanding meds for her mother's pain. I said no I was just in there and she does not
want them. The dgt stood at the nurses station
screaming like a fishwife get her
morphine over and over for about two minutes. She stopped when I when I said I would call the police.
The patient did not want to be doped up did not want a peg and did not want to be a full code.
The pt and I had a long private conversation which I documented verbatim. I sent a copy to risk management and the ethics committee. The GI docs refused to place a peg. She passed a week later.
My point in telling this story is that your duty is to the person in that bed.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I see where the visitor calls her spouse's hospice nurse frequently Dare I say the end is in sight? Or is this one of those cases who will linger and be recertified over and over again?
I see where the visitor calls her spouse's hospice nurse frequently Dare I say the end is in sight? Or is this one of those cases who will linger and be recertified over and over again?
He actually ended up passing, but at the time of the original post he was quite alert, oriented, and stable. In fact, he passed from an acute illness unrelated to his hospice dx.
I am a new DON, previous surveyor and investigator. I'm very upfront and blunt. I also had one of "those" family members which every other sentence was "I'll move him (her husband who was very pleasantly confused Alzheimer's) to another facility. I would ask her if she wanted me to notify his physician to get a transfer ready and when would she like to pick him up? (He was total care). I felt that it was my responsibility to back my staff. She would yell and scream at them and I would go to his room and ask "What's the problem here?" I can hear you in my office and you cannot under any circumstance other that he is actively dying raise your voice to my staff. Of course, she would get mad.
She also got mad when I self - reported when she slapped her husband, yes, an investigator came out and unsubstantiated, but from that point on, she made an effort to be a little more pleasant.
When I shipped him out on day to the ER, she made sure that he was transferred to another facility at my urging that the other facility was closer to her home and she wouldn't have to drive so far and since this was the facility he was at originally, wouldn't she be happier there?
I tried to kill her with kindness, when that didn't work I set hard boundries and make sure they were followed. It worked for us
Arghhh...the adult child of one of my residents is a medical professional.....and expects that we drop EVERYTHNG when the family strolls in, to get the parent out of bed, or will interupt you when you are speaking with a another residents family member.
Last night I put my index finger up and said "I will be with you when I am finished here" very sweetly and with a smile;)....was he ever irritated!!!!!!!!! I don't really care.
kiszi, RN
1 Article; 604 Posts
I wish all my fellow nurses had the cohones to demand the respect they deserve. It has nothing to do with the BON. We are not waitresses or slaves. We are educated professionals dedicated to the patients in our care. If certain family members get their panties in a twist over a request for mutual respect, so be it.