I'm sick of taking care of people who don't care

Published

I'm really feeling burnt out on taking care of people who are self destructive and have no interest in doing anything to make their lives and health better. I'm sick of a system that is like a big, enabling wet nurse to people who are going to go right back out and continue with all the bad habits again, only be back in the hospital to suck on more of the healthcare titty that puts them back together again so they can go out and continue to screw up their health some more. I'm sick of the total lack of responsibility I see every day I work.

I was talking to my stepbrother who is a chiropractor. His clients are a different group. They are interested in health maintenance and are motivated to improve their health through their own efforts. He's really doing something for people. I'm not. Sure, I have a good bedside manner and manage to connect with my patients and gain their trust. But basically I hate the American healthcare system totally and completely. At this point I'm a nurse only for the money.

Also kelliegrl I know you may believe that you have tried so hard to educate Mr.300lb diabetic but I would bet that you are probably wrong. I have a RN friend who got type II diabetes and most of the stuff she truly understands about the illness she had to do indepth research to find out, not something she learned from the nurses at the hospital or her doctor. Which just says to me that we as nurses are not given the indepth education we need to know to help our patients understand their illness and in all probability if your floor is as busy as mine you probably only have enough time to say approx 5 sentences to your patient all shift. Both of those instances do not lead to patient comprehension. Second diabetics have a very high instance of depression. I don't know if you have ever had major depression but if not then you can not really appriciate their lack of hope and motivation. Why don't you try to get them a psych consult and on some meds before you teach them something? It may help a great deal.

I appreciate where you are coming from, but I beg to differ. We actually have several ways that we educate a pt on diabetes. Not only do I do it (and yes thanks, I do take the time to do it, it's part of the job), but when i'm done the dietician comes in and does her whole deal. And then after that, when they are discharged, I refer them to the Diabetes education classes, which are right at the same hospital they were just discharged from (so they know how to get here) AND are held in english AND spanish. I also send them home with very a very straightforward booklet with all the same info they have received while hospitalized. ALL 3 OR 4 TIMES he was here. So, frankly, this person has had ample and multiple opportunities to learn about his illness and the appropriate ways to care for himself. And granted, depression can be awful, but what I would like to know from you is this..respectfully, where is it that personal responsibility comes into your equation? HE has mistreated his body. HE is being offered the knowledge and tools to try and manage it, yet refuses to partake of them. THAT is not my problem, nor is it something I can fix. HE needs to desire to help himself. No one can give that to him. Bottom line.

Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

mbarn08 I think just like you on this subject and i could not have said it betterr

Its sad, but without these people a lot of nurses wouldn't have jobs. The best nurses can do is try keep people alive- to recover and go back out, and either the patient decides to change their lives OR stay on the same destructive path that got them in the hospital in the first place. As one poster said, I think it's important not to judge because you don't know what circumstances has led someone to live the life they lead. Granted, they're not making the necessary changes for their health- but that's not for you to decide really. All you can do is your best to get them out of the hospital and back on their own. I'm not a nurse yet- but I don't think you have to be to deal with this kind of thing. Family/friends who do the same crappy things and get the same crappy results and are then confused when things don't work out? I have plenty of those. All you can do is give your best advice, be less judgmental and try not to take it personally as if they're just not listening to you or their doctors.

Just what I think. :)

Most of the patients I treat are completely self-inflicted, slow suicides...I try to remember that there are usually psych/emotional disorders at play with many of these patients. People aren't 450 pounds because they want to be...they feel hopeless and probably use food as emotional comfort.

Our health care system may be screwed up, but it doesn't hold a candle to our legal system.

Most of the patients I treat are completely self-inflicted, slow suicides...I try to remember that there are usually psych/emotional disorders at play with many of these patients. People aren't 450 pounds because they want to be...they feel hopeless and probably use food as emotional comfort.

If people are crazy enough to run their lives based on feelings, that is the way to 450 lbs.

I mean, why not use the rest of the brain? It's quite capable of making good, or at least better decisions given half a chance. :twocents:

Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

An important part of fulfilling the role of nurse is being nonjudgmental. Yes, we educate our patients. The reality is, you can lead a horse to water ,but can't make them drink based on many many factors. It may be simply noncompliance, there may be others factors.

How would you feel if you were being judged based on others preconceived notions that you were given the educational now why are you doing what you learned. Remember when you were a new grad, heck you had the education, how well did you function in reality.

My point is this. We do not walk in our patient's shoes. Diabetes is very serious, being over weight is also very serious. Have you stopped to think of how expensive it is to live a healthy lifestyle and to eat the proper nutritious foods? Not to mention paying for the glucose strips. Why do you think so many diabetic patients do not test their sugars 4 times a day. If you take the time to really know your patient rather than sit in judgment you might very well find out they cannot afford to test their sugars more often. They cannot afford a well balanced meals. Yes, easy to judge, easier to get mad when people are sitting in judgment of you.

Specializes in Utilization Management.
An important part of fulfilling the role of nurse is being nonjudgmental. Yes, we educate our patients. The reality is, you can lead a horse to water ,but can't make them drink based on many many factors. It may be simply noncompliance, there may be others factors.

How would you feel if you were being judged based on others preconceived notions that you were given the educational now why are you doing what you learned. Remember when you were a new grad, heck you had the education, how well did you function in reality.

My point is this. We do not walk in our patient's shoes. Diabetes is very serious, being over weight is also very serious. Have you stopped to think of how expensive it is to live a healthy lifestyle and to eat the proper nutritious foods? Not to mention paying for the glucose strips. Why do you think so many diabetic patients do not test their sugars 4 times a day. If you take the time to really know your patient rather than sit in judgment you might very well find out they cannot afford to test their sugars more often. They cannot afford a well balanced meals. Yes, easy to judge, easier to get mad when people are sitting in judgment of you.

:yeah::yeah:

But, my point is, many people DO NOT have good control of their emotions for various reasons - many of the people I care for are much less than intellectually average. Many are very impoverished, whether it be from unfortunate circumstances or a multi-generational culture of not working and living on welfare; regardless, many do not have adequate access to healthcare or good food or counselors.

Improved healthcare follows the laws of unintended consequences.

We actually can save people who are self destructive again and again.

Long ago, many of those people just died young.

What about those of us that don't care about ourselves DESPITE following the crazy strict regimens of medicine and therapy. Those of us that compulsively act in self-destructive manners.

Not every one can just go join a chiropractor, join a gym and be the happy go lucky, health nut. For some people, just eating enough to stay alive is a struggle. Much less eating a wholly healthy diet. ;)

Just going to work and/or school can take exactly 100% of your effort leaving no room or will or energy left to take care of yourself.

Those people are out there and you most likely know some of them. They can barely do the minimum to live.

Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

That's BS. I go to the super market and see the lower income people buy beer, pop, chips, and other expensive items. That's a tired old argument.

As far as the predictable accusation of being judgmental; that, in itself, is judgmental.

What I see is a healthcare system that rewards irresponsible people. They do what they want and we all foot the bill. Look at octomom. There's no repercussions for her, nor for that stupid IVF doctor.

I see nothing wrong with calling it as it is. We need more tough love in this country with everyone. Our healthcare system needs to start emphasizing the responsibility aspect of the rights/responsibility code.

+ Join the Discussion