I'm sick of taking care of people who don't care

[FireStarterRN]

I'm really feeling burnt out on taking care of people who are self destructive and have no interest in doing anything to make their lives and health better. I'm sick of a system that is like a big, enabling wet nurse to people who are going to go right back out and continue with all the bad habits again, only be back in the hospital to suck on more of the healthcare titty that puts them back together again so they can go out and continue to screw up their health some more. I'm sick of the total lack of responsibility I see every day I work.

I was talking to my stepbrother who is a chiropractor. His clients are a different group. They are interested in health maintenance and are motivated to improve their health through their own efforts. He's really doing something for people. I'm not. Sure, I have a good bedside manner and manage to connect with my patients and gain their trust. But basically I hate the American healthcare system totally and completely. At this point I'm a nurse only for the money.

[3boysmom3]

I learnt a valuable lesson recently. I was told very harshly by someone I care about that amoung other things that I can be really really judgemental and disrespectful and nonappreciative. it was said really harshly and I because it was someone I cared about it really hit me and then I realized what he meant like a thunderbolt. then all the other time other people had said the same thing nicely or otherwise came flooding in. I realized the horrible way I think that people are out to get me and how I judge people for how they live-self destructive ways, with my patients too. So maybe tough love from someone who is in a position to give it will open the door to all the freindly advice we have given to our pt that seemed to go nowhere. And maybe it wont, but at least we tried.

This wonderful thing happened when i let go of the negative thoughts, it was like a sense of peace came over me. I get along so much better wiht my clients now. They listen to me more now that I'm not always reminding them of what they should be doing- taking meds as prescribed, eating more healthy food. We get along better. They seem happier. I was spewing out a lot of bad "energy" and it doesnt feel good to feel like that. I give my pts the respect now of choices-eg. this meal has a lot of unhealthy ingredients , this one doesnt and they are on their own. I remind them kindly, because they forget, abotu their medical conditions. i try to make the day happy. If they chose to shorten their lives by eating yummy but unhealthy food, at least they are happier for that time and they are given the respect to make their own choices.

It is annoying how pts tax the medical system. As a caregiver theres nothing I can do. it seems like its out of my hands. its a political thing. I hope we will have a universal healthcare system based on low premiums and where people pay a percentage of the medical costs so they wont abuse the system. I have seen waste on a limited scale-pts renting equipement for 3 yrs and going when it could have been paid for in 6mths. Pts not following medical advice and continuously going to doctors about the same problem. All I can do is be as respectful as I can to them and hope they will listen to me when I suggest that they follow the advice of these professionals (that medicare ie tax payers are paying for) and stop the revolving door thing.

Tough love- maybe in some instances, just like the experience you had (only maybe gentler!) it would be enlightening for us to just ASK the person. Get to the point. If we really can't understand why they won't comply, just sit down and say "can I have a heart-to-heart with you? It seems like no matter what we do to try to help you, you don't seem to hear us. I care about you, and want to understand. Is this something you can talk about?"

[lamazeteacher]

"I remind them kindly, because they forget, about their medical conditions. I try to make the day happy. If they chose to shorten their lives by eating yummy but unhealthy food, at least they are happier for that time and they are given the respect to make their own choices." quote from lpnornot

Active listening, which involves repeating what people say, back to them, can be helpful for them. It's like a game, for example if someone tells you fast food is yummier, you could smile and say, deadpan, "You think fast food is yummy..........."

Then wait to see what the patient says, without judging or disagreeing. The next thing he/she says could be, "I know it's not good for me" and the you repeat that, emphasizing the "not good". Suggest that the next time they're confronted with that particular food they repeat like a mantra, "not good, not good, not good and imagine the way it might look in their blood stream (I love the way the TV program "House" shows the way the interior parts of the blood vessels look, being a visual learner).

Let them own each victory against unwise choices! You already said you do that, which is great, and you could leave them with their own words to chew on.