Ignores my being an RN

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Specializes in SICU, Renal Trnsplnt, ER, OPS, LNC.
:uhoh3: I attend a very small church. Included in the congregation are two CNAs and myself. I have been an RN for 20+years. Our pastor and his wife are retired missionaries and our pastor's wife teaches the adult Sunday School class and is also the president of the women's missionary society. It is often that she comes upon a medical question or concern and will ask one of the two CNAs about it. She will even ask another woman who has no medical or nursing background whatsoever. But, she will never ask me. Occassionally, outside of church, she will ask me something "because you are a nurse" but seems to pointedly ignore me in church. She will make a big show of asking the CNAs who usually say they don't know but even then will not ask my opinion. Yesterday, she invited several of us for dinner after the morning service. While at dinner, she was asking another woman about her compression hose and mentioned that her hose slide down and bunch up just below her knee. She then stated "that isn't good" and asked another woman who has no background in the health field to look at the woman's hose and asked her what should be done; I was never asked. I have to admit I feel a little hurt. Am I making a big thing of this or should I just overlook it?
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Specializes in ED, CTSurg, IVTeam, Oncology.

Obviously, asking people who don't know any better isn't a danger to her.

Most notable is the fact that she will ask you something when there isn't an audience present. Hence, she knows you're the one that is the most knowledgeable of the parishioners. However, her repeated avoidance of asking you health related questions in front of others, in the full knowledge that you're probably the most qualified one in the room to answer, bespeaks volumes of her own insecurity. She likes being in charge and anyone that can undercut that (ie someone who knows better than her, and especially in public) is left strictly out of the equation. She is purposely avoiding you because she doesn't want you to upstage her.

My suggestion? Quietly have your tea, nod, smile, and go on your way afterwards. You're not at work, and anyone else's insecurities, fragile or sad little egos are their own business.

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She sounds jealous of you. Perhaps she always wanted to become a nurse and did not have the oppurtunity. IMO

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Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.

if i were you i would thank my lucky stars that she don't concern you with her issues.....i don't tell anyone i am a nurse and if they find out and start asking me questions i run the other way.....

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Maybe she is asking others as a way to kind of point out that she has something going on. Asking you would likely open the topic of conversation a bit more than she would like. I would not take it personally, and honestly I would be glad to not be getting asked questions. I don't like being asked for advice during my personal time anyway.

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Specializes in LTC.

Have you ever asked her why she doesn't? As a pastor's wife...she is in a position of treating people equally and probably doesn't know she's hurting your feelings, I would speak to her about it.

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Specializes in Geriatrics and Quality Improvement,.

I would definately ask her. As a medical professional you are apt at dealing with people on a psychological (how to deal with people) kind of way.. and as a clergy person, she has taken psychology classes and 'how to deal with people " lessons as well.

Two women of equinamity should be able to discuss this issue, without ending in hurt feelings and arguements, unless she is terribly disrupted by the question, and beceomes resentful. Then you know why.

Of course, the only reason to avoid it all together, is if the relationship that you value is at risk by asking, and she is a gossipy person who will extoll your question as insecurity.

Good luck with that.

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

I feel like I am reading a "Dear Ann Landers" letter. I think you are being a little overly sensitive. I bet the woman does not even think about you being a nurse when she asks peoples opinion. Really, if she is asking medical questions it is out of your scope of practice as well. Other than basic first aid and telling her to see her doctor you could be held liable for any damages that could occur by her taking your advice.

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Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.

Roll your eyes and go about your business. I find those people to be terribly annoying.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

I guess I'm a bit outspoken, because as soon as one of the CNA's say "I don't know", I would immediately but in and give the correct response to the question. Even if they give an answer, I would still interject.

I have some concerns myself in church. There are several nurses, including one CRNA at my church. I'm a career changer and will be getting my BSN. It has already been stated that if there are emergencies during service, the CRNA is in charge with the assistance of one other RN. My concern is some of the RNs work some Sundays, and if there's an emergency will I get acknowledged as a nurse to assist? My church is small too, and we do put on Health Fairs as part of our community involvement so everyone knows who's in the medical field.

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Specializes in LTC, home health, critical care, pulmonary nursing.
I guess I'm a bit outspoken, because as soon as one of the CNA's say "I don't know", I would immediately but in and give the correct response to the question. Even if they give an answer, I would still interject.

I have some concerns myself in church. There are several nurses, including one CRNA at my church. I'm a career changer and will be getting my BSN. It has already been stated that if there are emergencies during service, the CRNA is in charge with the assistance of one other RN. My concern is some of the RNs work some Sundays, and if there's an emergency will I get acknowledged as a nurse to assist? My church is small too, and we do put on Health Fairs as part of our community involvement so everyone knows who's in the medical field.

This just made me laugh. Sounds like quite the power play there at the church. The CRNA can go for it. I work enough, on my day off, I'll be in charge of calling 911.

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Maybe she knows it bothers you and that's why she does it.

I would just ignore it and be glad I wasn't asked. I prefer that people do not know that I am a nurse and I do not want to be asked questions.

Really, regarding stockings bunching up, are you any more qualified to solve that problem than anyone else, just because you are a nurse?

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